Archive for the ‘healing’ Category


As I wrote in My Easter Junction April was a month of heavy pain which was gone by Easter Sunday. Followed by my legs who are not in the mood. My coach sent mail that I had to wait until May 17 for my appointment. The days after the mail I learned via different sources, for example Jessica Adams and Nadia Gilchrist, that May 17th was the start of an energy vortex and a portal for spiritual guidance until Sunday 21.

The tool of April was the main course during our conversation.

Use what happens to your advantage near Wednesday 17th May…..

Jessica Adams

Don’t miss out on what can be an extraordinary window! Make an extra effort and take definitive action to build the next step towards a life more authentic.

Crystal Pomeroy

The tool opened all old wounds of my youth and life at once together with anger how I was treated by my parents and others. The anger is released now – it was the unconscious trigger for a lot of self-sabotage. My hip dysplasia, the operation back than and how my father forced me to walk with crochets through the woods. His motto – don’t complain – walk. I was born with small hips. My mothers potty training and the fact that I could walk when 9 months old caused the dysplasia. All the pressure to grow quicker than possible resulted in unconscious survival mode: no one ever will force me to do something. I will not walk. When human beings are forced to do things to early in life atychiphobia is born. Talked about this some days ago with @NatureRunsWild on Twitter. This all together blocked everything around the hips.

During the session I had to hold the tool and feel if and where pain would arise. Flight modus between the shoulder blades – know that and also how to prevent it. My stomach started again, some fear.The coming days I have to meditate with the tool and feel old pain and release into the ground. After each meditation a brisk walk in my own rhythm to unlock the blockage on walking forward. No more pressure, not even by myself . I can let go and trust my intuition, although I am still a bit afraid of doing so due to the scars from former life’s.

When no pain come up any more the next tool has to be invoked – one of these…..

There was a message with a hint delivered yesterday. When I woke up, the living room and my plants were full of ants. Nature and animals are messengers of what can be expected or has to be done.

See ants in the house meaning – in dutch.




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Living in the city is a risk factor. It’s worth while to listen to the speech of psychiatrist Mazda Adli.

TEDxspeach Mazda Adli here

My own experience in this was huge. Back in 2003 I spend one week at Marmonfosse in France
Located on a mountain in the middle of nature. No noise except the sound of the wind in the trees and the sounds of animals such as all kind of birds. I often sat outside during the night – a breath-taking experience. No lights – only the night sky with millions of stars in the city you never see due to the fact there it is never really dark. Owls call through the forest, fire flies danced and on the background the murmur of the rippling water of the well.

After 3 days some of the group needed some stuff and we decided to drive to the nearest city. The energy there felt overwhelming in every way, although it was not a very big city.

I suppose, you can only feel the difference when being in nature for several days. We did our shopping as quick as possible and drove back to Marmonfosse.

When at home again, it took me a week to get adjusted to city life despite the fact that Hoofddorp, where I live, is not really thát big. To me, it is absolutely necessary to have a garden to reduce stress levels.

Of course, as with all and everything in life, how and to which level one react to stress factors in the city depends on one’s stamina, personality and DNA.

Brain activity when being in nature here – in dutch

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My Easter Junction

Just stumbled upon the next week horoscope by Nadia Gilchrist . The first thing that rang a bell was this part:

Also on April 20th (this is a big day)Mercury Rx retreats into Aries a few hours after it conjoins the Sun. New insight that you unearth can be applied to an initial impulse/conversation that first sparked around March 30th.

That was the day I found the root .

The next paragraph that hit me was:

However, also on April 21st we have the final square between Venus in Pisces and Saturn Rx in Sag. So you will be dealing with painful limits that have been around since April 8th.

That was the day I initiated the root-tool  and an awful week started.

From that day on I struggled with heavy pain around the diaphragm, back pain and an outrageously beating heart. Could not eat much, sit long, had to move around to bear the pain or lay down repeatedly. There is really something around core wounding going on, working in layers but I still cannot nail down the concrete issue.

Some relieve came with the Tuina Massage with acupuncture I decided to undergo all of a sudden. Some pain areas disappeared the next day and the diaphragm slowly recovered. Each night I slept 13 hours for 7 days in a row.

Yesterday, on Holy Saturday,  I was feeling a bit better and could eat normally. Today, Easter Sunday Morning, for the first time in days, I feel okay.

Remarkable fact, at least to me, with the initiation of the tool was, that I had to sit down while doing it. Finally I had to cross myself three times with the tool.

The cross – the symbol of the Holy Week. The cross also is the sign for the total human with spirit – as above so below – so left so right.


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Black Swan

Reading two books simultaneously lately, today I choose to continue The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Not an easy read sometimes. Not feeling thát well today, my head wasn’t fully in to it. Arriving at page 45 out of 403 ( with notes and literature 479) suddenly there was a voice in my head with the question

“What is a practical part for me at this particular time?”

Closed the book and concentrated on this question. Than opened it at a random spot. First reaction was laughter when seeing the header of the chapter I landed, followed by : Yeah, that’s right indeed!

Learning from Mother Nature, the oldest and wisest

long slow walks

I love Nature but I hate slow long walks alone, although this is precisely what I need. My very own Black Swan.

Suiting todays astrological weather.

