Archive for the ‘Inspiration’ Category

Creation time

It’s definitely creation time. Yesterday I had inspiration for three shaman tools. I keep finding material too again after a time of nothing at all. So here the newest creations.


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Her majesty Bumble Bee queen visited my garden today, while I was busy with creating new shaman tools. She inspected the window of my practice room to be and parked herself there.

The symbolism of the Bumble Bee:

If Bumble Bee
finds you, you must follow its lead. If you do this you will come to the destination most suited for your new life awakening.
Those with this power animal often have strong past life connections to the ancient secrets of longevity and can benefit from yoga. They also make good hypnotherapists. Bumble Bee ask to stay strong in your own worth and manpower and make good use of this energy. Bumble Bee is the messenger of the secrets of life, service, cooperation, wealth, wisdom and reincarnation
The lesson of the bumble bee is to become focused. Whether to awaken us into the moment, or to teach us to become fully engaged in our creative endeavors, the key is to focus with intention and be single-minded in purpose.
Ask for bumble bee help when:
• You need help communicating with other people.
• You question if you are aligned with your goals in life.
• You wish to hear your inner voice and wisdom..

Bumble Bee came in the right moment today. New ways of life are on the doorsteps.

The theme at hand is self worth and manpower. I do have strong past life connections. Yesterday one was closed with an operation.The second time a past life left this way.Look around what beautiful animals give you the honor of their visit.

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….and the beat goes on…

There is closure of what has been seen and understood en to see it on a deeper level, thus another layer. What I’m closing are the developments starting august 2016, followed by May 2017 and November 2017. The walking tool, the mother-tool and the adult parent, not to forget the seal-tool for the childhood experiences. Time to grow up.

It’s not easy when you are in puberty and certainly not when almost 66. My legs and feet are killing and the right knee is damaged like a derailed train. My left leg keeps swelling. There was the start.

Several years ago, I did a family constellation around mother, again… There she was, on her knees, only saying she want to be dead and nothing and nobody could change her mind. Finally 11 woman took all this negative energy, handed it to me and I had to bring it outside. It was a farm and right in-front of me a field with daffodils. She love daffodils, so I brought all the energy there. On my way back to the room, I got stitched by a big horse fly. For weeks this was an infected spot.

Later that year I visited a Physiotherapist. He looked at the red spot mumbling something about ‘ you will have fun of this for a long time ‘. Today he was proven right. Back than I already knew that I have some energetic lock around my ankles. The left leg keep having this and the horse fly spot is red again.

What’s going on is not again that horse fly but something around motherhood – my motherhood. There is some confusion around the theme on the one hand being a mother and on the other to be a woman. Had to think about Elvis who once said, that he had all those other woman because his wife gave birth and with a mother you don’t have sex. Being a good mother is a known trait by me, being a woman is not rely. Also what is not known so far, is being a good nurturer to myself due to the fact that I took care of others since the day I could walk.

Here the legs, especially the left one, come into focus. Legs are not meant to run for yourself, only for others.

Something else came up. Me missing my well-known will power to do what is necessary. I go to the gym with inner reluctance because of the pain. I know I have to make a plan and stick to it: walking, gym, yoga, meditation. Here my coach asked if there wasn’t another tool to support… had to think of my father who drove me through the woods with crouches after my hip-surgery to get walking again…… Followed by something had to be put together…. It was the adult parent and the seal of childhood. Besides the magnesium muriaticum another one is helping this: Magnesium Carbonicum    – the father energy.

When our conversation was over I suddenly knew how to put the two together and which tool to join the forces: the inner father.

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New creation

Made from the root of a bramble bush and part of a Canadian pine cone.

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Balancer & Dreams

Today I finished the balancer which I started yesterday. Even the dream catcher is in it. The inner balance between man and woman, adult and child. Now dreams can come true.

After posting I went on Twitter and came across this:

A Waning Inconjunct between the Libra Moon and Pisces Sun (13 deg) asks you to adjust the results of March 1st’s Full Moon.

The ultimate truth, dream or transcendent goal needs to be balanced with a social issue. There may have been an area of surrender that was bigger than you, but now you need to put this into the context of personal relationships. Look for tension around the ultimate relationship vision that you’ve been projecting, versus the actual relationship.

You don’t have to discard any selfless efforts you’ve made, but they need to be balanced with what the other person actually wants – you can achieve this by actively listening to the other person, rather than getting swept up in your sacrifice or good deed.

This can be a frustrating aspect, because you can’t just sit with what happened during the Full Moon. You see that results are ephemeral, and you have to keep rolling with the changes.

Laughter – this is the kind of humor and serendipity I love. Obviously I had picked up the energy already yesterday.

This morning I gave the new balancer its final place and the last touch. I did the same with the painting yesterday.

A ritual sand painting.
Earth magic works upon the imagination to turn around old patterns and lost worlds by seeing it all with a different pair of eyes. The one who stayed under in a trance of automatic repetition, a regressive loop, is crying out for soul retrieval, is searching for whole new ways to feel and experience the way the energies move. Everything depends upon how you hold it, the field of assumptions and yearnings. For there is a tremendous ability here to follow a subtle track right through the middle of the lingering trances into a heightened experience of what this has all been about for so long. Searching for a deeper path through, learning it is there and not being able to carry forward any other way.


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Naar aanleiding van de woorden in de

Aanraken en aangeraakt worden

Noodzaak tot leven

Is men alleen en alleen bezig met streven en ambitie

beginnen onbehagen en gemis je te belegeren

mis je een zingevende bestemming

biecht het maar op

je bent in crisis

zonder dankbaarheid

in totale eenzaamheid

In alle eerlijkheid onder ≈ zoek eens je geheugen

Het toneel van het genie-geven

Volkomen in perfectie en toch ongegrond

Je verstopte hartzeer

Geen hulp te bekennen van hier tot  Istanboel

Je maskeert en ontkend je kwetsbaarheid

Je ontbrekend moed

Je durft je problemen niet te noemen

Het zwelgen in de nostalgie van onbeantwoord verlangen naar liefde

Ook is er ontkenning geheel en onvoorwaardelijk dat er

Parallellen met familieleden zijn die eveneens het bovenstaande tot kunst verheven

Eenieder een pelgrim van de pijn

Geen rijpheid, robuustheid, niets

Wijsheid is alleen voor kerkelijk Rome

Waar rust is zo genaamd

Waar de schaduw achter bombaste schoonheid is verborgen

Je hebt diepe spijt

Je ziet spoken zegt de familie

Oorverdovende stilte valt

terwijl jij teruggetrokken

in teleurstelling

Geen troost kan vinden

Alsmaar uitstelt jezelf

vergiffenis te schenken

je verlangen niet volgt

je verlegenheid verstopt

In plaats van vol vreugde vriendschap te sluiten met jezelf

 De wanhoop onder ogen te zien in plaats van ervan weglopen

Werk  aan de winkel

Van woede door zelfkennis naar liefde

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After a course morning I came home, tired as hell. The theme had been fear in all its forms and depression with eventually suicide. Felt weary all afternoon.Went down memory lane by viewing old paintings again. Then the urge came for the start on a new tool. Finishing touch this morning.

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