Archive for the ‘healing’ Category

Today another coaching hour for myself. After one week with enormous heart rate when I thought my heart and head would explode. A second week with the start of new volunteer work that actually is real fun because by doing it, I can help people to get their new start.

In the meantime I already had seen an article from empoweringastro.com where the connection of the upcoming New Moon with the August eclipse was mentioned. I made a tool that eclipse day. And this tool took center stage today, figuratively and literally. And an article came along on Twitter about Pluto in the natal chart .

But first things first. Pluto in my natal chart is in the 6th house. So what came up in the beginning of our conversation was about sickness and what this mean for me. It’s all about loosing control – my fear of sickness mingled with a last little bit of my wish to go to heaven again. Sickness as a sign that something needs attention and not as a guilt trip. My feeling about the maybe-explosion of my big heart was not far-fetched – the ongoing transformational journey now has reached the next stop: my heart. To let everything flow into the high heart – taking responsibility for my SELF.  Now the tool.

I had to hold it. The day I made it and when I initiated it, because of its length, it looked like an old-fashioned crutch.

There is an old saying: ‘ walking with your soul under your arm ‘ and that is the top shell with the gold in it on top of the tool. The three small ones – I had to feel it – they are my parents and my grandmother, now supporting me in my quest and I have to take them in with love because they gave me life. Here the message came that the three are really over to the other world now and therefore able to send positive energy finally.” So after all it’s a crutch in some way. Hold the tool.” I took it into my left hand, closed my eyes and there it was – not under my arm to be positioned but in front of me, right in the middle. ” It’s my spine and the curve is precisely underneath my heart and if I turn it around the curve goes right into my heart.” “That’s it, my coach said, the energy has to come into flow to your heart and not be blocked anymore, taking full responsibility for your souls’ journey, yourself and love yourself in all that you are.  By the way – I had to say out loud that I am proud about myself and what I managed to heal…..was not easy.

What can help the process is Plantain

Plantain grew massive around the Municipality planter I’m gardening. My neighbors thought of it as weeds and it had to go….The latin name of the plantain is plantago lanceolata. Lancelot who fought for love and whose name meaning in celtic is son of fate.

That all was the drive to bring man and woman together in their new home: my golden heart.

Let’s keep one eye on November 20. That’s when the Sun in its last day of Scorpio squares the degree of that big total solar eclipse of August that crossed America from ‘…sea to shining sea’ at 29º Leo. These are trigger points releasing over time more of that reset energy. If you have planets at 29º of most signs, you will feel the effect most strongly. New Moon November, 18

Inside degree for LEO 29
A broken sword.
Consecration to a higher power. The giving-over of the personal will–the marvel of root change. Coming to the end of your own path, and it is just the beginning of the greater way. The heart must open. The infinite must be born inside. The destiny-necessity is there–so much karmic backlog. So many ways to be right and to be wrong. The realization in the very midst that there is nobody listening to the old tale and everybody is awaiting somebody else to come through. A profound and utter doorway into a great unknown. What has been is finished. What shall be is so very different. And what is now is a question and a prayer and a destiny that must find its redemption.


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At Crossroads

working on the heart center the past weeks

today biking to our best florist in town

to order a bouquet for a colleague who suffer from cancer

there I found a turmeric fruit

turmeric which is healing for the heart and cancer & so much more

right before the crossroads of October 10th

by finding the turmeric fruit I could write according to the writing feathers of Hella Kuipers for October 9 .


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Today was full of action due to endless telephone calls, mails, a coaching session and, of course, a treatment by Annelies Beschoor-Plug. But first things first.

The coaching session: We both started short of breath so a calm start was necessary. First we talked about the last treatment by Annelies and the tool I made about this. I told her about my decision for no operation gall bladder and what good information I’ve got from my general practitioner. During my conversation with him he also said that his concern was more about the steadily rising alkaline phosphatase info in dutch

In short the alkaline phosphatase works on your bones. A high level is normal after a fracture but not when nothing is broken. End of October another blood test to see if the rising is still going on. Then a visit to an internist will be necessary to see what the reason is. When talking about the bones, the session really started. Problems with bones have a deep-rooted, inherited angst of deficiency, hard to believe it ever will be okay. There is often a deep despair with bitterness and disappointment as result. This also can affect the liver and gall bladder.

