despite paving and buildings

despite of people eager fighting

each and every leaf daring to come out on their ground

despite pesticides


find her way in miraculous ways

and places


Life can surprise you in many wonderful ways and mirrors are everywhere. The past days I had those co-incidents. While I was preparing for my coaching session on July 1st, my 7th grandchild was born.

Premature, 2 months early, he is taken care of in intensive care nursery within Neonatology. So while my inner boy (soul) came to front, the outside mirror was delivered too.  

In shamanism, soul is to be found in the inner child of the opposite gender, so for a woman it’s the inner boy and for a man it’s the inner girl – keep in mind.



Today, because of 3 tweets by mysticmama.com concerning  Robert Wilkinson’s article about transpluto , I went searching for more. Found profound knowledge, not only about the Transpluto. Here you find Lynn Koiner’s info about transpluto . Because it is a very important issue, I asked Mrs. Koiner about my transpluto and got the answer that it is at 7 Leo 21 R. No further info for the personal level. So I used the inside degrees and looked up 7 Leo to find the following:

A very weak cup of tea.
The outward performance is thin and tenuous, not much there at all. The inner journey is huge. You are concentrating so utterly upon the cosmic mysteries that all personal and even individual reputation and reflection seem pathetically small and insignificant. You are being zapped by huge forces, taken on the cosmic grand tour. As the deep inner opens, the surface outer becomes formal and almost wooden. You are called away. Rarely present in a human context. It all depends upon how far you are willing and able to go with this. If you blast free into an expanded selfhood activation, everything will form around that whole new world to be in. But if, as so often happens, you are not quite here, but not quite all there yet either, the transitions can be excruciating; as you prepare for the infinite life, but are hooked back into the regular life and snagged by image and impression. For you will be consistently reflected back to self as one fragment of yourself and this can be awkward and inwardly agonizing. All you want is to wake up and become your greater self. And meanwhile your lesser self has lots to handle, standing in for someone who is never quite home.

Despite the fact that I was a big baby with a weight of 9 pounds, my core was empty. All my life I had to fill and heal myself again. Always tired, I pushed myself through life, keeping myself walking by a lot of coffee approximately until 1998 and cigarets until 2004. To get rid of tension so now and then a couple of drinks. That stopped 1983. What helped was my strong will:

Moon in Taurus: The fear of criticism and disapproval causes the individual to internalize feelings and to “swallow one’s words,” blocking both personal creativity and communications. In order not to provoke recrimination, the individual may appear to go along with what another says but go one’s own way in the end. The combination of Taurus and Transpluto can make the individual quietly willful.

Reading the above it is clear why the inner boy is afraid to  lose his feet on the ground again.

My transpluto is suited in the 6th house where I also have Pluto. It’s the house of health and healing – my calling. Together with my average mean and true black moon the path is clear. And with transpluto in Virgo, now humanity is walking into years of service and remembering new old divine wisdom and new forms of healing.

My grandson in his premature state now, is as the very weak cup of tea I was as a child. Maybe it is therefore that we both have to wait to meet each other. My inner boy has to heal and strengthen and so is my grandson.



Another nice co-incident: I am a Chinese sign Dragon/ asc. Horse and he is Chinese sign Horse/ asc. Dragon. We will understand each other well and I hope, life will give us a whale of a time.

Two days are gone and now I will try to put words to my coaching experience this week. It is difficult because there came so much info and new material. Also everything had a certain initial period, starting in May and after that with the weekly news about the gem of the week .

I bought the gem. On top of this, you could choose 1 of the photo’s included by the weekly gem message and I choose No.11 – marriage love. In hindsight the first good steps. Making Vine was the next one.

I also had looked up nux vomica info in dutch in my previous blog assimilation where you find it in english.. It came up in the progress of the session also.

Now let’s start at the beginning of it all. When coming back from my short trip 4 weeks ago my right leg started strange behavior with a lot of pain and development of 3 humps between knee and foot. This is an area where I have a lot of scar tissues from an accident when I was 14.  At the knee, there was a swollen blue spot – the veins apparently where blocked somehow. Took me 2 weeks to get that flowing again using medicine I knew from 25 years ago when I had a serious thrombosis. The 3 humps down the leg stayed. I started drinking nettle tea to get rid of the edema. No sign of progress.

In the meantime I made some tools and painted as you can see in my blog. Last Sunday the last tool – Vine.

