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Archive for the ‘laughter’ Category

Needed to do some minor shopping. That’s not something difficult you may think. You’ll never know.

Thought of doing it quick in one retailer…it was not meant to be.

Started on ROFL-mode when entering AH and seeing the big poster hanging from the ceiling:

DOWNLOAD NOW YOUR VEGETABLE GARDEN APP FOR ALL THE HELP YOU NEED WITH YOUR MINI VEGETABLE GARDEN.

For outsiders: for every 15 euro purchase you get one mini-vegetable-garden. The grown vegetable is just enough to feed a small garden gnome. And what the hack is the difficulty with those mini things you need an app for?

Laughing out loud, I passed the gate and started shopping. Sausage, bread, soya milk, water – easy finds. I also was looking for….

All the approximately 3 meters of mayonnaise from different brands – NO Rémoulade !

The first KID I found filling the shelves, I grabbed to ask if he know where I can find the Rémoulade. He looked desperately at me and then around to find another employee to help me. An older man slowly walked towards us and asked what’s the problem. “She is looking for Rémoulade.” “Must be in the mayonnaise row “, he said, let’s have a look.”  Together we went over there and he searched the 3 meter of shelves to find what I was looking for. “Not here, maybe out of assortment.” he suggested.  “All the Kühne – made with love – products are on the shelves and only Rémoulade is no longer available?” I answered.  “We have to look in the computer, please follow me.”

Had to follow him through the complete store back to the entrance where the office is. Had to go into the office and sat there to watch him looking for my product. “Can you please spell the word Rémoulade to me?” he asked. Deep within me, some part of me almost fainted by inward laughter. All the products came up but no Kühne Rémoulade.  “See!!! we only have Remia Rémoulade Sauce!”  he triumphed. “Let’s go back and look for Remia.”  I followed the man in blue back to the 3 meters mayonnaise where we both started looking for Remia Rémoulade Sauce.

– NOTHING – NADA – NOPE –

“I have to go to the computer for the product number, then find a terminal and then, with the product number, I can find the place the Remia Rémoulade Sauce is to be found within the 3 meters mayonnaise. It’s not that simple as all customers think.”

Hell of a job – the voice inside was awake again. Another woman suggested we have a look at the salad dressings. Proposal dismissed.

“It has to be here, shall I go to fetch the number?”

“No, thank you very much for your useless friendly help, I will buy it at Dirk v/d Broek.”

Meanwhile 3 other searching customers lined up to grab him. Have a lot of fun I thought sarcastically. Fetched the last products I needed and left the store after payment.

Got 2 mini vegetable gardens!!!

I donate them to the elderly home where they are put into a seed table just for show! The elders love watching them grow.

Save

Bewaren

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Like the theme of the New Moon include faith and trust – the people of Cologne had faith, trust and courage to celebrate their Carnival despite the meteorological warnings of a storm. And because everything has to be done different from now on this carnival parade was different due to the weather conditions: without horses and everybody walking like in old times. Also less pretentious but more enjoyable.
People from Cologne will never be thrown off track by life’s circumstances.

karneval Kölle 2016

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Wax on

With the group we did some encaustic art with the usual colored wax.

encausticbox

People enjoyed doing it, because it is just doing without thinking and above all, making a painting without the thought ‘what the hack is this supposed to be’. Here are mine.

encaustic mei grot

encaustic mei kind

The other activities supervisor had bought some wax crayons to try if they could be used for this technique too. Wax crayons are cheaper than the original encaustic colored wax. Because we didn’t have enough time to try it, she gave the crayons to me with the words ‘ try it at home and tell me afterwards.encaustic box 2

I had my doubts if wax crayons would work, but tried in the weekend…with a normal iron…. on steam…

There are some holes in it for the steam to come out.  But what the hack let’s try.

Gosh what mess that got and it took a while to clean the iron after this ‘trial and error test ‘ with wax crayons. They work, although  the colors are not that bright as the real encaustic wax. See for yourself.

wax crayons

Ironing laundry is mission impossible right now.

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Christmas time Game

CHRISTMAS DRINKING GAME

Place a Santa hat on the corner of your TV and every time someone wears it… DRINK !

by @RossGraphitas

drinking

That’s the original version of the game I came across on Twitter.

It’s a good laugh but on second thought – why would you like to spend the Christmas Time in complete inebriation?

Turn around the game into something meaningful. Every time someone wear the Santa head stop watching telly and start a good conversation with the family. Being alone, go for a walk. Maybe you could change the layout of your facebook and everytime someone wears the Santa head – stop facebooking. Could this work for your phone, tablet and all the other machines that keep you away from really participating in life? You could stop doing what you’re doing and ask the question why drinking, over-eating, over-spending and more of the same? By doing so, this Christmas Game could bring some valuable answers.

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Chicken Ears

If you think you had it all than someone post something on Twitter.

It’s time for a funny story. @Parafernadia posted advertisement from Netherlands best known grocer Albert Heijn.

chicken2

Ears? On a chicken? And their color determine the color of the eggs? White ears – white eggs – brown ears – brown eggs?

Must be nonsense! Besides, I never saw ears on a chicken’s head. Have you? So I went searching for info.

Chickens have ears but not like our ears. Their ears are inside, covered with a bunch of little feathers. That’s why I did not see ears. The only thing on the outside of the head concerning ears is the ear lobe.

chicken1

So far so good. They have ears and they can hear extremely well with it.

We mad humans bred chickens with ear lobes of our liking, form and color,  the pure natural chicken is too common.

chicken3

Now what’s about the egg color? Is the advertisement true? After all, to sell products, people tell us lies all the time.

chicken6

Went on searching and finally found an extensive article about chickens.

