The past weeks where exciting with a lot of new things to learn and master. A new job entered my life. So did some painful changes in my body. A new blood test showed that the anti-thyroid-peroxidase antibodies increased unfortunately and my left leg started to swell. The longer the more and with very painful inflammations too. Today I had my next coaching session and new horizons on a higher plane occurred.


The changes in my life, thus being the new job and following a new food pattern puzzle the female ancestor line. Old fears re-entered, giving me a hard time, especially the past days and the kidney energy. The ancestor line is not amused.The fact that I have a job and working on letting go of the old pattern of doing all and everything absolutely perfect. There is that voice who is telling me every little fault I may make repeating it over and over again, driving me crazy. The realization brought back some old childhood memories when I had to be perfect from the very beginning. Now as an adult woman, I want to live without this very old pattern the female line kept for ages: mothers who live their life through the daughter born in the next generation. To help the body cope with this process I have to use natrium muriaticum.

This was not the core of the problem – more diving necessary….. The increased anti-thyroid-peroxidase antibodies came into picture. It’s an auto immune disease. Auto immune disease occur, when one has no unconditional trust and faith in oneself like children have before it is shut down. If one does not trust that it is safe to have this trust, which give immunity, the body start to build an unhealthy immune system. In my case the unconditional trust and faith in myself was broken early in my life and suddenly a past life came back to mind when faith in my knowing became my death. But this issue was healed and the core problem was to be found on a higher plane.

There is old fear about having faith and trust in myself surplus the fear to use my abilities. It still does not feel safe and back then I put it into a tiny closet and locked it up. That felt safe back then but it is not because I do not get the nutrition I need. The fears around this are the reason the body is thinking that it is not immune and start making an unhealthy immune system. In my case the anti-thyroid-peroxidase antibodies. Blood type O persons have, beside other diseases, the chance to start problems with the thyroid. The thyroid tool I made quite some time ago, was not complete.

woensdag 8

During my session, a vision came up by my coach of the tiny closet and that it has to be unlocked. At that point I said: “I need the key! ” and the vision of that key came up – ” A big key, it is a big key! Seems illogical, seeing the tiny closet but the key is big.”

“I already have found it although there has to be some work done on it.” and I took the branch, I found in the woods last weekend, into my hands. “Yes, that’s the one!” Here I had to laugh, because if this was the missing item for the thyroid tool than the key was to big and the tool must be implemented on the key in some way. My coach laughed too. “That’s right dear. Work for the weekend with the full moon.”

Here the raw branch as I found it in the woods. I kept saying that I hope there are no bugs in it and my coach said that this was a perfect proof of my unfaithfulness.key2

The weekend will be a hard work weekend. Curious what will come up when working on the key.


stone desert

People do not invest in gardens anymore. They create stone desert’s. Municipality’s construct houses on each available / possible earth spot. Mother Earth cannot breathe under concrete, tiles and asphalt. Rain cannot sink away and animals suffer or become extinct. Cutting forest’s down, destroying the rainforest will change the balance of Mother Nature. We also change the natural flow of rivers by building dams and canals.

We, the so-called ‘crown of creation’ , destroy Mother Earth, our own home we were supposed to nurture. We dig deep everywhere in blind robbery only for the profit. We have lost sight on the big picture and the future – this planet is doomed to die when we continue to treat Earth and Nature like this.

Those who know and still have a heart for Flora and Fauna can start to make a difference and start the change.

Stop making stone deserts to start with and plant a garden with lots of flowers. Plant a tree. Guerilla gardening wherever possible.

A little change by every one of us make a great one.

more green in the garden – article in dutch




Vormtekenen is een activiteit waarbij het gaat om het in evenwicht brengen van figuren, vormen, die je uit de losse hand tekent. Tijdens het tekenen van de figuur blijft je potlood steeds contact houden met het papier; je beweegt in een doorgaande lijn zo vaak door de figuur heen als prettig voor je voelt. Een figuur in een mooi evenwicht tekenen lukt meestal niet meteen, maar geef jezelf de kans om te leren en te oefenen. In de loop van de tijd zul je merken dat het gemakkelijker gaat en dat je hand de bewegingen als het ware leert kennen.


* een aantal vellen papier van A3 formaat

* een zacht potlood, 2B of 3B

* ongeveer 10 minuten tijd waarin je niet gestoord wordt

* een rustig plekje om te zitten


Neem een vel papier en leg het horizontaal voor je neer.Het potlood neem je in een open hand, alsof je iets ontvangt. Dit is precies andersom dan wanneer je schrijft en dat voelt in het begin misschien wat gek.Ga dan de linker lemniscaat (zie voorbeeld hieronder) tekenen, zo groot als voor jou prettig is en beweeg er net zolang doorheen als fijn is.Daarna neem je een vel papier dat je verticaal neerlegt en daarop teken je op dezelfde manier de rechter lemniscaat.


Tijdens het tekenen kun je variëren met:

* de richting waarin je door de figuur heen beweegt.

* de tijdsduur waarin je één figuur tekent; hoe voelt het om langer door te gaan, dan je prettig vindt, of juist heel snel te stoppen.

