secret

Yesterday afternoon the inspiration to paint. After a short meditation I choose to use the sentence that give one roots: I am <your full birth name> born on <date> at <birthtime> in <birthpalce> as <son/daughter> of <name father>and <name mother with maiden name> . Suddenly I had to aid: and the twin sister of my, still-born or already dead during the pregnancy, twin brother . For the first time since a family constellation when I got sure about this fact, I gave him a place. It is a family secret not to be spoken of. There was this one time my father said: “I was called that I had a son and when I got to the hospital, there was only you.” Back than the word ‘only ‘ settled in.

Started painting, choosing the colors with eyes closed and painted. Everything is done with eyes closed – this way the soul can take over to show what needs to be shown. When no more colors or moves to be made the painting was finished.

I saw the rest colors on the plate. Took a new paper and put it on the plate, pressed it down and made a turn with it. Another painting was born.

When seeing what came out I had to put the two together. It’s like me and him….

After all was done I draw cards – one for the inner child and one for the grown-up….amazing.

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Jupiter

Yesterday I asked astrologer Carin van der Hem if I was right that Jupiter now is in my 8th house. This is the case.

After our conversation I found the timeline of Jupiter in Sagittarius. Also all symbols and history of Jupiter. Here the surprise was great. The symbols are: Eagles, Acorns and Oak trees and from Oak tree wood ships were made back in time.

Six years ago I planted 2 acorns which grew into Oak trees. Two weeks ago they got bigger pots and new soil. This summer one of them had the first acorns. The little hats they have I implemented in a new tool.

Two days ago I painted an Eagle….

Jupiter itself – I made a tool of which is part of the unconditional wealth assemblage.

No crap

We all know that the newspaper horoscopes are crap. For real insight you need the reading of your natal chart by a studied astrologer. Nevertheless, people most of the time, make fun about astrology.

I found astrology very insight giving. After 66 years alive and diving deep into me and my path for almost 30 years, I can say that personal astrology readings are a treasure. There are various methods and different things to study. I have three different natal chart readings by three different astrologers gained over the years – building more insight after one another. Everything builds on another layer. There was the information about the Hades Moon by Judy Hall, the insights around Neptune in your chart by Maurice Fernandez, Astrology for the soul, Astrology of success, Cosmic Love and Spiritual Astrology, all by Jan Spiller. The latter was very insightful with really new information, even about my parents mission in this life.

After all this information I came across an article about the astrological midpoints which you can calculate and look for their meaning. They opened a new layer of understanding what had happened so far and what I truly was supposed to do. The insight gained evolved around something I’m still busy to develop.

Followed by an article about retrograde asteroids in your natal chart as determining factors of occupation, problems and place to live. This was explained by the chart of Kavanaugh. What was said matched exactly with what I found with numerology but more in-depth. Of course my curiosity won and I looked up my asteroids. None retrograde but nevertheless ringing with fundamental truth. Most of the information was already lived through. One asteroid was a really nasty one: NESSUS, also called THE BEAST. When reading what he stands for, my truly nasty years with lots of hurdles, chaos and tears finally made sense. Also my struggle to uncover and release ancestral inheritance related abusive family patterns and deep patterns of helplessness, being taken advantage of, oppressed or made the scapegoat.

I really lived the beast and it wasn’t easy at all. Even a painting I made years later has new meaning now.

So I can tell that all what I found so far is true and worth studying. how to find your natal asteroids

And along came this sentence: Natal Planets Retrograde: These indicate issues carried over from past lives that are being worked on again in this lifetime – look them up.

Two days ago this popped up while searching for something completely different:

Planets in aspect with the Ascendant dispatch their working immediately outside.

Let’s have a look at that! I have Moon (sextile), Saturn, Pluto and Neptune( all 3 inconjunct) in aspect to my ascendant. A lot info came to front. Also most already worked through in life. Why bother? Because this information resulted in an understanding and therefore opened up a door to forgiveness.

Especially the information around the Pluto inconjunct which, among other, said:

Being raised by much older, wiser people. Spending a lot of time with grandparents and elders as a child. The controlling influence of family members. Being the object of a power struggle among family members: Grandma v. Mom, Mother-in-law v. mother-in-law, Mother-in-law v. daughter-in-law. People with this placement often have lived with a grandmother in the family and often established a stronger bond with her than other family members – and this in a culture where the extended family is increasingly a thing of the past. Being aware of death in the environment from a young age. Initiating states of change. Feeling like you’re waiting for permission to live your life.