With the Sun coming up to a square to Saturn on March 17, we may be struggling to put our faith into action. http://empoweringastrology.com/

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Finally the unconditional wealth assemblage is complete and radiating. Not only on the wall but also inside of me. Today the last additions.The following additions were made and placed into the right spot: the inner boy with the inner manthe inner boy is placed into the inner man.The hollyhok root is placed upon the coins, I dreamed of around 2005, in the middle of the composition.Then finally a tool I made approximately around 2003, which was the last touch to it all: the inner woman finally stepping on land with courage. Mission accomplished – an old talent from former life’s is healed and pure. To make clear how it works:

all unconditional wealth – energy in the pure heavenly context is the painting to the left in the composition. From there my personal angle starts with my inborn bliss and the position of my Jupiter – placed next to the painting. From there the stream is going to the coins – a new kind of wealth I dreamed of. Brought into working by the male energy who is now connected to the healed inner boy and down to earth – the painting to  the right. My inner woman and child have found the courage to finally leave the eternal waters to set foot on land. Altogether they can manifest the unconditional wealth in life.

To find your manifestation of unconditional wealth make contact to the painting on the left and feel.

The last days, I met a lot of people who are wealth-people or have lessons to learn around or are afraid of wealth in some form. Unconditional wealth can be money, power, leadership, knowledge, intuition, health, love, friendship and more. The energy just is one of the energy’s of the Universe and there is nothing wrong with it – what people do with it makes the difference. Use it well for the good of all or abuse it for own purposes only.




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Two weeks ago a dried root of a hollyhock called out to me to be the next tool. Took it inside where it waited another 2 days before the inspiration hit. When finished, I laid her into the practice room to wait for the right moment to be initiated. Today was the day. While channeling the right energy into the tool, it came to me, that she is the counterpart/partner of the last tool I made. After the initiation I merged the other tool with the root.

A new pair is born. today6


Medical: hollyhock make immune to all diseases, herbal medicine considers the leaves as a remedy for urinary system, such as bladder and lung diseases such as bronchitis. Further the root would help with wounds, burns, boils and skin ulcers, and internally with intestinal inflammation, stomach ulcers, diaphragm cracks and urinary tract and bladder infections. (Ody 1993)
A companion on the road, similar to the ‘self’ coming aside the “I”. http://www.kalab.nl

a positive influence to the garden and white magic.





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It’s going on and on – stuff that come my way for closure. Now a book – the tip came from Carin v/d Hem via Twitter. The title: Neptune – the 12th house and Pisces by Maurice Fernandez. The only thing you need is your Natal Chart to see where you have Neptune and in what sign. Further what aspects it has with other planets. nepIf there may be new information you get me going. With my and my children’s natal charts I looked up all houses, signs and aspect. After that I started reading – first mine. What came along was not new in the sense of ‘never ever heard of it – me ? ‘ but, with growing astonishment,  all I have been through during my life, in relationships, with my children and what I learned during my inner journey everything EVERYTHING.

Sickness and relationship quarrels, how I grew up, how I felt back than and more. Absolutely correct in every way and showing the roots. Couldn’t stop reading. After all was read about myself I started with the children. Same experience – exactly how they were, what they have gone through until now, childhood problems, school problems, health, psyche, relationships. One son often exchange with me how he is doing and feeling, sometimes depressed. I send him his Neptune info and for the first time he, who always reject reading and does not love reading, gave me a call about it and told me that this was great and he read it all. I went to bed late and it took quite some time before I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up with a lot of pain from neck down to under the shoulder-blades.Every day this sinks down a bit as if all the old is falling off.  Today I realized what I mastered over the years regarding where I started from. I used to say ‘I moved the Alps ‘and without exaggerating I did. At first it is some shock to read all of it in one piece while I mastered it in 64 years and deep diving since 1994. Now I’m proud that I did, there is compassion with the child I once was and love in my heart. I can let go of it all with a big sigh – finally. The heavy and worst is over and healed.

The book show your innocent paradise-perception meeting real life experience and the fear that arouses. Like Adam and Eve stumbled out of Paradise seeing the real world and themselves for the first time – the naked truth. The book also show the steps out of trouble, your fake tune, wrong perception and fear getting back a more realistic true innocence. Even this ‘ getting back your innocence’ came along years ago in family constellation work.

The inner journey is more adventurous and fascinating than even a jungle journey on foot, better than every movie or book and with a real world happy ending. This happy ending come when you’re taking one step at a time with new found valor, courage, and self-discipline. You start feeling better about yourself and your life, quarrels lessen, your health improve and relationships are changing and more loving and light-footed. Your true calling and new skills are found.

The book came right in time before the eclipse and full moon 10/11 February when we all close a door. The Chandra Symbol for the eclipse:

LEO 22
An alligator swims slowly through a swamp.
Imperious self-command. The self, entirely conscious of its own territorial rights and privileges, exerts a presence, a force. Saturating the atmosphere with one’s love, light, and intensity. Big and bright, deep and formidable. So very purposive that your every breath is conceived to be part of the master plan. Grandiose and inflated, yet into something so essential that it is very difficult to go against. It is the ingrained aura of spiritual authority and cosmic intent, linked with the heights, seeping into the depths. You become so enduring and insistent that others back out of the picture. Graphic demonstration of being here now in your element, doing what you need to do. Sinuous, suggestive, sensuous, and somewhat prone to pushing it a bit. The inner light upheld at the cost of any and all extraneous factors.

I realized that I once painted Neptune – the Nep (fake) tune about our-self.


The end of Hope and the start of the Truth – a painful experience but an enlightening one.





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