Archive for the ‘healing’ Category

Out of jail

Looked up what the theme is for the drawing challenge #A_PRIL on Twitter for Monday and its time-out. Immediately I had a picture in mind of breaking free from the time, jail surroundings and a massive chain with an iron ball, time broken too… How to draw this? Cannot, can do, cannot, postponing the thing at the end.

Back to Twitter were now I found the upcoming week by Lorna Bevan

The following words hit bottom because of my picture of broken time and free out of jail:

the birth pangs of the new zeitgeist …. in 2019 – 2020 you are being handed the biggest get-out-of-jail free, cosmic pass of your entire life…..the old, the atrophied and the akashic dross is eliminated…..Chandra Symbol for Full Moon LIBRA 30° :A black rooster

In a split second the picture was clear in all details. You see a bar code and for your information – there is something like being born with your own bar code as I happened to find during my inner journey. So instead of jail house bars a bar code with some of my personal numerological numbers. And, of course, the black rooster I drew a few weeks ago already with no reason. So here is my time-out-jail-house-break which is kind of personal too. It’s done -> figuratively and literally spoken.

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During a drawing challenge on Twitter the theme POVERTY came along.

Poverty has many faces and a lot of different roots in our consciousness. I had a few angles with the theme too causing hazardous circumstances. During the inner journey I even came across the knowledge that my family name is carrying the energy of poverty.

When coming around this point of view I remembered the life long enmity between my father and his brother-in-law. My uncle always called him cracker or pauper who married a wealthy woman because my mother had the house. As a matter of fact, my father worked his ass off and studied simultaneously. He turned around his fate, we had it all. On the inside my father never turned around his poverty – meaning his lack of self-worth and unhappiness. Mother managed everything.

Took me quite some time myself to turn around what was imprinted from home. You can call your child a princess and give her everything but without teaching her the ways of money handling and earning its useless. Lack of Self-worth and other unconscious hurdles has to be seen. I turned around a lot of things and can close the door to poverty for good.

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I got the flu right after the third treatment at the chiropractor. The coughing is the worst in that and today I had the feeling that I choke. When everything was back to ‘ normal ‘ I had the urge to paint the follow up of the green one in my previous post.

I’m curious what will come to front with this one.


PS April, 8: yesterday evening I suddenly saw that the boat,  in the green painting up on the right, is back in the picture. Its bigger, two people in it and a captain with a light…


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Eyes closed & go

For two days there was a lot of pain around the pelvis. Today it was tremendous. Every movement was painful except standing on two feet. Crying out loud, took some pills, nothing. So I called the physician and, my luck, her training group didn’t show up so she had time to take care of my pelvis region.

Today we also have storm and I had to bike to the physician. That was painful too and for a part I walked, bike at hand. Her treatment was hell but this had to be done. Afterwards some mild exercise and, oh joy, the pain lessened. It’s not gone but bearable and I can move better en more.

Getting home I had to paint. Thinking of the words of @finenschnabel, see https://www.finenwerk.com/ , I did the painting with eyes closed as I also do with clients. Colors, brushes, everything is chosen with eyes closed and you paint with eyes closed.

Today is also the day Uranus changes sign and I think that had to do with it all too. So here the paintings and the, as I read on Twitter a few days ago, cheap color stuff….

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Had an ultrasound done on my knee. I wanted to know if there is something else going on the X-ray does not show. Had to pay it myself. Looked at the screen while the physician was busy. Suddenly, almost in the middle of the knee something like a dolphin came.When I said something about it he admitted that this spot indeed looks like a dolphin. Unfortunately I did not get a print. For the rest, the pain comes due to the edema which narrows the place of the meniscus. The dolphin in the knee – fascinating. Today I tried to draw what I saw on the ultrasound.

Last year I made a tool with the energy of knee and it looks like what I saw on the ultrasound and tried to draw.

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Just two articles by Nina Elshof , crossed my path. They both shed more light on the element wood. Wood is my personal element because I’m a 3-4-4 person in Fengshui.

family and element wood

element wood as solution

Family is your root system you came from. Family can be a blessing or hell and all in between. Born into the family system, as a child, you live by the rules of this system. Believe it or not, this system is a perfect mirror of traits you also carry. Looking into the mirror can be devastating and some of the traits you then want to change. All humans are born to develop and change what no longer serve.