I lived with my parents and grandmother mothers side. Constant arguing between my mom and grandmother, between both woman and my father. All controlling everything, me and each other. Grandmother and her friends were somehow a safe heaven later on. The mother in law thing – oh joy – death – really present, granny fathers side died, then his brother, an uncle I loved very much, my parents and grandmother mothers side. Friends who committed suicide – tried it myself once – something belonging to me I learned from the Neptune book.

Astrology is no fuss, crap or nonsense – it really give you insight in yourself. All I discovered with astrology over the years was worthwhile. The info came in over the years, not all at once. Your life-path unfold in layers and circles and so come the suiting information. Everything is precisely right at any given point in your life – no blame of parents, circumstances, environment – you and your supposed learning curve and your Soul need what is given and your reaction determine the outcome. Reacting from the old you, from your old outworn patterns bring forth chaos, mayhem and disaster. When you have enough and after years of blaming all and everything for your misery, you start looking, reading and listening. The right teachers are always around just in time.

Green

After yoga and meditation it had to be painted. When almost finished I had an inner picture of the painting coming out of something green, like a cloud or so. Had green fabric in the attic. Bit involute to do…..

 

Venus Retro offers a plan!

This is a guideline from Carol Ann Ciocco for the Venus retrograde and the timeline for the second half of 2018. Rang a bell ….

VENUS Rx following MARS Rx
MAKE YOUR GOALS CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUES

Over the summer of 2018 – across the tumultuous span of a Triple Eclipse /Triple Super New Moon portal – we experienced Mars Retrograde which was partly simultaneous with Mercury Retrograde.

With Mars Retrograde, we identified a goal-template, action plan or ‘Mission statement’ if you will. We may not have done this consciously (most of us probably didn’t); however the circumstances of our life brought forth the quandaries and blocks, the emotional outbursts, ah-ha’s and deep knowing that created a sense of what ‘go’ means for us.

I.e. at the end of August you said to yourself “In September I am going to do (this). It’s time. It’s what I want to do”. And then you most likely came up with a couple of action steps to take, which you may have taken. But most likely, the plan you came up with has sort of died on the vine. Maybe your energy bottomed-out in September. Don’t beat yourself up for that. It is right on target with the arc of energy that is happening now.
You see, we are now in the midst of Venus Retrograde – it began on October 5 and remains through November 16. The ‘aura’ of Venus Retrograde was very present in September.
The timing opens up the opportunity for a real and essential soul-searching that will have a profound effect on our life path. The back-to-back timing of Mars and Venus Retrograde is kind of like a 6 month Tony Robbins seminar where the pumped-up tele-guru asks: WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU DESIRE???

With Venus Retrograde you will discover the core values that will en-spirit into your newly decided vehicle. Mars is the fuel. Venus is the GPS. The timing is excellent.
In addition, Mercury Retrograde weaves through this process in a way that is almost symphonic. Mars and Mercury Rx overlapped during the summer; and Venus and Mercury Rx will have a precise hand-off or baton pass on November 16, 2018 – creating an elegant gateway and overlap between the energies.

Here’s the rhythm:
Mars Retrograde – June-August = Will
Mercury Retrograde – July-August = Mind alignment with Will
Venus Retrograde – October-November = Heart
Mercury Retrograde – Nov-Dec = Mind alignment with Heart
=ALIGNED & SYNTHESIZED TRINITY OF HEART, MIND & WILL

Put another way:
What do I want?
I make up my mind about it
What do I value?
I think with my heart to navigate

And another way:
How can I get what I want?
A new state of mind is necessary
Where am I out of alignment with my desire?
For answers, I soften my mind with creative awareness

You will then synthesize and align this trinity of awareness for a new outlook on the who what when where and why of your life, beginning in January/February 2019.

As I said above: You have a vehicle (your life). Mars is the fuel. Venus is the GPS.

So, from October-December, it’s time to think about all of these things (and the info in my previous posts on Mars Retrograde) and see what comes forth in the way of a master plan and new vision for your life going forward.
For now, nothing to worry about except navigating the annual hectic end-of-year holiday rush. But please do pay attention to your internal process – triggered, as always, by those things in our lives that stir us up. That is the data to mine to emerge more enlightened about your journey.

Here are some purely academic exercises for you to work with between now and the end of the year.

