Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

In Nadia Gilchrist’s horoscopes for July 23rd to July 30th, 2017
Here for Capricorn I found

“However, this isn’t all about you – someone else has a lot at stake. Look back to June 14th, 2015 – the issue that you’re turning a corner on now began back then. The July 23rd New Moon will be involved with this.

I looked up June 2015 in my blog and found it Here

The same for Pisces my ascendant. Could have known already because, in an ongoing conversation with someone on Twitter, this theme came up. The conclusion was, that we both are mirroring our relationship with mother. She even has the same energy as my mother. As a matter of fact, my belly hurts all week increasingly. Thé area in my body mother had the most impact on.



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Look for stagnant energy patterns in your home, especially those connected with ancestral energies embedded in art and furniture that belonged to family members that passed away.

excerpt from the article about the Full Moon of June 9 by Nina Elshoff

Something to think about and I did. When rebuilding the attic in my childhood home which was in the family for 3 generations, most of the stuff especially Grandma collected, went out. Some things like photo’s from the war and after, war medals, money went to a museum in Cologne.During my 9 house movings all the other old stuff went piece by piece, be it because of it went broke or I just left it somewhere. There are only 2 things I kept all those years. The inherited dining services from Villeroy & Boch I only have some pieces left of. When having little children some things fall in action of doing the dishes together. Unfortunately the services are no longer part of collection Villeroy & Boch.






The other thing I still have is this:

Mother’s sieve, back than part of  Krups 3 Mix 3000 kitchen help – almost 50 years old. My mother did not adjust well to and lamented a lot about new electrical things father bought. The sieve survived longer than the rest of the tools, still going strong in serving me in the kitchen. The recently received old photo’s and the family marriage book of my parents do not count I suppose regarding old ancestral energy. Nothing further left from the old days & old energy’s. I let it all go, starting 1977, slowly but steady.



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It’s going on and on – stuff that come my way for closure. Now a book – the tip came from Carin v/d Hem via Twitter. The title: Neptune – the 12th house and Pisces by Maurice Fernandez. The only thing you need is your Natal Chart to see where you have Neptune and in what sign. Further what aspects it has with other planets. nepIf there may be new information you get me going. With my and my children’s natal charts I looked up all houses, signs and aspect. After that I started reading – first mine. What came along was not new in the sense of ‘never ever heard of it – me ? ‘ but, with growing astonishment,  all I have been through during my life, in relationships, with my children and what I learned during my inner journey everything EVERYTHING.

Sickness and relationship quarrels, how I grew up, how I felt back than and more. Absolutely correct in every way and showing the roots. Couldn’t stop reading. After all was read about myself I started with the children. Same experience – exactly how they were, what they have gone through until now, childhood problems, school problems, health, psyche, relationships. One son often exchange with me how he is doing and feeling, sometimes depressed. I send him his Neptune info and for the first time he, who always reject reading and does not love reading, gave me a call about it and told me that this was great and he read it all. I went to bed late and it took quite some time before I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up with a lot of pain from neck down to under the shoulder-blades.Every day this sinks down a bit as if all the old is falling off.  Today I realized what I mastered over the years regarding where I started from. I used to say ‘I moved the Alps ‘and without exaggerating I did. At first it is some shock to read all of it in one piece while I mastered it in 64 years and deep diving since 1994. Now I’m proud that I did, there is compassion with the child I once was and love in my heart. I can let go of it all with a big sigh – finally. The heavy and worst is over and healed.

The book show your innocent paradise-perception meeting real life experience and the fear that arouses. Like Adam and Eve stumbled out of Paradise seeing the real world and themselves for the first time – the naked truth. The book also show the steps out of trouble, your fake tune, wrong perception and fear getting back a more realistic true innocence. Even this ‘ getting back your innocence’ came along years ago in family constellation work.

The inner journey is more adventurous and fascinating than even a jungle journey on foot, better than every movie or book and with a real world happy ending. This happy ending come when you’re taking one step at a time with new found valor, courage, and self-discipline. You start feeling better about yourself and your life, quarrels lessen, your health improve and relationships are changing and more loving and light-footed. Your true calling and new skills are found.

