Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

The process involving my grandmother and the influence this had in the female family line that started May,7 with the process painting now has come to closure.

In a former life of the soul of my grandmother happened something involving a child she never forgave herself for. That child passed on her hate towards her mother through the female line. Grandmother in this life still had self hate because of what happened back than. Me, as caring and open to energy’s as I am, took place in the energy of that child and carried it. As matter of fact this prevented me from really loving grandmother despite she being kind of a protecting godmother to me. I also, passed on by my mother, carried the self hate, preventing self love and forgiveness. Bitterness also developed. Had to do a family constellation to give all of it back through the line and I did, creating a barrier towards the old energy’s. Now I, finally, only have my own energy field left.

The process of the painting? To my biggest surprise the painting isn’t, as I thought, about grandmother – it is me. The message came through  my coach Ria Winterman
“There is something you did not see and it is that middle you worked on….in the beginning it is more outgoing, first not rotating at all, then the movement,and in the latter changes you worked back inside and closed with the walnut.Your own process. Back towards you as you are.” Indeed I didn’t see that.

This brings us to the painting made June, 9th
What was made for a Sunday drawing challenge in fact is connected to the process painting. Also the tool I had made ages ago and no idea what fore. The blue painting is the elaboration of what’s behind the walnut in the process painting. I’m very fond of both paintings and they will be framed as soon as possible and the tool somehow with them on the wall. So far what was going on Monday 3rd with the full moon.

Along this 3 month process I happened to get a newsletter of Irida webshop offering Brazilian Rhinestone . One immediately had my attention and I ordered it. Yesterday it arrived and after a long sea salt bath in the full moon it now enliven my altar. To me it look like a man and a woman are hugging. The assignment to do: who I am now and putting that in writing….

 Photo by Hendrik J.J. Meijer

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Proces painting

As I already thought, my grandmother from mother’s side is involved in the process seen in the paintings of the Lady of the Lake in the post From eye to Avalon.  Had send a request to get her birth certificate in March to have a deeper look at Grandmother. That arrived April, 29. Have been investigating Grandmother with all I can and got a pretty good picture of how she was, how she could have been and why her life was as it was. Simultaneously I got a request to forward a flyer from a friend of a friend who work with a guide and channel messages to your questions. Tried it first, because I want to be sure its worth while. That message arrived May, 4. Some tears but also grumpiness came up. Yesterday I came across the full moon article by Nadia Gilchrist
in which was mentioned that the message one received on May, 4, is part of the full moon, thus the channeling.

Sunday I had already the feeling I had to paint and yesterday bought a big canvas. This afternoon with the full moon I painted. Here it is.

Today, Sunday May 10, followed the feeling that the painting has to change. Removed the feathers and dripped with white all around the painting – but still – this is work in progress I suppose.

Update May 15, 2020:

Out of the blue there suddenly was the ignition to implement the next step to the painting…..

Maybe its Sunday who does it. Today, Sunday, May 17, 2020 I changed the painting again. The middle was annoying – now its a spiral.

Thought the last one was the grande finale but no. Yesterday evening, June,4, the red had to be added.


One spot had to be changed and I was not sure which one. Today, Sunday, July 12, I found myself painting again………… The middle ……………Center piece is a walnut!

The Walnut tree is a symbol of intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, and inspiration. It’s synonymous with intellect and mental aptitude – even the nuts resemble the brain! Native Americans see the Walnut as a symbol clarity and focus, gathering of energy, and beginning new projects. https://www.northwoodrings.com Further the Walnut’s symbolism is home.

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Black Bird

The day, @kreafavo launched again one of her drawing challenges from her #glasvollideen (bowl of ideas) the person, I took care of for two months, peacefully died that very same morning. In the last two days and nights before he died, he opened a new door for me through which I went astonished and did what had to be done there.  I had no time, head or heart to draw that day and the days after. The challenge could not have been more appropriate. When black bird appears something new enter your life. The challenge came up on Twitter and almost simultaneously the phone rang. See the meaning of black bird.

The power animal Black Bird shows us all the possibilities that lie ahead of us and gives us the courage to tackle new projects, new ideas or projects. Sometimes under this influence it is necessary to renounce certain habits or let go of people.

Today the Black Bird had to be done to process it all – to free my inner horse from it all – my body has a hard time. Maybe, doing the drawing and the writing will help to let everything flow…. After the funeral the future is calling again with grief as background for some time.