Mars Rx – Goals
develop an intentional and clear vision including:
goals
mission
purpose
vocation
passion
personal values (see below)
personal definition of success
unique talent

To help with this, here are some questions to ask yourself. These questions come from astrologer Phillip Sedgewick:

1. Review all standard modes of action for alignment with the intended result. You know, is your approach compelling or off-putting? Can you get more bears with honey than vinegar? And, why do you want bears?
2. Consider if those things you unconsciously seek actually fit your big picture aspirations and dharmic claims.
3. Establish a highly motivated engine burn for all things that summon your attention and passionate creativity.
4. Pause in the face of knee-jerk reactions prior to responding.

Venus Rx – Values
what matters most to you
what you want your life to look like
how you want to feel
what brings you joy, peace, satisfaction
What makes you happiest? – Working with others?
Being in nature? Hitting deadlines? Having personal freedom?
Come up with some key words…

Values keywords Example:
clarity
purpose
connection
creativity

To help with this process, here are some questions. These questions come from astrologer Phillip Sedgewick:

1. Ask yourself what you truly need.

2. Contemplate your resources, merit and worth, both tangible and intangible.

3. Value your intangible resources with greater ferocity than the tangible. After all, those things intangible and of your nature will never go away unless you ignore them.

4. Establish your personal criteria for what is it you need, what is it you want, and the justification system in place regarding both.

5. Determine your place in the social structure of life. Cut out things that do not fit. Include yourself in supportive and stimulating circles.

The process will unfold (unconsciously), even if you don’t sit down and work with it, meditate with it. But if you do consciously engage, you will reap great rewards, both within your life and for your spiritual evolution.

Irish pt 2

In my post Irish I told about a little tool. It waited until today I had the inspiration….

Some years ago, I got a big mother of pearl shell as a present.June 24 this year I got a little shell as a present from a very friendly lady who was hired to make nature-friends with the children. Yesterday, I put the two together. Today the little Irish fellow mingled too. It had to be this way.

Medlar

Spirit works in mysterious ways. Yesterday I saw a detective series within the detectives wife is going to make Medlar’s Jelly. She told her husband the detective: “ It has to be made by rotten medlars….” and his face expression was hilarious. This morning the thought process around Medlar’s Jelly started, above all the mention that the medlars has to be rotten….The Medlars Jelly is described as utterly delicious and beautiful to look at – amber with pink highlights and very glossy.

Even Shakespeare wrote about the Medlar in Romeo & Juliet:

Now will he sit under a medlar tree,
And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit
As maids call medlars, when they laugh alone.
O Romeo, that she were, O that she were
An open-arse and thou a poperin pear!

Further my thoughts went to ‘rotten’ bleeted Medlars. In the state of bleeting it suites transformation – only if we rott we can grow – only if the Medlars are rotten you can make new delicious jelly or jam of them. Same as in life I would say. Surely suiting all the rotten folks in politics and the money world. It all has to become so rotten that there is no further denial possible that it all has to change. Than we can build new livable conditions – making tasty jelly or jam.

Getting more and more intrigued by the Medlar, I came across this:

Medlar (Mespilus germanica):

Message:

“You feel very lonely at the moment, I can help you overcome this loneliness, I help you to be open to new insights and give you the courage to push your own boundaries. You are not alone.”

Light:
transformation; insight; self-confidence; healing; protective

Dark:
capricious, arrogant, fearful, crime,
Element:
Earth; Air

Energetic:
1st and 4th Chakra

Planet:
Saturn; Uranus; Sun

Season:
Spring; Autumn

Medical qualities:
use in case of constipation

Physical:
stomach; intestine; throat

Personal:
provides insight into your own skills; helper to push boundaries

Here I recognized that the Medlar is all around the transition we’re all in, suiting the upcoming New Moon. The retrograde Venus in Scorpio and Libra in this is like the bleeting process the Medlar fruit has to go through before it is sweet jelly or jam. That this little conversation in the detective series had such an impact on me show, that I’ m in the process and that I have helpful companions around me.

As mentioned above – the jelly has the color of amber and amber is all about the heart and love. Only lived from your heart and love sprout a good life.

More about the Medlar Tree

Would like to have one of the traditional Makhila’s made from Medlar tree wood

The Makhila is a wonderful symbol for the Medlar Tree being a protective companion on your path.

The recipe for Medlar’s Jelly