Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Today another coaching hour for myself. After one week with enormous heart rate when I thought my heart and head would explode. A second week with the start of new volunteer work that actually is real fun because by doing it, I can help people to get their new start.

In the meantime I already had seen an article from empoweringastro.com where the connection of the upcoming New Moon with the August eclipse was mentioned. I made a tool that eclipse day. And this tool took center stage today, figuratively and literally. And an article came along on Twitter about Pluto in the natal chart .

But first things first. Pluto in my natal chart is in the 6th house. So what came up in the beginning of our conversation was about sickness and what this mean for me. It’s all about loosing control – my fear of sickness mingled with a last little bit of my wish to go to heaven again. Sickness as a sign that something needs attention and not as a guilt trip. My feeling about the maybe-explosion of my big heart was not far-fetched – the ongoing transformational journey now has reached the next stop: my heart. To let everything flow into the high heart – taking responsibility for my SELF.  Now the tool.

I had to hold it. The day I made it and when I initiated it, because of its length, it looked like an old-fashioned crutch.

There is an old saying: ‘ walking with your soul under your arm ‘ and that is the top shell with the gold in it on top of the tool. The three small ones – I had to feel it – they are my parents and my grandmother, now supporting me in my quest and I have to take them in with love because they gave me life. Here the message came that the three are really over to the other world now and therefore able to send positive energy finally.” So after all it’s a crutch in some way. Hold the tool.” I took it into my left hand, closed my eyes and there it was – not under my arm to be positioned but in front of me, right in the middle. ” It’s my spine and the curve is precisely underneath my heart and if I turn it around the curve goes right into my heart.” “That’s it, my coach said, the energy has to come into flow to your heart and not be blocked anymore, taking full responsibility for your souls’ journey, yourself and love yourself in all that you are.  By the way – I had to say out loud that I am proud about myself and what I managed to heal…..was not easy.

What can help the process is Plantain

Plantain grew massive around the Municipality planter I’m gardening. My neighbors thought of it as weeds and it had to go….The latin name of the plantain is plantago lanceolata. Lancelot who fought for love and whose name meaning in celtic is son of fate.

That all was the drive to bring man and woman together in their new home: my golden heart.

Let’s keep one eye on November 20. That’s when the Sun in its last day of Scorpio squares the degree of that big total solar eclipse of August that crossed America from ‘…sea to shining sea’ at 29º Leo. These are trigger points releasing over time more of that reset energy. If you have planets at 29º of most signs, you will feel the effect most strongly. New Moon November, 18

Inside degree for LEO 29
A broken sword.
Consecration to a higher power. The giving-over of the personal will–the marvel of root change. Coming to the end of your own path, and it is just the beginning of the greater way. The heart must open. The infinite must be born inside. The destiny-necessity is there–so much karmic backlog. So many ways to be right and to be wrong. The realization in the very midst that there is nobody listening to the old tale and everybody is awaiting somebody else to come through. A profound and utter doorway into a great unknown. What has been is finished. What shall be is so very different. And what is now is a question and a prayer and a destiny that must find its redemption.


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Today was full of action due to endless telephone calls, mails, a coaching session and, of course, a treatment by Annelies Beschoor-Plug. But first things first.

The coaching session: We both started short of breath so a calm start was necessary. First we talked about the last treatment by Annelies and the tool I made about this. I told her about my decision for no operation gall bladder and what good information I’ve got from my general practitioner. During my conversation with him he also said that his concern was more about the steadily rising alkaline phosphatase info in dutch

In short the alkaline phosphatase works on your bones. A high level is normal after a fracture but not when nothing is broken. End of October another blood test to see if the rising is still going on. Then a visit to an internist will be necessary to see what the reason is. When talking about the bones, the session really started. Problems with bones have a deep-rooted, inherited angst of deficiency, hard to believe it ever will be okay. There is often a deep despair with bitterness and disappointment as result. This also can affect the liver and gall bladder.

This all rang a bell because I often hear myself say “it’s all useless!” As a matter of fact one of the angles Neptune make in my birth chart has to do with this angst for deficiency in each and every way. In younger years I had an enormous storage room full with everything you possibly might need and an enormous loaded freezer. The money shortage of the past years also a result of this. It feels like running a maze, a hamster in a hamster wheel and not seeing the way out.There has to be a positive mantra: All will work out just fine!

As I wrote in a previous blog I have to work with this Triangle.

Until now with no success. I also put my ocean jasper into the Triangle – a good move.

Now when sitting in front of the Triangle I have to hold my anti-pain – tool which works on the legs with the theme of going towards a new future.

Fun fact – more or less – : I’m playing Candy Crush and for weeks now I wasn’t able to get through a certain level because I don’t play on Facebook so one can buy extra things. And also while trying to get through I repeatedly said: it’s useless. After the session I mastered the level…. 🙂 I got the telephone call that I was accepted as worker at ‘home administration’ from https://www.meerwaarde.nl where people in financial trouble can get help. It’s volunteer work. I’m good in creating order in chaos.

There is a homeopathic remedy for this theme of deficiency. In the afternoon a good treatment by Annelies Beschoor-Plug.

Hoped for some rest, peace and quiet afterwards but no way. I had to sign a lot of papers coming in by mail as curator for my client. Part of all the sudden rush during this day maybe is the finally forward motion again of Pluto.Live is on the move again too. Off the maze!!

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The Wound

Tuesday I had another session with Annelies Beschoor-Plug, the psychosomatic physiotherapist. Her right hand underneath me on my back where you see the red spot.

Her left hand went along my left side like the line I drew on the painting.