Tuesday finally my appointment for a session. First thing said was that Vine was the tool for the inner issue at hand. Than all the new info came I had to take in to understand what was coming. Involved are the colors blue and yellow. In this context blue is ratio and all we normally see as male energy, yellow the intuitive, sunny, creative, extraverted and source energy, life stream, we usually see as feminine. It’s like we see the brain divided into left and right brain with the same attributes. That is how far science has come so far but this is not the whole truth and not the same for every human being. Our brain is like an energy sub-station. It manages the amount of source energy the individual in its actual state of inner (soul) development is able to handle.


Within the individual soul there is also not always applicable that left is feminine and right is male. Here the book ‘Het denkende lichaam ‘ written by Charles de Monchy came into picture and I surely will read it soon. All the energy’s have to work together in constant stream.

In my case, as a matter of fact, the male is the soft, creative, intuitive sunny source connected yellow one and the feminine side is the blue ratio oriented, practical, intelligent one. Astonished me suddenly recognized the reason I always say that earth and all practical things are blue in my opinion. My work colors are blue/white. I wear blue most of the time in my life. The yellow one was absolutely absent for a very long time and part of it, the little inner boy, is still refusing to show up.

This refusal was triggered by two interactions with male persons the past weeks and during my short trip. I first asked how the inner man and woman are doing. They still look at each other with suspicion but are working more or less together. The inner boy is frightened because he was suppressed in my childhood by both my parents and he had negative examples around of being a yellow man with abuse of alcohol and smoking, overeating and having a blue, dictatorial mother. On top of that, he saw male energy, might, power and leadership in a corrupted and damaged version which makes oppressors. But how hard we tried, no contact with the ancestor line, the old is really closed. The work now is inside and of my own.

The two reasons he does not want to show up are:

a) if I show and use my yellow potential I may ‘fly out’ and not being able to keep the feet on the ground

b) if inner man and woman work together they might oppress me again.

So little fellow is busy to interrupt the inner man and woman from working together. By doing so he unfortunately also is preventing his yellow potential to work to the fullest and to connect the whole package to the live stream to get something done practically. This young fellow also had the most problems you find in the info about nux vomica. Some I really know from younger years but to my surprise I now have some symptoms I never had before. the inner boy is coming to the fore after all. I have ordered nux vomica too. 

The past 2 days 2 of the humps lessened and the pain is bearable. The amazoniet is the gem to set to work now in this process. Last week I wear the gem pendant as a necklace but my neck got irritated. In the session the message was to not wear it as a necklace but on my heart. So I pinned the pendant to my bra :-) .

A lot of work in progress the upcoming time. All the tools and paintings I already made will come in after this chapter is fully worked through. Another proof of how far into the future I am able to gaze.

The Full Moon this month will be at 20º Capricorn, Sun at 20º Cancer. As far as I understand the upcoming development this Full Moon can be the rainbow I’ve (we) been waiting for.The Sun degree is the illumination or enlightenment,whereas the Moon shows us the potential forms that enlightenment will take.

Many different perfumes carried by a breeze.
We bear within us many past lives, each one complete, autonomous, and emitting its own subtle, special fragrance. There are points along the journey when we must stand together with the whole line-up of our previous selves and follow out the journey they were all leading to. This is a formidable task. There is a lot to live up to. It grants you authority and conviction and it makes it very hard to get started. In order to get anywhere you must at times deny the awareness that everybody is there, and do whatever you can do, apparently on your own. But truly the depth of experience, the substantive inward development and the power of your inner drive give it away–you are destiny-charged in a larger-than-life fashion. Being self-possessed is your watchword. There is so much to accomplish. And at the center of the journey lies self-knowledge and the overriding determination to clear the karmic slate, to free up what has been trapped and bound and to come to yourself afresh. This destiny-will is guided, cosmically supported, centrally relevant to your whole world, and you will do it. Turn the darkest of hours into the brightest breakthroughs by refusing to stop anywhere or to back down from your resolve to wake up this time and get on with the greater path, at long last.

Many brightly colored tropical fish.
When you are inside of the life-flow, the vividness of impressions and the vibrancy of responses wax so strong and powerful that you must live it out in the unconscious, leaving the conscious levels high and dry. The immense fertility of imaginative depths stays inside and avoids super flooding by setting off a private preserve of consciousness within which to maintain personal priorities. Inside, the deep and vital fluids are quickened and marvelously differentiated and vast. This rigid division between the overt and the covert is felt to be simply a given. The consequences are severe. All livingness is excluded by consciousness and all consciousness is excluded by livingness. This stance is static and repetitive, and represents a final echo of a longstanding duality, which must yield to a whole new way of being in this world when every other option is used up.

click picture for a suiting song.

Vine II

Just finished the Vine tool. This time, I tried something different by using soft pastels chalk. As a matter of fact, pastels work great on wood too.Have a look yourself.






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