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One of the drawing themes for November was the quince. When I looked at it again, it occurred to me, that I am in the middle of the fruit, the white spot, white only to the knee, the green leaves as protection of the heart and my feet deeply rooted in the earth. In the brown stalk I also saw a blue horse that stretches all 4 legs as if it is exhausted. The drawing actually fits well with all that is going on inside and out. Looked up the the meaning of the quince and found this:

Element: earth

The fruits are very healthy, but they are only consumed when cooked. Although they are not inedible raw, but they taste hard like cooking pears, sour, bitter and hairy. The quince is the namesake of the jam (derived from the Portuguese name for quince “marmelo”). It is a traditional cure and tonic for cough, abrasions, burns, stomach and intestinal complaints. The uncut seeds and leaves are used for tea.

Spiritual meaning: the quince is a symbol of love and fertility, wisdom and loyalty, happiness and protection, health and skills. It is considered to be the original form of pome fruits of today. Among the Greeks, it was one of the attributes and sacred fruits of the goddess of love, Aphrodite. In the Italian and southern Slavic areas it is often used magically, for example by the gypsies in Hungary for love and fertility magic and to protect the animals. She must take strong and beautiful children. The Cretan apple, as it is called, has aphrodisiac properties and was already a popular space frieze for the Romans. The leaves also smell and give off a seductive scent, which gives a good mood especially in winter. The fruits look like muscular apples and have a powerful, stocky and robust design vocabulary. The downy leaves and delicate flowers, on the other hand, look soft, warm and beautiful. Male and female characteristics unite.

Talked about it with my personal coach, wondering if the drawing actually had a deeper meaning as many of my paintings have. She confirmed with the words: The symbolism is right for you now. Your heart isn’t locked, not entirely; you are processing a lot of grief; let it go.


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Healing Message Aluna Joy

The Star Elders, Archangel Michael, and Lord Pakal through Aluna Joy
Message Received on 3/16/19, Recorded live,
but edited to make more sense and flow to those reading this now.
Aluna Joy Yaxk’in

I see a little square cube that is oscillating crazy fast like an atom does in each of our cells. The light cube quickly implodes and becomes a circle, and then goes back out into a cube. The cube and the circle are core symbols to ancient Maya cosmology. The square is the Earth and physical reality, and the circle is the spirit and everything non-physical. The square is about our human spacesuit, and the circle is our limitless spirit. They are the building blocks to everything in heaven and Earth, and they contain every possibility and ability. When it oscillates, we can be both body and spirit. This light cube is a gift to help us remember and to heal because we forgot who we are. . . . Now I am seeing an amazing, living rainbow, kaleidoscope energy. This is an advanced complex form of what they just showed me with the cube. It is morphing out from the center and moving out into the world. It is beautiful and multi-colored. Ok . . . I think they are offering us an activation. So are we ready? Let’s dig further to see what this is all about.

Archangel Michael reminds me that we came here (Palenque) with the intent for healing on all levels. So he says this is the beginning of this healing. I asked within about what are we going to do today, and I hear this now . . . We are to merge with the fast, oscillating light cube, and then they will layer the constant motion, rainbow, kaleidoscope energy. I am sure as we go on that they will make sense of this, and relate it to our lives in human form.

I see that this living rainbow, kaleidoscope energy rises up from the planet’s ley lines and nodes first. Then the energy slowly moves out into the world, so the entire world will have the opportunity and benefit of this energy. For now, I see the energy will be less concentrated the further it goes out from the source. Once all the ley lines of the Earth are fully activated, there will be no deterioration of the energy as it moves across the planet. There are many brave ones working daily on the energy grids all over the Earth. Palenque is built on top of one of two main Earth arteries (ley lines) that circumnavigate our planet. Here in Palenque, we are working with the Plumed Serpent Ley Line. The healing offered here today will begin from a pure and concentrated form of this energy, from this ley line, infused with the wisdom of the oscillating cube, and the stunning rainbow kaleidoscope.

(Archangel Michael, the Star Elders and Lord Pakal say those reading this with an open heart will receive the pure and concentrated form of this energy no matter where you are.)

Are you open to having a physical, soul and spiritual healing on all levels, including your amnesia in this life, your past lives, and ancient lineages? This is what they are offing us today. You must give permission for this activation to take place as you read this, because we/they never force or push any energy on anyone as this is an invasion of your free will, personal boundaries, and sacred space. (If you are not called to this message, you can stop reading here.)

Archangel Michael, the Star Elders and Lord Pakal want us to allow the energy to come into the heart of our beings. Please place your bare feet on the ground, and make sure you are in a space where you will not be disturbed until you are finished with this process. Have pure drinking water nearby as well. Also, do what feels natural for you.

The process begins . . .

Phase 1 – Upgraded circulatory system, and the return of universal memory.

