Two days are gone and now I will try to put words to my coaching experience this week. It is difficult because there came so much info and new material. Also everything had a certain initial period, starting in May and after that with the weekly news about the gem of the week .
I bought the gem. On top of this, you could choose 1 of the photo’s included by the weekly gem message and I choose No.11 – marriage love. In hindsight the first good steps. Making Vine was the next one.
I also had looked up nux vomica info in dutch in my previous blog assimilation where you find it in english.. It came up in the progress of the session also.
Now let’s start at the beginning of it all. When coming back from my short trip 4 weeks ago my right leg started strange behavior with a lot of pain and development of 3 humps between knee and foot. This is an area where I have a lot of scar tissues from an accident when I was 14. At the knee, there was a swollen blue spot – the veins apparently where blocked somehow. Took me 2 weeks to get that flowing again using medicine I knew from 25 years ago when I had a serious thrombosis. The 3 humps down the leg stayed. I started drinking nettle tea to get rid of the edema. No sign of progress.
In the meantime I made some tools and painted as you can see in my blog. Last Sunday the last tool – Vine.
Tuesday finally my appointment for a session. First thing said was that Vine was the tool for the inner issue at hand. Than all the new info came I had to take in to understand what was coming. Involved are the colors blue and yellow. In this context blue is ratio and all we normally see as male energy, yellow the intuitive, sunny, creative, extraverted and source energy, life stream, we usually see as feminine. It’s like we see the brain divided into left and right brain with the same attributes. That is how far science has come so far but this is not the whole truth and not the same for every human being. Our brain is like an energy sub-station. It manages the amount of source energy the individual in its actual state of inner (soul) development is able to handle.
Within the individual soul there is also not always applicable that left is feminine and right is male. Here the book ‘Het denkende lichaam ‘ written by Charles de Monchy came into picture and I surely will read it soon. All the energy’s have to work together in constant stream.
In my case, as a matter of fact, the male is the soft, creative, intuitive sunny source connected yellow one and the feminine side is the blue ratio oriented, practical, intelligent one. Astonished me suddenly recognized the reason I always say that earth and all practical things are blue in my opinion. My work colors are blue/white. I wear blue most of the time in my life. The yellow one was absolutely absent for a very long time and part of it, the little inner boy, is still refusing to show up.
This refusal was triggered by two interactions with male persons the past weeks and during my short trip. I first asked how the inner man and woman are doing. They still look at each other with suspicion but are working more or less together. The inner boy is frightened because he was suppressed in my childhood by both my parents and he had negative examples around of being a yellow man with abuse of alcohol and smoking, overeating and having a blue, dictatorial mother. On top of that, he saw male energy, might, power and leadership in a corrupted and damaged version which makes oppressors. But how hard we tried, no contact with the ancestor line, the old is really closed. The work now is inside and of my own.
The two reasons he does not want to show up are:
a) if I show and use my yellow potential I may ‘fly out’ and not being able to keep the feet on the ground
b) if inner man and woman work together they might oppress me again.
So little fellow is busy to interrupt the inner man and woman from working together. By doing so he unfortunately also is preventing his yellow potential to work to the fullest and to connect the whole package to the live stream to get something done practically. This young fellow also had the most problems you find in the info about nux vomica. Some I really know from younger years but to my surprise I now have some symptoms I never had before. the inner boy is coming to the fore after all. I have ordered nux vomica too.
The past 2 days 2 of the humps lessened and the pain is bearable. The amazoniet is the gem to set to work now in this process. Last week I wear the gem pendant as a necklace but my neck got irritated. In the session the message was to not wear it as a necklace but on my heart. So I pinned the pendant to my bra :-) .
A lot of work in progress the upcoming time. All the tools and paintings I already made will come in after this chapter is fully worked through. Another proof of how far into the future I am able to gaze.