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After a course morning I came home, tired as hell. The theme had been fear in all its forms and depression with eventually suicide. Felt weary all afternoon.Went down memory lane by viewing old paintings again. Then the urge came for the start on a new tool. Finishing touch this morning.

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The inner child

We started talking about the last Aluna Joy message. From there we came to the blue tool I had made but could not get to the meaning of it up to now. To get a good picture of it my coach looked into my blog to find it but every time landed on the post about the seal. During the session it got clear why. Finally she came to the blue tool. Now the flow started and it was like a tremendous water fall – unstoppable.

We had to start with the seal. I had it positioned on the inner child table and that was the right place for it to be. Had to take it. And the blue tool. How is motherhood? “I’m the mother of my inner child and always was and I’ve a wonderful tool made of it.” I repeated.

I had to hold it together with the seal and my belly got very heavy.

“Thats right but there is a little part of the adapted inner child that has not grown. This part is preventing you from getting your energy flowing and trusting your intuition. This part has to grow up. What would you say to it.?” ” First that is why I put the seal on the inner child table and sealed it with Lapis Lazuli.The adapted child part I will tell that everything is okay now and that the time has come to go further as a grown up person. Childhood is over. If there is something the inner child want to tell me that’s okay but it does not has to. Everyday reassurance will help too.”  Thus this is the reason I had to finish the seal with the lapis lazuli. Suddenly I knew that this part is laying in the top of the motherhood tool.

I also remembered a case I read about in the book of Dolores Cannon.

The case was a female healer who consulted Dolores for her problems with her knees among other things. A big energy entered the room and explained to both that this is the energy the healer channel when working with patients and that this energy contact the unconscious to work together on insight and healing. The painful knees are due to the fact that the healer is afraid of the big energy. “So maybe my knee problems come from the same fear?” I asked and the answer was yes. The grown-up woman and the inner girl are confident, happy and curious to work with this energy and often surprised about what develops but the inner adapted boy part is not.  As a child I maybe was clairvoyant and therefore so afraid of the dark and nobody to talk too. ” Those talents you have of channeling this energy and being clairvoyant are very old.” Here the non signaled that she was connected to this too. Simultaneously I remembered two family constellations with all this as theme I had in France in 2003 during a soul week there. ” There also is violated trust in people who made you go away to rather talk to animals and plants.”

“How to go further now?”  “magnesium muriaticum can help and you have to hold the mothertool and look THROUGH the blue tool and that will make all flow, your heavy belly too.

” I hope that I get this all straighten out before I die and done my work that I’m supposed to do this time around.” “You simply will not die until you did.” she laughed.

There I got the urge to ask about my guide I know the name of for so long and how he look like. I told her the name and ….laughter…. “So that is the energy that is with me since I’m talking to you. Yes the name you know is right and he looks like you were described by that psychic you knew.” my coach said. That was the moment when I burst into tears – so glad that he is there helping to get everything clear. She let me cry. “There is a lot empathy coming from him towards you. He says you have to be patient, a part of you is so impatient. ” Thats right, I answered, I will do better.”  “The medical sports training is okay but the trainer is awful.”  “Keep sporting but switch trainer.”  “I need the male trainer for the inner boy part to grow up.” “Yes.”  “What about loosing weight?”  “That will happen when getting the adapted inner boy part to cooperate.”

Here the flow stopped and the session finished. I feel intense happiness although it was a long session and, as I said, a waterfall of information. The new road finally is unfolding.

Maybe the next influential event is the New Moon Solar Eclipse on February 15. The Inside Degree says:

AQUARIUS 27
A man laying stones for a path.
If vision and practical skills are brought into a place beyond either one, new worlds can come into being. Tenacity is the key. You have to see the pattern, inscribe the pattern, and let it set collectively. For when you are out ahead of everybody else, you must master the craft of timing in this Earth. Everything is perfect in the right time and place and awful when out of sync. Contained within yourself is the blueprint for the future; you need to season and temper the extraordinary forefront awareness with life-experience, and discover the intricacies of the cultural landscape. A mission pursued, a task taken on with a vengeance. A destiny that stands out and speaks volumes.