This all rang a bell because I often hear myself say “it’s all useless!” As a matter of fact one of the angles Neptune make in my birth chart has to do with this angst for deficiency in each and every way. In younger years I had an enormous storage room full with everything you possibly might need and an enormous loaded freezer. The money shortage of the past years also a result of this. It feels like running a maze, a hamster in a hamster wheel and not seeing the way out.There has to be a positive mantra: All will work out just fine!

As I wrote in a previous blog I have to work with this Triangle.

Until now with no success. I also put my ocean jasper into the Triangle – a good move.

Now when sitting in front of the Triangle I have to hold my anti-pain – tool which works on the legs with the theme of going towards a new future.

Fun fact – more or less – : I’m playing Candy Crush and for weeks now I wasn’t able to get through a certain level because I don’t play on Facebook so one can buy extra things. And also while trying to get through I repeatedly said: it’s useless. After the session I mastered the level…. 🙂 I got the telephone call that I was accepted as worker at ‘home administration’ from https://www.meerwaarde.nl where people in financial trouble can get help. It’s volunteer work. I’m good in creating order in chaos.

There is a homeopathic remedy for this theme of deficiency. In the afternoon a good treatment by Annelies Beschoor-Plug.

Hoped for some rest, peace and quiet afterwards but no way. I had to sign a lot of papers coming in by mail as curator for my client. Part of all the sudden rush during this day maybe is the finally forward motion again of Pluto.Live is on the move again too. Off the maze!!

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The Wound

Tuesday I had another session with Annelies Beschoor-Plug, the psychosomatic physiotherapist. Her right hand underneath me on my back where you see the red spot.

Her left hand went along my left side like the line I drew on the painting.

Very painful. At a certain point, I heard her saying: ” It’s empty here now, come back here.” I noticed that all my attention was at her hand on my back. I did not feel a hand but like this

The red spot is our backdoor – a central point were our nerves come together and on energetic level it’s the door the soul enters her home the heart. If you happen to experience something nasty, painful et cetera, you may feel itching at this spot. Than you try to escape threw the back-door. Annelies locked this with her hand. My being was trying to get out. I felt panic and I was short of breath. Along the black line, you see on the painting, it felt as if there was a wall, the entrance to a cave. The whole afternoon, after this session, I was panicking and short of breath.

Wednesday all of a sudden I felt more alive and stronger in my legs then quite some time. I had a lot to do and everything could be done fast. The afternoon a sleepy energy and I went to bed early.

Today my next session. Her hand on my back but more in the area of the stomach. This time the hand felt like a plug to prevent something from leaking. The other hand, again, alongside the line. Some minutes past before the pain set in, razor-sharp, like a knife was cutting everything open. The rest of the area seemed to be shuffled all to the right because there suddenly I felt a heavy mountain. An energetic operation was taking place. The sewn tight spot got open, the mountain vanished and it was all over. We talked it through and Annelies had the same experience I had, a razor-sharp knife cutting ……

I know from my own healing work as a shaman that now I have to take good care of the wound. Biking home, no horses. Instead, at an old tree, I saw a branch precisely in the shape of the line of the cave. I already cleaned and colored it. Now its drying in the garden. First photo:

I will finish it today – that is my way of taking care of the wound and to manifest the healing.




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Found this  article from Nederlandse Hartstichting
on LinkedIn. Reading the story of a woman with almost the same pain symptoms as mine who also was first treated for stomach ailment made me think. The place to be in my case is also the heart as you can read in a previous post.

It is astonishing to see, that doctors jump to conclusions and concentrate on only one organ and decide in a wink for a maybe completely unnecessary operation. We all should think twice and ask for a second opinion before operation and/or medication. I surely will.

