Next step

Yesterday there was the 2nd square between Mars & Neptune. The 1st appeared October,12. As I did then I did yesterday evening, when finally the urge hit to do so. We are all in the middle of a process. The final square will appear in March 2023.


soft start

photo of the still wet painting and late in the evening, the pre eclipse painting ‘Soft Start’

after drying and in daylight

When reading the Weekly by https://www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk/weekly-forecasts for October 17 to 23, I stumbled upon the Rose of Venus. Curious as I am I looked it up. First at Arielle Guttman’s website and ordered her book: Venus Star Rising. After that I found a list of Venus Star Points: https://www.scribd.com/document/392156248/FindYourVenusStarPoint-pdf  .

Given my birthday December 27, 1952 my Venus Star is at 03° Capricorn. Could not find more specific information so for a first impression, I used Chandra Degrees by Ellias Lonsdale. The Chandra Degrees have a strong symbolism and are very suiting in my experience. So my Venus Star degree says:

A woman sniffing pepper and sneezing violently.
Attractions and repulsions, convictions, beliefs, antipathies, and judgements. Being confronted karmically with whatever you most phobically seek to run away from. Mercilessly and ruthlessly over and again forced to come to terms with what you hate and cannot deal with. The fast and strong and hard path to get through mountains of karma and move onward. Yet each episode, every cycle of recapitulation, tends to be engulfing and consuming. You must discover the lost art of taking up karmic lessons without any indulgence in self-flagellation. If you can meet it and release it, get inside of it and be done with it, the process works. But if you linger over right and wrong, blame and praise, the swirls pull you too far under too long and the path through becomes a repetition compulsion, with very little real breakthrough.

Completely true. During my life I worked through all named issues and old karmic wounds. Turned every stone upside down and I’m still doing so. With every thing found the load got lighter and the way brighter. I’m at ease and quiet inside and looking forward to the new times we are heading. Out with old and in with the new – keeping the good. The dates of new rose of Venus  you find here: https://foreverconscious.com/intuitive-astrology-venus-star-point-october-2022

It will be interesting what I will find when having the book.


Due to an unexpected color bleed, I had to repair the painting this morning. A completely different outcome emerged.


Under the Full Moon, around midnight, the painting was born. It sparkles and I’m intrigued by the center.

During the weeks following my last post, I kept painting and drawing. Some of the works were steppingstones on the way as got through during a new session on Wednesday.
First the paintings and drawing in the right order:

Had the feeling that the stone circle had something to do with the ancestor and that was the case. The process mainly revolved around the black spot on the head which I supposed to be a hat but it wasn’t. Nasty dark energy blocking the flow of love for generations. Anger about all and everybody. That energy surprisingly vanished when the Stone circle was placed on the ancestor painting. After the insights I did the necessary energy work and burnt the ancestor painting, something black I found as symbol together with that little spot from the stone circle painting.

In the black thing I found, I also discovered a small blue and a small purple cloth, suiting the blue and purple painting above. Those two make total sense, read further.

The next step is a new painting about that ancestor woman but in composition with the blue and purple painting – some sort of birth process which is not finished yet and it can be more radiant was the message. I’m waiting for the ignition to start painting. Here the Inside degree for the Full Moon of October 9, 2022 suiting the above:

Chandra Symbol Full Moon 16 Aries: Three sculptured birds: one black marble, one white marble, one solid gold

“Genius. An extraordinary consciousness in a three-fold sweep of the phases of intelligence. At first naive confidence in mental powers, and in your own ability to know what everyone needs to know and do what everyone needs to do. But later on, there creeps in the terrible knowledge that you know nothing, understand even less, and are operating in the dark. This can be terrifying, but is also redemptive in radical measure. Then there comes a synthesis, a cooking up of the raw intelligence into a vital grasp of the essentials in life, and in particular of your own place in this world, with a brilliant awakening to the total design and how your own awareness is perfectly poised in the center to reflect all that is.”

Inside Degrees Elias Lonsdale.

While the family painting was processing in my energy I developed hot flashes as if in menopause. At my age impossible. Turned out, that those hot flashes occur also when something in your energy is shifting and changing because of transformation. Also a painting came up which is part of the process, although it was painted for the #future_art_challenge at the theme ‘life above the clouds’. It’s personal and it’s all the ancestors.

From there, after new insights, one particular ancestor had to be painted apart from the rest as an energy painting. I did it today. While I was busy I felt a lot of intermingling in the energy. When finished the hot flashes started again.

Ceres (conjunct the Cancer Sun) will oppose this Moon (and Pluto Rx) so the parental theme will be very strong. As the indicator of cycles, Ceres also suggests this Moon will mark the end of a lifecycle with Pluto as the “death”. What you’ve nurtured may be mature and ready to leave. Or, it may have aged to the point where a natural death occurs. Your experience of nurturing from your past may be emphasized as you confront the dynamics of loss, helplessness and authority. Remember, you’re no longer the helpless child. The Moon trines Uranus in Taurus, suggesting that even if this is an ending it will be an update that’s freeing. A new reality is emerging and it’s not as rigid as you think- there’s room to breathe and be an individual.
full text: https://rubyslipper.ca/ruby-slipper-astrology/2022/7/july-13th-2022-full-moon-in-capricorn

Suiting the path I’m on. The parental theme and family line came up recently for review. A painting emerged out of it – the family with parents and grandparents. Still processing but it feels like a block to the future indeed.



The next step in this journey to wholeness is the recognition of helplessness. In this new togetherness, on the new path into the unknown, the feeling is helpless. Helpless on how, when, where and with wat to proceed. Only certain thing is movement, going forward with baby steps. As a matter of fact I found this helplessness again while studying this book. It is a normal reaction at this point of the process.

The book further stated that undissolved trauma has impact according to the information about the polyvagal theory by Porges in Dutch A lot of what I found I can place.

If this defensive energy is not discharged in action, it continues to build up and can be experienced in the body as hypertonia, stiffness of joints and rigidity during movement, among other things as a result of reduced coordination (motor control impairment). In addition to a mental component, trauma also has a physical component.
The muscle tension that arises is often a trigger that in turn keeps the sympathetic system active again.

Thus, a chronic vicious circle of mobilization can arise, which in the long run will lead to activation of the immobilization subsystem (unmyelinated vagus). Outwardly one is active and present, but internally a state of exhaustion arises: chronic daydreaming, indifference, depression, shame, self-hatred and finally total ‘switch-off’: and hypo-arousal with a lowered heart rate. Women generally show more of the dorsal vagus response and men show more of the sympathetic response under stress.

So instead of another big canvas I had to see how to paint this helplessness. I took a small canvas because some parts feel small due to helplessness. But there is movement somehow.


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