I can see the Earth’s circulatory system which is rising up from this powerful, Plumed Serpent Ley Line. It is rising up in us now, and it is grounding us to the Earth’s energy lines. This energy will come up into our feet, and up our legs first, and, in a few moments, it will go all the way up through our crown chakra. This will give us much needed grounding for what will follow. Now they are showing me the Palace in Palenque. They are showing me that the Hall of Records (a living library) is being opened up to us. It will come in a vibrational form, which will be a groundbreaking and advanced energy and will be new to this Earth. This energy is pure consciousness from the new cycle that has already arrived. We might feel a vibration, or have some temporary pressure or ringing in our ears. In this circulatory system, I see the filaments of colors, red and yellow/gold with some white/silver brilliant light, coming up our legs to our hips and slowly filtering up through our bodies. They say we will be keepers of this energy, and this is a gift from the living library here in Palenque. We are being beautifully infused.

Breathe that in for a few minutes. We need some grounding, so make sure your feet are on the ground.

They are showing me the Hall of Records again. The Hall of Records is the history of the universe and our place within it. But it is also contains infinite possibility for our future. Our place in the history of the Universe is a bit different for each of us because of our personal history, experience and perspective. But at the core, it is the same. They are giving us the living records that belong to us, including the things that we hid away in the past, and those things that our soul agreed to carry forward. We never lost anything, but we did lock much away for future use. Maybe this is why we sometimes feel that we arrived on Earth to soon. This wisdom and information goes back eons, if we could place a time line of infinity. They say the healing that they are offering us today will come automatically and in phases, or stages, as our old body memory begins to move aside, and we remember wisdom and truths that we really never forgot. This will not be a memory that we will receive in our head. Most of the really good stuff that we search for comes into our body as a feeling, and then we will have a series of “ah ha” awakenings that unpack it.

I now see the filaments of light moving up our bodies in red, yellow gold and wrapped in silver white. Hold this light in your heart now, and intend that we will remember the source of all that is. This is the source that we are always a part of. If you feel dizzy or fuzzy, make sure you are standing, or sitting, in a stable way. And I see the guardians of this place sending a great amount of gratitude to us today (and those reading this). Breathe that in for a few minutes, and pay attention to your heart and what you feel.

When we came into this body, we had to forget almost everything we knew. If we had remembered everything, it would have been so unbearable that we would have not survived. So we don’t remember our whole universal history, and our place in it. Yet this is exhausting for our soul, because we never stop searching until we find all the missing pieces. It is almost like trying to start a car with a missing spark plug. We are misfiring all the time, and we know it in our hearts. So this is part of the reason why they are offering this healing today. It is why part of this process is us receiving an upgraded and circulatory system, and the memory of the history of everything, and our place in it.

Now the energy has risen to our hearts, and it is moving to our higher hearts and crown chakra. To complete this process, take a few moments to take this energy all the up to the top of your head . . . to the top of your crown chakra.

We ask that this phase of the healing is sealed into our higher hearts and our sacred place within us where we hold things that are most dear. We ask that it be sealed within us, throughout all time, space, and dimension; body, mind, and spirit; past, present and future; for all time . . . OR . . . until the receiver no longer want this activation. We might feel like a tingling spot, or a pressure, at the top of our heads or at our heart centers.

Wait a few minutes until you feel that this upgrade is complete. This could happen in a few seconds or a few minutes. They want this part to be complete, because next, they are shifting gears and offering another layer to this process.

Phase 2 – Travel on consciousness with internal orientation.

Now they are showing me a lot of geometric images that are going to be hard to describe. They are like nesting cubes, with tubes, tunnels and specific directions. I am asking “What are the directions for?” They say that this is the concept or consciousness of being able to navigate the “TO and FROM” (to travel with consciousness). OK . . . now I understand why they made sure that we were deeply grounded to the Earth and on this ley line with the upgraded circulatory system, because they are going to offer us something that is not grounded at all. They are showing me that this is the energy of how the Star Elders travel on consciousness. The first time I was shown this process, I was here in Palenque in 1990. They are showing me the tube that the Star Elders used to come into this reality and to also return home. The “TO and FROM” goes between anything or anywhere, anytime, any thought, anything. It is our choice what the “where to” and the “where from” is. For now, they are just exposing us to the concept. This is coming to us like a lightning bolt of new frequencies. Just like a lightning bolt, the energy upsurges from the Earth, and it simultaneously shoots down through our crown. It is the core of the “TO and FROM”. Once we feel this today, and, in time, as all the pieces come together, we will be able to use this.

All that they are showing me now is not of the Earth. It is in our spirit, our soul, and now in our body. The Star Elders are not much different than us, because they are our ancestors. They know how to travel through time and space with natural, internal navigation and consciousness. No maps, no GPS, and no asking outside for directions are needed. We already know how to do this, but we forgot. This is why they offer us a trigger to what we already have, so we can remember.