Update 27-09-2017

Today I saw another doctor and we had a good conversation about the gall bladder. He, like me, think that the gall bladder is not the root of the pains I had and where I had them. So my decision last week to cancel the operation was a good one.

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It’s rolling rolling – the inner process is on the move again. This afternoon I had a new appointment after 4 months processing and fermenting.All of the sudden, just before the appointment, I build a triangle with some of the latest shaman tools I had made and 2 older ones. Triangles work on a deep level with tools as well as with constellation work.

The first stop to be was, however, the painting ‘Connection on red’.

” It’s a face, two eyes and the mouth sewn up tight. Underneath that closed mouth, to the right, you see four persons, man & woman, boy & girl, cuddling for finally being together – but, after all, still in a closed spot. All you are and ever will be is closed in, suppressed.”

In my earthy body thus to the left where I have pain. There is a connection from there also to the third eye which, due to the sewn up tight spot, is broken and not able to see. Here is part of my old system working, that once enabled me to make my way through life: disappointment and bitterness = anger = fuel to run fast. I immediately said: ” That’s grandma, not mine!” “Yeah it’s partly grandma and you sorted that out but did not cut the connection.” my counselor said, “the rest is yours. You are disappointed and bitter about a lot of things.” “Not that strange. I cannot work the work I love and have to do, I do not get a job, I’m running almost out of money every month  and that is not going te be any better and so forth.” that part mumbled on before the tears finally got way. ” Breathe! Let it come! ‘No horse around….

Took some time before we could go any further. “The key here is to really see, all and everything that you were and now are. See the way you went in a positive way, there where a lot of good and funny things and from the hard things you learned a lot. Let it go that you must have a job. You have to do the work you came for. The creativity is to be lived no matter what people think. The connection work/money is not healthy. You do your work because you have to do this particular work, your soul work. About money you only think when doing the administration.”

From there we came to my psychosomatic physiotherapist. What came through is that she really can help and we already decided to work on the right spot: my heart. Tomorrow I have my next appointment with her.

My home work for the next two weeks: sitting in front of the Triangle every day without expectations (I’m not good at) with closed eyes and look and feel …..notice what comes up…. This is also activating the third eye. The part of me that just know what branch to take home and what to do with it will get more conscious. The Triangle has to stay where I build it, on the dining table,  not in the practice room.

My optimist and my humor are having a hard time.




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As I wrote, I suffer from various, sometimes heavy pain around the stomach, my back and the heart. Occasionally low back pain and my right knee is killing.

Worst, above all, is the stomach region and some pain I feel at the left flank and the last two ribs also left side. The doctor sent me to an ultrasound scan. There was nothing to be seen on the left but to the right – the gall bladder show some disorder and gall stones. No pain at all there. Despite this fact I was sent to the surgeon and within 5 minutes he decided the removal of the gall bladder. On my question about the importance of the organ for the body he only said: “No, it’s only a storage function.” Flabbergasted I left – I’m on the waiting list – “it’s a busy time right now! “ he said..

There is more to the equation in my point of view. Nothing in our body is of no importance. Every inch of our body has its function in the whole organism. So I started searching. First the fact that I am a wood-element-person.

Three Green Tree – element wood

A good person to see for fresh insights and new opinions. As their rising energy suggests, 3 Trees are very active. They like to explore and to choose their own path. The 3 Tree personality is honest to a fault and is, not always, as tactful as one may wish. But their adventurous spirit and their positive attitude can attract many people.
Three Tree is the energy of early Spring. Stored energy expanding out – Yang (masculine) moving towards yin (feminine). Therefore, 3 Tree women feel more comfortable, out-and-about in the world. They quickly adapt to the occasion.
Three Trees learn through experience. They can be good performers. Three Trees like to improve things and some are very inventive.