Very painful. At a certain point, I heard her saying: ” It’s empty here now, come back here.” I noticed that all my attention was at her hand on my back. I did not feel a hand but like this

The red spot is our backdoor – a central point were our nerves come together and on energetic level it’s the door the soul enters her home the heart. If you happen to experience something nasty, painful et cetera, you may feel itching at this spot. Than you try to escape threw the back-door. Annelies locked this with her hand. My being was trying to get out. I felt panic and I was short of breath. Along the black line, you see on the painting, it felt as if there was a wall, the entrance to a cave. The whole afternoon, after this session, I was panicking and short of breath.

Wednesday all of a sudden I felt more alive and stronger in my legs then quite some time. I had a lot to do and everything could be done fast. The afternoon a sleepy energy and I went to bed early.

Today my next session. Her hand on my back but more in the area of the stomach. This time the hand felt like a plug to prevent something from leaking. The other hand, again, alongside the line. Some minutes past before the pain set in, razor-sharp, like a knife was cutting everything open. The rest of the area seemed to be shuffled all to the right because there suddenly I felt a heavy mountain. An energetic operation was taking place. The sewn tight spot got open, the mountain vanished and it was all over. We talked it through and Annelies had the same experience I had, a razor-sharp knife cutting ……

I know from my own healing work as a shaman that now I have to take good care of the wound. Biking home, no horses. Instead, at an old tree, I saw a branch precisely in the shape of the line of the cave. I already cleaned and colored it. Now its drying in the garden. First photo:

I will finish it today – that is my way of taking care of the wound and to manifest the healing.




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Healing day

A good day to get a healing or a massage – my personal energy for the day. Thank GOD I already had an appointment with Annelies Beschoor Plug . She also work  at Praktijk De Wormer te Hoofddorp as psychosomatic physiotherapist.

The place to be was the heart region.

She felt the plate you see on the painting to the right which was brought in by a shaman to close the big wound you see to the left.

With gentle touch, she went into the energy until she met the blockage. Holding the space with both her hands, my body made the connections to other spots, especially the throat area and the right side of my skull. Holding this position until the pain settled down. There will be a follow-up.

Biking home, I always come across the Old Grain Barn
where nowadays a shop is manifested and workshops can be followed. They also have 2 horses and a pony. Following a hunch, I stopped and went to the fence. The big horse came towards me and we immediately cuddled. Got some affection gnaws – after all I’m a respected member of the horse clan, honored with this when doing constellation work with horses. My tears finally got way and the horse laid her head on my shoulder while I was crying and stroking her. The other, smaller horse paid no attention and the pony stood in the outermost right corner. Happy I bike home after this horse meeting. A big relief.


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Today I, by exception, feather my own ass. Reading the August horoscope overview in dutch  I, again, noticed that when I do something it’s for the future most of the time. As the saying goes: A fish knows without knowing what he knows. Fish is my rising sign.

The dates listed as follows: third square Jupiter/Pluto on August 4, the other two were on November 24, 2016 and March 30, 2017. Looked these two dates up in my blog to see what I did, made or worked towards back then.

November 2016

All I wished for back then is supposed to come in the upcoming time.

March 2017

The tool that helps getting rid of the past and march towards the new future.

The next date mentioned half square Uranus/Neptune on August 11, 2017. An ongoing process sinds June 2016.

June 2016 in its totality

Shows the demolition of the old – that beautiful garden which is demolished – it’s like leaving paradise and the painting of the knight on the white horse – finally the inner marriage male/female but also meeting Mr. Right in real life.
The phoenix is rising from the ashes to change the dragon.

Picture from the cover of the book by Jeanine Hofs

Why this feathering my own ass? Because the past weeks, months actually, when no progress on the outside is made, and I feel as if I do something wrong maybe, this was soothing to the anxious part of me.

Girl I’m on track!


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In Nadia Gilchrist’s horoscopes for July 23rd to July 30th, 2017
Here for Capricorn I found

“However, this isn’t all about you – someone else has a lot at stake. Look back to June 14th, 2015 – the issue that you’re turning a corner on now began back then. The July 23rd New Moon will be involved with this.

I looked up June 2015 in my blog and found it Here

The same for Pisces my ascendant. Could have known already because, in an ongoing conversation with someone on Twitter, this theme came up. The conclusion was, that we both are mirroring our relationship with mother. She even has the same energy as my mother. As a matter of fact, my belly hurts all week increasingly. Thé area in my body mother had the most impact on.



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Look for stagnant energy patterns in your home, especially those connected with ancestral energies embedded in art and furniture that belonged to family members that passed away.

excerpt from the article about the Full Moon of June 9 by Nina Elshoff

Something to think about and I did. When rebuilding the attic in my childhood home which was in the family for 3 generations, most of the stuff especially Grandma collected, went out. Some things like photo’s from the war and after, war medals, money went to a museum in Cologne.During my 9 house movings all the other old stuff went piece by piece, be it because of it went broke or I just left it somewhere. There are only 2 things I kept all those years. The inherited dining services from Villeroy & Boch I only have some pieces left of. When having little children some things fall in action of doing the dishes together. Unfortunately the services are no longer part of collection Villeroy & Boch.






The other thing I still have is this:

Mother’s sieve, back than part of  Krups 3 Mix 3000 kitchen help – almost 50 years old. My mother did not adjust well to and lamented a lot about new electrical things father bought. The sieve survived longer than the rest of the tools, still going strong in serving me in the kitchen. The recently received old photo’s and the family marriage book of my parents do not count I suppose regarding old ancestral energy. Nothing further left from the old days & old energy’s. I let it all go, starting 1977, slowly but steady.



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