There are many reasons why the Star Elders want us to remember the “to and from” ability. It will end the constant searching for something that we forgot. This will help with fatigue, anxiety and nebulous frustration. There may be other things that we will need to remember in the coming days, but we won’t be looking for this one again. This remembrance will help with the deep feeling that we need to be set free, or feel trapped, because, we will know that we are free. We have the ability to travel at any time as long as it is within our divine purpose. In these chaotic and quickly transformational times, we may need to get out of the way of crumbling programs very quickly. So knowing the “to and from” ability, gives us the peace, helps us relax, and we quit feeling trapped. It is not natural for human kind to feel trapped like we do. It is natural to feel free and limitless. This is the reason why we have craziness and war, because humanity thinks that they don’t have options. They feel trapped, and trapped people do desperate things. The Star Elders say that there is no unobtainable thought. If we think it, see it, feel it, then it is possible. Simple as that! So get creative and dream big.

We ask again that this final phase of the healing be sealed into our higher hearts and our sacred place within us. We ask that it be sealed within, throughout all time, space, and dimension; body, mind, and spirit; past, present and future; for all time . . . OR . . . until the receiver no longer wants this activation.

As we finish here today. I hear many wonder now . . . “How will we be able to travel on consciousness?” This will happen synchronistically, without trying, just at the exact time that we need it most, because we will be 100% present. Remember, trying to travel will only stop the process as we will be telling the universe that we are stuck . . . by “trying”. Does that make sense? Just let go, be natural and be as present as possible.

The Star Elders, Lord Pakal and Archangel Michael honor us, because we chose to come in these bodies, to take on this very pivotal job at this moment of the great crescendo of creation. It is a very courageous choice, because we had to forget almost everything and allow ourselves to fall into a body. Up until now, it has been a blessing to forget how much we lost. It helped us with crushing homesickness. But now it is time to remember. Remember everything. What we forgot is exactly what we need to build the future.

This message was received on the first day of our Mayan Pilgrimage.
The entire take-away message with the significance from this entire pilgrimage is posted here: Why We Are Out Of Time, And Why It Is A Good Thing – . . . And What Is The Time Line Encapsulation?

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Today, in the afternoon, it was the right time to initiate the dragons and the female energy tool. Try if you can feel the difference.

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This morning the boys as painting – shed some tears again. Feeling the love I have for my children. Here you see child 3 and 4. Without further explanation.

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Paint the children

Another appointment with my coach left me somehow flabbergasted. The dragon tools had not necessarily been connected in the way I did, but ore weaving energetically. So I managed to get them separated again. Got two assignments:
a) find a dragon head for the new tool, there is only one
b) paint your children but not as portrait but energetically. What comes to the fore when thinking of each one. Today finally I could get myself to assignment b – I intuitively painted my daughters one by one by repeating their full birth name while letting my hands go with what en wherever they wanted.Tears when finished and looking at them. Tomorrow the boys will be done.No further explanation, see for yourself. The paintings are in line of their birth without the boys – you see child 1, 2,5.

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As you could read in the previous post the dragon the inner child drew together was not completely one. The grown ups had draw their dragon. Today the idea to try again with the inner child. Eyes closed and asking for a dragon. In no time it was on paper and I had to choose the colors this time. After that, I closed my eyes again and asked what the dragon’s name is. They wrote together -both hands- Godilinex. His tail is kind of a propeller they said.

As you can see, the writing comes together at the end – they work together now.

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For a drawing challenge called #animalalphabets a Dalmatian Pelican was asked for. I looked it up and liked the wonderful bird I saw, so I joined the challenge. To my surprise, I was able to draw the bird – that’s a first. Wondering about this fact, I looked up the spiritual message of the bird. The first thing that came up made me laugh because its an old treat I met long ago and let go.

Looking further there is a rich meaning to the bird, like the Phoenix.

Also attentive to topics such as helpfulness and family spirit. Even though you may feel alone and helpless, in reality you are not, because someone is always watching over you and saving you from the worst.

This already came up during the conversation on Twitter I wrote about in my previous post. And that is absolutely true, I’m not alone. I’m protected by spirit and Angels and my Guardian. Furthermore precisely what I partly accomplished concerning adulthood and love. Self-employment and teaching – the next stepping stones. So no wonder I was able to draw the beautiful bird.

You cross the threshold from child to adult and become a teacher from the learner. It’s about a step into self-employment. It is also a step into love, into selflessness and thus a step into awakening.

totem animal Pelican – german website

the pelican

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