* het tempo waarmee je tekent, probeer bijvoorbeeld eens te vertragen.

* waar je aandacht is; kun je bij de punt van je potlood blijven?

* de grootte van de figuur; welk formaat past echt bij jou?

Elske Hoen – Kunstzinnig therapeut

The first exercise of the mini email course ‘Creative relaxation’.

The first attempt was the horizontal version. It was very difficult to hold the pencil in an open hand. It got a big one and done quite hastily until I remembered to keep the eye on the tip of the pencil. Trying to do so meant to slow down, otherwise not so easy.lemnis1horizontal

The second one I did with a color pencil, slowly and with the eye on the tip. It’s slightly different from the first one. lemnis2 horizontal

Than the vertically version. The big one done quick, the small right one done at an even faster rate, looks like a butterfly. The smaller I did them the more precise they got. During drawing the really small one, it was not possible to hold the eye on the tip of the pencil.


I used parchment paper so I could place them after each other and scan them. Here the result:


Together with relaxation music it is a nice exercise and remarkable differences in feeling while doing it quick, slowly. Even painting in different colors, I did on another sheet,  made a difference.


It’s a long time ago, when I had that dream about taking a new name. The first name given in that dream was ‘ Es ‘ and the last name ‘ Goose ‘. Everybody reacted hilarious about this, but I took ‘ Es ‘ ever since and let alone the ‘ Goose ‘.

Some day ago, on Twitter, A. Steenbakkers, @Zijdieniettwitt , gave a link to transfer your name into calligraphy . So I entered my old name, which obviously was to long for the occasion. The picture of a water lily was suiting. The water lily often showed in the context of my character.

Than I tried ‘ Es ‘ and to my surprise the picture shows geese flying. Just Happenstance ? – but very nice.


Project Butterfly, we did at the day activity group, has come to completion. Today the last 4 butterflies were made.They all got pasted on an airy background. As a mater of fact it is the background of the castle, we made some time ago.You can see the castle vaguely shining through.

kasteel gekleurd1

The idea is as follows:
Butterflies are the messenger of soul and they all are on their way up into the sky with destiny cloud castle.


The adult

Painted a background for the butterfly on cardboard and let it dry in the hot sun. When fetching it, I saw a figure, maybe thanks to my imagination, but I saw it. ‘That is the adult’ went through my head and I made a picture.


A lady with a white dress, a colored mantle and an abundant hat. When my butterfly was fixed on the background I started adobe my lady with a lot of pleasure.

adult totaal 2

Now you see the adult in a white dress with a red mantle, a turquoise mantle, the dark lady and the golden lady. And finally:

adult 10

In the early morning today, a Hades Full Moon occurred bringing heavy energy and lesson for all of us. And, like always on my path, I had scheduled a coaching session for myself already and right in time.

After the mother-child painting, see https://redskywalkeronearth.wordpress.com/2015/06/12/mothers-daughters/ , now I’m heading towards being a fully adult person. You may ask how that is possible at the age of 62 and I will answer that in the following.

All my reactions the past days were reactive and overly emotional. I wondered already what was going on. Today we looked at the part which is acting like this and, as a mater of fact, is the neglected child plus the part of the inner child who mothered the neglected part because mother was not available. This nurturing was more of a survival tactic back then and the nurturing part played and still plays, the adult but as a matter of fact is not one of course.

Transition to Adult Life
Under the current universal energy of  todays Hades Full Moon, this two parts show up for being healed. The past days, some doldrums occurred and the fight-flight-freeze modus was back. Strange enough this is also the behavior of blood type O, and I am one.

Inability, anger because of this and sadness about the anger were part of the picture. How to conduct? In my family there was an aversion of being adult. Adulthood, part of the family and ancestors assumed that life had to be all fun, sweetness and airy fairy when being adult, others assumed that adulthood only is bad luck, upheaval and worries.

Neither of them is right, because life is what it is – sometimes great, sometimes shit and sometimes just average. Adulthood means having come to full growth and maturity, taking life as it comes and take action when necessary.

Because of the actual job hunt I’m in, another theme came up – and hit exactly the theme the Full Moon hit my energy – the work area and what is inherited from home around that. Mother all about class and prestige while my dad actually was about performance and achievement, deep down unacknowledged wanting something totally different and to be self-employed. The behavior is deeply imprinted within me and part of me is also like this. As an adult one has, sometimes, to do things less liked, to get to the heart-wished goal. A real turn around for the inner child and the playing adult part in the fight-flight-freeze modus.

From this point we came to the next – I am following the blood type diet which is not really a diet in the common sense but more an eating pattern: eating what is good for you and leave alone what’s not. I have a list of all food not good for me and, as a child, I had to eat all this stuff not good for me and so suffered from all the illness, overweight and fatigue mentioned for my blood type. Even the thyroid problems come from eating the wrong stuff, as does bad blood circulation, arthritis and stomach pain. Even here the playing adult part try to intervene now I am busy to change food and eating habits.


Until the next session over about 6 weeks I have 2 new assignments:
1. Painting the adult how I see it
2. inner child and mother – thus me and the little one reconnected.


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