Positive Action: Active exploration, Flexibility, Striking a balance between self interests and social moray
Associated Organs: Liver, Gall Bladder & Muscles
Weaknesses: Organs associated with Soil and Metal energy.
Signs of Imbalance: Fear or Deceit.
text from 9 starki

You see that the associated organs are liver, gall bladder and muscles. Having difficulties there is a sign of imbalance. This year I am in the metal energy for the whole year. Metal shop wood – got the picture? In the following diagram you see what organs are associated with element metal: lungs and small intestines – nothing wrong there as far as I know.

Now remember the healing tool I made in April when all the pain started. It has the function to hold it in meditation, until the upcoming pain lessen, than start walking outdoors as a metaphor for leaving the old behind and strengthen my legs. This is also very grounding. Let’s have a look at the organs associated with element Earth: spleen and stomach. BINGO !

Coming to the next picture, you see the gall bladder meridian.

I marked, in red, all the regions I have pain and it is clear that I have to work on grounding and exercise more. The organs: liver, gall bladder, stomach and spleen work together and it is necessary to have them all in your body. I assume that there not necessarily has to be an operation…… More reason you find at the end of this blog in dutch.

original document

Milt en Maag (Aarde)

Zoals de Longen de bron zijn van de lucht Qi is de Milt de bron van het voedsel Qi. Samen vormen deze de Qi die ons lichaam voedt. De Milt helpt de Maag in het verteringsproces en de daarbij ontrokken voeding dient als basis in de productie van Bloed. Tevens onttrekt de Milt pure vloeistoffen aan het voedsel en stuurt deze naar de Longen ter bevochtiging. Gezien deze omzetting van voedsel in Qi, Bloed en pure vloeistoffen en samenwerking met de Maag wordt de Milt ook welgenoemd de Wortel van Postnataal Qi. Tevens is het duidelijk dat een gezonde werking van Milt en Maag onontbeerlijk is voor een gezonde spijsvertering en een overvloed aan fysieke energie. Het onvermogen van de Milt om voedsel om te zetten kan zich uiten in vermoeidheid na het eten, een volle of gespannen buik na de maaltijd, constipatie en diarree. Wanneer de vloeistoffen niet goed getransformeerd en etransporteerd kunnen worden dan geeft dit symptomen als dorst, problemen met de urinewegen en het vasthouden van vocht op verschillende plekken in het lichaam. Zoals reeds onder het Hart beschreven is, is de Milt betrokken bij de productie van Bloed. De Milt is er ook verantwoordelijk voor Bloed in de vaten te houden; bloedingen kunnen dus een gevolg zijn van een gebrekkige werking van de Milt. Spataderen worden ook aan een gebrekkige werking van de Milt toegeschreven. De Milt beheerst ons abstracte denkvermogen en ons vermogen tot concentratie. In geval van overbelasting van de Milt kunnen er concentratieproblemen ontstaan en malen in het hoofd. Te weinig lichaamsbeweging kan leiden tot een onbalans in de Milt, Maag en Dikke Darmmeridiaan en onbalans in deze meridianen kunnen leiden tot te weinig bewegen. In de Chinese geneeskunde kijkt iet naar wat er eerder was “de kip of het ei” maar naar wat men kan doen.


Zoals al onder de Milt beschreven zijn Maag en Milt verantwoordelijk voor de productie van voedsel Qi dat, eenmaal gecombineerd met de lucht Qi, onder andere wordt gebruikt om de andere organen te voeden. Dientengevolge resulteert een zwakke maag in verzwakte andere organen. De maag verteert het voedsel zodanig voor dat het door de Milt verder getransformeerd kan worden. De Maag staat niet alleen voor de vertering van ons fysieke voedsel maar ook van emotionele voedsel. Wanneer door fysieke of emotionele ondervoeding de Maagmeridiaan op jonge leeftijd beschadigd is dan kan dit resulteren in het onvermogen van de mens om voedsel te accepteren. Op fysiek niveau kan dit zich uiten als een geringe eetlust. Wanneer vanuit de geest voedsel wordt afgewezen dan ontstaan eetstoornissen als anorexia of boulimia die weer leiden tot een verminderde spijsverteringsfunctie. Deze mensen geven en geven maar aan anderen omdat ze zelf moeite hebben met ontvangen. Het zintuiglijke element van Aarde is de mond. Een stabiele Aarde geeft rust en een vruchtbare basis om te groeien. Wanneer we als kind of op een andere leeftijd onvoldoende veiligheid hebben ervaren dan raken we onvoldoende geaard. Ten aanzien van de mond kan dat zich uiten in een overdreven behoefte aan orale bevrediging zoals eten, kussen en roken. Een onbalans in Aarde kan zich uiten in bloedend tandvlees, aften en zweertjes in de mond.
Lever en Galblaas (Hout)