The book came right in time before the eclipse and full moon 10/11 February when we all close a door. The Chandra Symbol for the eclipse:

LEO 22
An alligator swims slowly through a swamp.
Imperious self-command. The self, entirely conscious of its own territorial rights and privileges, exerts a presence, a force. Saturating the atmosphere with one’s love, light, and intensity. Big and bright, deep and formidable. So very purposive that your every breath is conceived to be part of the master plan. Grandiose and inflated, yet into something so essential that it is very difficult to go against. It is the ingrained aura of spiritual authority and cosmic intent, linked with the heights, seeping into the depths. You become so enduring and insistent that others back out of the picture. Graphic demonstration of being here now in your element, doing what you need to do. Sinuous, suggestive, sensuous, and somewhat prone to pushing it a bit. The inner light upheld at the cost of any and all extraneous factors.

I realized that I once painted Neptune – the Nep (fake) tune about our-self.


The end of Hope and the start of the Truth – a painful experience but an enlightening one.





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Down memory lane

Just another normal day I thought when waking up this morning. Life was thinking otherwise.

At 14:00 ‘o clock some heavy stuff arrived by mail.

Saw a German senders address. Recognized the name and city it came from – a long gone story came up to be felt again. Still there the anger about it and how the story went. Neither being able to get nor thought I ever would what now felt into my house.

The story: my Dad remarried one year after mother’s death in 1974 to a woman I never liked but had to go along with to have contact to my father. When father died in 1984 all hell broke loose. We had a fight over the inheritance and all of the important stuff to me. She claimed it was never there, a plain lie, even to my lawyer. Got some money and never ever saw her again. That was precisely what my mother predicted on her death-bed – he will remarry and leave you with nothing.

Years later, I got contact to another member of the Althausen family who was living in the same city. He asked me, if I had the family tree, my father worked on his whole life. He had asked her and she kept saying she would not give it. Same she said to me. Buried that theme too, so did he.

Today arrived the family register with in it the marriage certificate of my parents and my birth certificate and date of christening. I was surprised to see, that I was baptised on New Years Eve 1952, 4 days after my birth, in the chapel of the hospital. They must have thought I will not survive, otherwise I cannot explain the hurry. My birth was a difficult one. Old family photo’s from my parental home and garden in Germany, Dad in the garden, my wedding photo’s, baby photo’s of my oldest children, my dog, a photo of myself in carnival costume when 7 years old, a very old photo of my Dad as little boy, nice photo’s of my Dad before he got ill  and Grandmother from Mother’s side. The one the last healing was all about.oma2

Tears flowing when seeing all this, very emotional. The letter came from her eldest daughter, saying that all this really belong to me she thought. She had found it in her mother’s stuff in 2012 when going to a nursery home. She died last year. She also found my letter asking for the family tree. She apologized that she did not find it.  The package was on its way since 2012.

After all my emotions and the old anger settled, I wrote a letter and posted it, thanking her for this surprising package of memories. In miraculous ways it had to be now that this finally reached me, I suppose, to get closure and peace with it all.





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In short I could simply say: I had to get rid of Grandmother – period. That’s to the point but heart- and meaningless. So let me explain.

There was that urge that the next step had to be taken. Right in time before the New Moon, I had an appointment with my coach. “There is fear not to reach the ideal progress in 2017 as pictured in my personal horoscope because of the part we have to work on today. “

“It’s my solar plexus.” I said, suddenly knowing where to be.

A long time ago I had that dream that my Grandmother gave me the key to a brand new food truck for my birthday.

This dream was about what was coming now.  That food truck is a metaphor for my Solar Plexus and she had the key.

There, where intuition is transferred to the brain, is fear of intuition. Most of the fear is already worked out and processed too. But there is a block which gives a lot of traffic jam. It’s like a switch has to be turned into the right direction. Grandmother is sitting on the switch.That is the reason why the fear not to make  happen what is supposed to happen.

My Grandmother had blocked her intuition and did the same to me. My mother did not even developed her intuition let alone a proper use of it. Therefore her proclamations about my future did not hit rock bottom. Grandmothers and my intuition are the same: the spiritual, in the beginning a bit wholly, and on the other hand practical earthy. There is so much information coming in that my Grandmother shut down the connection and worked on mine also.