Pillow Devil

Had some painful crusts on my left ear shelf so I had to see the dermatologist. He concluded that it was chondrodermatitis nodularis helices. Popularly in dutch its called Kussenduiveltjes which means pillow devils. Suiting, because you only feel them when laying on your pillow on the ear.

After the treatment with nitrogen, I got a leaflet with info about the pillow devils and what might happen in case they has to be removed by an operation. I have to wait four weeks to see if they fall off by the nitrogen.

The folder explained: usually men get pillow devils. Among the women who got this condition were a lot of telephonists and NUNS …….

I laughed when coming to NUNS because I immediately thought about my two past life’s as a nun, especially the one in France in 1756 in Bretagne Kérity Abbaye de Beauport,which ended in me being murdered.

Felt some guilt because of the laughter – I have to respect the nun I once was. So I took the healing tool made when healing those life’s and I apologize to the nun of that time. Even my eyes were affected by this and for several minutes I couldn’t open them…..

It came to me, that the pillow devils are a clean-up of the nun’s trauma like the skin cancer in my neck was the clearance of the life’s in which I have been hanged, throat slit etc. That is how the body get rid of healed traumatic experiences in past life’s after they are healed on energetic level.

Dragon

A new message from Aluna Joy came in this morning: http://www.alunajoy.com/2016-aug-11.html

Passages that are meant for you will crystallize themself.

The past at least two years my drive was certainly gone and I kind a hang in there, and honestly a lot of computer & games besides doing my path cleaning work and the volunteer work. In the Aluna Joy message I found:

It is important that we hold back our energy until it is the right time to leap; but it is not quite time to do so just yet. So if you have been feeling bad about yourself, because you haven’t been doing your spiritual work as before, and you have been chowing down on pints of Ben and Jerry’s, bingeing on TV, etc . . . , it is probably because you are getting really close, and you need to pull the reigns back a bit. It is not time . . . YET!

I had a dream quite some time ago that my horse gladly wanted to get out of the stable and run but when I gave in we almost felt into a big hole in the street…..

Back in the 90’s I had contact with a psychic lady who already told me this:

What the Star Elders have shown me is that we will wake up one morning, and we will be there.


and something for the Chinese dragon lady I am.

AND . . . today we received a new template . . . the magical dragon’s egg . . . to fill the empty space

During the past weekend, I had the idea to watch this two movies I have: DragonHeart and DragonHeart New Beginnings – with a young dragon hatched from the egg found in the cave of the dragon from DragonHeart…..

My heart is joyfully beating while digesting the message. Suddenly there was an insight about two tools I have waiting for so long at both sides of my sofa. The two belong to this new beginning and the latest tool also – got through me.

I feel happy with it and joyful so its right.

The Marriage

This morning, while doing actually really nothing, inspiration hit. I went to the shed were my branches are stalled and chose a long bamboo branch. Already since January 6, 2018 a big Yellow Pine Cone was waiting to be used. Suddenly I knew that the two had to be connected. The Yellow Pine Cone has a hollow room I filled with wood plaster and set it on the bamboo branch. When taking a photo for the process I asked myself why those two and went searching. Not really surprising the outcome: it’s the manifestation of yesterdays healing of the right leg.

Botanical: Pinaceae sp.
Planetary Associations: Mars, Pluto, Sun
Element: Earth, Air & Fire
Gender: Masculine
Tarot: Emperor
The pine cone is an emblem of Zeus and Artemis, Jupiter and Venus. Sacred to the Druids, the pine was known as one of the Seven Chieftain Trees of the Irish. It lends itself to male sexual energy which has been removed from the procreative purpose. This sacred tree is ideal for those men seeking to bring their sexual drive under control and channel it toward sacred goals. The large cones are actually the female cones.The essential oil is also a great scent for those who do dragon magick, as the fast-burning pine is associated with dragons in China, where these magical creatures are especially esteemed.more about Pine here

BAMBOO = Like a self-cultivated scholar in hermitage, it is ready to render services when called upon
Since the bamboo lasts through all seasons, it is frequently associated with pine and plum as the “Three Winter Friends.” The bamboo is considered a gentleman with perfect virtues. It combines upright integrity with accommodating flexibility; it has the perfect balance of grace and strength, or the Yin and the Yang, bamboo symbolize the spirit of integrity and loyalty. more about Bamboo here

I suppose you see why those two had to be connected. Yin & Yang, Male & Female, together for a higher purpose and the opening to a new life.

Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world. – John Muir

 

 

 

UPDATE

Here the actual stage of the new tool.Done with acrylic color, decorfin and decorfin patina antique effect. The latter is drying very slowly. The tool is not finished yet.

UPDATE

Finally ready and dry.

Today I got a special present – a cranio sacral therapy at http://www.craniohoofddorp.nl/.

For more then two months now, I have quarrels with my legs. During several medical examinations nothing was found to explain the pain. I started working with my walking-tool again.

When meditating with the tool I really feel my legs walking and of late I also feel my arms moving – it’s like a fit person is taking a brisk walk. Made me cry because my earthly legs have so much pain. Yesterday my medical sports training started – oh boy oh boy. The past night, under the new moon, I almost did not sleep because the pain was tremendous. Today the craniosacral therapy.

After laying down, Mrs. Beschoor-Plug straighten me out because I was not laying totally straight. “I’m a bit off-balance, I said, I think that is what you see.” “Yes and I feel it too.”she answered. The treatment started and the place to be, of course, finally were my legs. At first I felt some sort of opening above my left hip that went on for quite some time. My right leg went into pain and old shaman healings flew through my mind.It was a long treatment but to make a long story short: at a certain moment Mrs. Beschoor-Plug worked in the hollow at the back of my right knee. Pain went worse and I heard her say: “I’m working in a switch here, its like a switch I have to turn back to ‘on ‘.” Slowly the pain lessened. The rest of the body was fine after examination and nothing else had to be done.

Over the years so much healings had to be done on that leg…now obviously the time has come it can move again properly. Walked home as on egg shells – I indeed have to learn to walk again – the third time in my life. First time as a youngster, second time after my hip operations when 19 and now being 65.   Wonderous !

UPDATE January 18: The same time I had the leg pains I had pain at my left ear. That finally was diagnosed as chondrodermatitis nodularis helicis – which is called Pillow Devils popularly. Doctors don’t know yet what causes this, but striking is that more men than women get it. Among the women who get them are mostly telephonists and Nuns …. coming to this conclusion I had to laugh because suddenly I had to think about my two past life’s in monastery’s as a nun. Those life’s did not end very well, in the second one I was even murdered. Now I made the connection to yesterday’s healing because of the work done above the hip on the left side of my body. My conclusion is, that the pillow devils are a clearing off those two life’s as a nun like the operation in 2016 in my neck was the clearing off past life’s too. The feminine side can be lived now.

 

The last two nights I dreamed that I have to save and move my golden hearts energy. The 2nd night my inner man and woman were working together in this. He was moving the gold and when attacked the woman stepped in with some yellow tools. This morning I had the following message in my mail you can read at http://www.alunajoy.com/2016-aug-6.html (open with SHIFT for not leaving my blog)

It took a while to read the text but when almost at the end it got easier. Two of my tools came to mind. One I made with the August eclipse 2017 and one I made quite some years ago. If my understanding of the text is correct those two tools together are the symbols of it.

The left one is the grand opening you can read here
and the right one is the rooting of the heart. I found the branch precisely as it is now – I only cleaned it, gave it color and initiated it.

When you read the message from Aluna not every word is necessary. What is meant for you, you see and you get that tickling feeling underneath your throat. Than you know that it is your passage to read. Strip away unnecessary stuff. Also it is necessary to realize, that not everyone has a golden heart energy. Your personal heart energy might be different and has another color. Your heart energy suit your souls assignment in this life and the stage of your souls development up to now.

UPDATE

The article of ALUNJOY definitely caused a break through.The tools mentioned above are suiting my process initiated by the message. I feel like learning to walk again and trust my intuition more and more. And I learn to trust on the fact that my creations somehow sometimes are made for times far in the future like the tools of lately and the seal and the heart root I made years ago. The path work started again and will continue with a new appointment with my coach February, 1st .

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