Here we go!Chicken_looking_around

We have chicken with white, red, yellow, blue and even purple ears. So maybe the white and brown eggs are for us, produced by white and red ear lobes. The chickens with all the colors produce the eggs for the Easter Bunny.

chicken4

Nothing of all this is true. The color of the ear lobe doesn’t determine the color of the eggs – that is one hell of a wide-spread believe. The wise marketing manager or agency fell for it and Albert Heijn bought it too.

Maybe a lot of customers are believers of AH and they tell it their kids and the

Legend of the Egg color

will be alive for more centuries to come.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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Something Else

loesje

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After the solar tractor, now, we have the path_gate. The commotion is about this path:
achterpad2

There was a lot of weed and vegetables growing together with big sunflowers. Besides that, when it rains, we had to swim to the door. I already dropped this issue at Landlord’s Office.

Last week, all of a sudden, 2 men stood in front of the door asking me if I please would be so kind to open the gate because they had to take care of all the weed. I did and they started working – it was raining cats and dogs. 

One very young man came with this:

kantenmaaier

First the right side, starting at the door, then turned back and did the left side, except the sunflowers. He came to the door where a big water pool developed in the meantime. Because he was running around in sneakers, which I suppose not to be the right shoes for a gardener, he had a hard time manage to pass the pool with his tool. 🙂

All the roots of the weeds are still in the ground so this will sprout again – keep the gardener at work. Suddenly I heard this:bladblazer

Another man was busy to blow the weeds away.

When the silence was back, I went out to close the door again and then I saw it. Due to the leaf blower the cut weeds were everywhere. Hanging in the fences, laying in our gardens, draped over the garden furniture and, because it was raining, the weed was almost glued to everything.

Send an email to the landlord to tell so they may hire someone else. 2 days later the doorbell and our concierge came to ask what was going on. At Ymere nobody knew about hiring gardeners for the weed. We went to the path in question and he took photos of the havoc. Than he saw the pool….. took pictures and send it all to the region manager. He also noticed that he had no keys for the fence in case of emergency.

“You will hear from us.” he said and bike away.

Next day I got a phone call from the region manager that the path was Municipality property and not Ymere’s – the reason nobody knew about the gardeners, and, the path has to be lifted also by Municipality.

Up to now, because of everything is fenced here, we all thought that the path was Ymere property. At the entrance to the parking lot a plate states: PRIVATE PROPERTY.

We have a path_gate!

Nobody knows and I haven’t heard from the department of Municipality Haarlemmermeer I immediately send an email to. Only the note that they got my email. angrycontinued

Update September 30:

Today 3!!!!! people from Ymere came around and had a look at the path_gate, the fence, asked if the fence always is closed, saw the spot where all the water run in when it is raining.

“We are looking here to determine what is wisdom you see,” one said,” because according to the cadastre, this path is not noted as ours.”

Christ, unbelievable. The parking lot is private property and at the landlord you can rent your own parking space. The path is all fenced and we got the key from the landlord, if we want to take the bike and leave, we have to use that path, what a problem …continued

UPDATE October 2:

Telephone from Ymere. Now they know to whom the path_gate belongs but….

Speaking about chaos in organisations.

The path behind our homes is not Municipality Haarlemmermeer’s property – that wouldn’t have been logical after all, but…..

Now fasten seat belts: The path, for some inexplicable mysterious reason, landed in the property of the owners association….!?

There are no owners living along this path, only renters. The region manager now have to contact a notary to get the path back into the property of Ymere. This,as you can imagine, unfortunately will take some time.

In the meantime Ymere cannot give any order to repair the path despite the region manager saw that this is necessary.

You can shoot me now.

continued

UPDATE 6 FEBRUARY 2014

Finally the guys arrived to lift the path. When I looked outside I saw that they only lift the path up to number 97, not my part of the path. My part of the path has also to be lifted because water stays and flood my garden. When asking they answered: “We only have order to do the path behind number 97.” Imagine….

Furious I called the landlord but the customer service lady was one of the slow and easy-going type of woman and she could not reach the person in charge to give another order. “If nobody calls, you can try again” she said “and the men can come back to do your part of the path.” This is in no way good planning. There had to be someone who can immediately call to give the order because when they are finished and have to come back another day the path will not be straight after all.

What an organization……see how the path is looking now after they worked on it…..and search the differences with the state of path in the beginning 🙂

pathgate

continued

UPDATE 11 February 2014

Telephone call from Ymere – fasten seatbelts

 +++ NOBODY  KNOWS+++

who gave order to repair the path behind our homes. The man said: “The path still belongs to the owners association!!!!!!!!!! It can take years so if ever, this path comes back into the ownership of Ymere. We did not gave order to repair the path…..”

That owners association must be a bunch of dumb people paying for something they never can use because the path is behind an always closed fence. He continued saying if we want to solve the problem we could

a) repair the path ourselves

b) contact the owners association

When I asked a telephone number he told me that they do not have it. 

shoot me

continued

UPDATE 15 FEBRUARY 2014

Yesterday I had a conversation with one of the owners here. I asked about the path and who is in charge of the owners association. He told me that the owners association want to get rid of the path that belongs to the renters and Ymere but Ymere is not that cooperative.

Besides that, they try to get some green along the parking lot and the empty spot at the side of the fence. That is the spot where trees were planned according to the original plan one found at the interactive website about this project – see here: vogelvlucht

I was told, when asking someone from the Municipality, that the owners do not want trees or green….

Today I wrote a letter to the chairman of the owners association with some questions. Curious what will happen.

continued

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