Enough is enough and the time is ripe to get rid of Grandmother on my Solar Plexus and set the switch in the right direction again. The traffic jam cause too much pain in the Solar Plexus. How to do? Family constellation work, on my own together with Grandmother before the New Moon.

So today was the day. Two chairs in the practice room – one for me and one for Grandmother. For Grandmother I once made a tool so I could use this.grandmother Also a tourmaline crystal and my angel tool. I sat on the other chair together with my personal rock crystal and the ring with Christ energy which works strongly soothing and healing. I asked the family soul to grand my petition and asked Grandmother to leave and give me what is necessary to turn the switch. I waited and then opened the tool to get what was inside and together with the tourmaline and the angel tool I went back to my chair. Went back and put Grandmother’s energy from my Solar Plexus into the open pot and sealed it again. Than put the energy of the thing out of the pot, the tourmaline crystal and the angel tool into my Solar Plexus. Said my thank you to Grandmother and the family soul and ended the constellation. The whole process has to settle in and get flowing again.

The pot remain sealed in the practice room – there was another dream around Grandmother….


Happy New Chinese Year of the Phoenix rising from the ashes.





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There is scientific behavioral evidence that dogs have a close look at what you do, remember it and do it too.

article in English about it if interested.

article in Dutch about it if interested.

Great find indeed but I experienced that dogs ‘looking at you ‘ goes much deeper.

At age 21 I bought a fox terrier, 8 weeks old, I found out of the blue when being on a Sunday trip with father and Grandma. My mother just died some weeks ago. We wanted some outdoor fun and having a cup of coffee and cake at a very nice old mill. There were a lot of people staring at something and curious as I am I went over there to see what was going on. There she was, running towards me immediately, pissed all over me and I bought her.

My father was astonished and with Grandma it was love at first sight . We put her into dad’s hat with his scarf in it. She fell asleep. The next day I bought all things a dog possibly need and my father made a sturdy wooden box after she demolished the fluffy one I had bought.

Despite the fact that my father harshly, sometimes brute, trained her, she loved him. She sat by the door before he came home, jumped high in his arms and slept on his feet when he sat somewhere.


30 years later I had a family constellation about mother, how she treated me and dad never protected me from her. So I choose someone for dad, my mother and someone for myself. The constellation unfolded at first seeing the old behavior and to my surprise, the person standing for me, lay down and curled up on the feet of my father where she fell asleep. She stayed there while something about my mothers childhood had to be repaired first.

Into tears I remembered my deeply loved dog Freya by seeing me curled on the feet of my father. That dog showed me all the time what I was doing in relationship to my father but I was not ready to understand.

Another example is a family constellation I was honored to help with. It was a family of 4 and a tiny white dog.That dog carried all the family problems and worked in each and every constellation we did. When we finally stand in circle to say thanks to the ancestor field,  that little dog stepped to the middle, got low on his fore paws and put his head between the paws saying thanks also. That was the moment the family burst into tears finally. The dog after saying thanks run around like crazy, freed from the burdens.

So dogs do not only see and remember what you are doing on the outside, they see your inner being and hidden doing. As a matter of fact all pets do, my cats, I had over the years, do the same thing. One cat had serious nose problems. I had too and it could be operated. She died of it because no cure possible.

Horses span the crown of all, what we can see in constellation work with horses.  I had the chance to do also. Phenomenal.




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Yesterdays rainy Sunday inspired the making of the first tool of new ways yet to come. Today I initiated the tool and sealed the channeled energy in it. It is a soft and tender, yet strong, energy – the inner boy .new-toolnew-tool-2Within the tiny little seed balls, which look like flowers, the seeds rattle minuscule tones.

Today, Wednesday, October 5, I got an inner child reading done by Praktijk De Wortelkindjes

Reading the first sentences, tears rolled over my face and my belly got warm. It still is while I’m writing this in the evening. In each and every way this reading make me feel like hugging and nurturing the child within and the adult could use some hugs too. As a matter of fact the tool I made Sunday has the same energy – the little one soft and loving.



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