Family is the square to stability, change put it all into the spiral of ever ongoing change. Bloodlines can never be broken – that is true. Nevertheless within families there are always some members called the black sheep.

I had an uncle nobody spoke of. I cannot remember how I found the man but I did when I was around 10 years old or so. He was a very nice man, had a lovely wife and, most important to me, he was a musician. Back then he gave me a clarinet as a present. When I came home all hell broke loose because I found and visited the man. Nobody would answer my questions about WHY on earth he was the black sheep. 40 years later I found that the clarinet is my instrument. Unfortunately that clarinet was gone.

I had a hard time to detach from the family. The best action ever was to sell the house where 3 generations lived their conflicts. Up to now nine re-locations followed and I still have not found the final destination.

                                                                      charlie mackesy

When my own children were born all I learned in the family system came back and I did my best to change their ways into mine. Took years of learning, psychologically, by books, in groups and with family constellation work. Every new thing was implemented gladly.

Of course there is more to the equation. Each child has his/her own package and experienced family life different. With three of them there are quarrels. I keep in mind that blood lines never break and maybe, some day…..

There also is the fact, that one can have two family’s. Some souls are supposed to find their soul family, other than the own family. Above this, a soul can be born into a family because the soul has karmic obligations to one or both of the parents. When the obligation is fulfilled, the child may break with the family of origin for all time despite the blood lines. Experienced this too.

We need the square to live our life, that is matter, earth,  but if you stay in square only and forever, you dig yourself a rut. Change is the only way to live your life in a happy and healthy way. Living square make the body sick in the end. You need heaven and earth. Even in this context there are two possibility’s: you are a square person, only interested in the material world or a person who only live in ether. Both miss the other end of the rope. Therefore the only complete human is the one Leonardo Da Vinci draw – here in a suitable version because change till eternity like time goes on and on…..


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Church Rules

Maybe you remember the Pillow Devils. Had them removed by operation and on the left they came back again. Should have known what was going on but I was completely occupied with my legs, above all the left one and the knee. For a year I was sent from doctor to doctor, to physiotherapist to finally the pain specialist because nothing changed and I got different diagnosis. I called it diagnosis bingo. The pain consultant send me for more examination to a specialized physiotherapist and an edema therapist. The first one measured the leg, looked at the difference with the right leg, concluded inflammation in the knee due to edema. The edema therapist concluded, after one look, that there was partial lip edema. The leg got taped in a special way and I have to see a specialized physiotherapist/edema therapist for treatment. In the meantime the pillow devils on the left ear got treated as well.Informed my general practitioner about the diagnosis after 1 year of not being helped and he asked for an appointment.

To my surprise he said: ” In April the dermatologist already mailed me about the partial lip edema.” ” I know nothing about lip edema, and you sent me to all the other doctors.” I got angry. “Then you have to talk to the dermatologist. he answered, this is not my fault.” I called the dermatologist and he wanted to talk about it personally. Called my coach to tell her about this new circumstances. She just wanted to call me too about a new appointment. this was planned right before the conversation with the dermatologist. And now fasten seat belt – here it comes.

The pillow devils back again thus the nun, I was in more than one life, is still in action and a negative influence on the edema and partial lip edema. The church imprint about guilt and repentance.She has the conviction that life is all about guilt and repentance. All the work for growth, new insights and cleaning old harm and wounds – her idea of repentance. Due to her working in my energy field I still toss around my own “guilt” around the faults I made in this life. It all has to go and so will the water in my body. She also has the conviction that if she let go of the guilt and repentance scenario I will loose the connection to my “good” part, the knowledge of the soul and all I gained in past life. So now I’m convincing her about this new view for 3 days in a row already. The pain on the left side ear diminished already. the conversation with the dermatologist went very well. He apologized and will change a few things around the handling of edema patients. The info I got around lip edema gave some extra insights. Hormones are part of the puzzle. When pregnant with my first two children, girls, I had the same problems. And lip edema is also hereditary. All the women on both sides had legs like tree trunks… Good action would be swimming – will do next year. Also acupuncture is recommended because my body reacts better to alternative treatments.

Suiting also the text for the Full Moon . The more because my personal profile is 3-4-4 so finally the grown up wood coming to action.

Next thing is, that I still carry the war experiences of parents and grand parents. But thirst things first.



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