De Lever is verantwoordelijk voor de opslag van Bloed (yinne functie) en de verspreiding van Qi (yange functie). Het Bloed wordt opgeslagen in tijden dat het lichaam minder actief is. Het Bloed stroomt uit de Lever indien het lichaam het nodig heeft. Dit proces wordt onder andere verstoord als de Lever het Bloed te langzaam vrijgeeft of als de Milt onvoldoende Bloed heeft aangemaakt. De eerste reden kenmerkt zich door stijfheid en pijn na rusten en in de ochtend. In geval van een onvoldoende productie door de Milt zijn er symptomen als een grauwe gelaatskleur, droge huid, futloos haar en een slecht geheugen. In de combinatie zijn er aanvullende symptomen als een wazig beeld of vlekken voor de ogen, zwakke nagels en stramme of slappe pezen. Indien de Lever Hitte aan het Bloed doorgeeft dan resulteert dit in bloedingen, uit de neus, aambeien of andere locaties. De yange functie van de Lever is het laten stromen van de Qi door de meridianen en zo door het hele lichaam. De symptomen die bij een gestagneerde stroom zijn velerlei maar voorbeelden zijn stemmingswisselingen, depressiviteit, menstruatiepijnen, een brok in de keel, pijnlijke zwellingen. Een langdurige stagnatie van Qi leidt tot stagnerend Bloed wat ernstiger is. De sequentie dat een storing in de yange functie leidt tot een, ernstigere, storing in de yinne functie zien we ook in de andere element combinaties terug. In Westerse fysiologische termen is de Lever verantwoordelijk voor het ontgiftingsproces. De Lever onderschept en elimineert toxines.


De Galblaas is één van de drie yange meridianen die het lichaam ondersteunt en wel de zijkant. De Blaas meridiaan ondersteunt de achterkant van het lichaam en de Maag meridiaan ondersteunt de voorkant van het lichaam. De Galblaas begint bij de ogen en beheert samen met de Lever de pezen. Samen beïnvloeden ze de koppeling tussen waarneming en het reageren op de waarneming. Westers gezien is de Galblaas verantwoordelijk voor de opslag en uitscheiding van gal. De helderheid van de gal wordt gekoppeld aan het vermogen om de fysieke en mentale omgeving op orde te houden. In geval van een gezonde Galblaas functie zijn een gezonde organisatie en netheid het gevolg; een disbalans in deze functie kan leiden tot een gebrekkige organisatie of tot een overdreven netheid of inflexibiliteit waarin geen plaats meer is voor spontaniteit. De achillespees heeft een sterke invloed op alle pezen en wordt daarom gemasseerd om pezen en gewrichten losser te maken. De Lever en de Galblaas maken het mogelijk plannen te maken en deze uit te voeren. Het kunnen maken van de plannen wordt aan de Lever toegekend terwijl de daadkracht (in het Engels guts) om deze uit te voeren aan de Galblaas wordt toegekend. Disbalans in deze organen leidt zodoende tot onvermogen om te manifesteren. Bij mensen die gedurende langere tijd beslissingen moeten nemen kan de Galblaas verstoord raken wat zich uit in hoofdpijn en spanningen in de nek.





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