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Gedicht

Naar aanleiding van  http://heldenreis.nl/schrijfveren  voor de maand augustus weer eens een gedicht


Nooit meer een spreekbuurt houden
Over een kindertijd vol spoken
Het op eieren lopen van de angst
Wel misschien van dingen die
Toch wel heel leuk waren
Het geratel van de telefoon met draaischijf
De nieuwe hoekbank in de keuken
Met van die kleppen en onder het hoekgedeelte
Een holletje om te verstoppen
Ondanks alles of juist daardoor
Alles overleefd
Het was een lachertje gezien wat later kwam
Nieuwsgierigheid als deugd
Weet ik zo net nog niet – teveel ervan is minder
Het jachtseizoen geopend toen ik vrouw werd
Belanden in het luxe bed van lust en wat zo liefde heet
Ontdekkingsreizigster in mannenland en geen benul geen routekaart
Een goede voorbereiding hierop node gemist
Onbenul vol onbevangen lezen van mijn levensboek
Het grandioze waaien door de dagen
toilet maken voor de looks en de disco en de eerste ridder met of zonder paard
de kans nihil geacht er een te vinden met zo weinig zelfbewust en vol van twijfels
dan toch gelukt een kort geluk
de tweede gauw getrouwd
de tent heel snel vol houten speelgoed voor
de kinderen die kwamen
geen onbewaakte ogenblikken meer
geen tijd voor lezen maar wel schrijven
dagboeken vol
ook onverzamelde gedichten zo nu en dan
diep van binnen de wens ooit een boek met mijn naam op de rug
maar ach, met kind en man
nog steeds die hoekbank van weleer
zaten wij te eten
het tafelzilver van mijn ouders in gebruik
en hun servies
geen geld maar wel de geur van munten ruiken
wie het kleine niet eert….
huisvrouwenslavernij zo dacht ik toen
dan brak de pleuris uit
de man bleek al twee jaar een verhouding te hebben
met een kleine middenstandster
ik wil niets weten
ik wil niet vragen
mijn hart is ijs
strooiwagens vol liefde zijn verdwenen
we gaan verhuizen

halve maan mes waarmee familieperikelen geheeld worden

en energetische banden verbroken

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Wednesday, January 10, I start with medical training and therefore need a sports outfit.

Not something very difficult – buying a sports outfit….at least I thought and went to BRISTOL HOOFDDORP to buy it. Sports clothes are on sale after all.

I found sneakers and 2 T-shirts. After that, I searched the training trousers to find something in XXL (size elephant). Not in the lady’s department so I grabbed a black one in the men’s department. Same joke with the young girl at the cashier about the size elephant. Everything in a bag and I went home.


Today  I  wanted  to see if I had to shorten the trousers, removed the labels – and then I saw this:

Packed it into the bag again with the cashier bon and went back to the store. There the real nightmare started.

I put the trousers and the cashier bon on the table and asked if I could get my money back because of the holes. The manager looked at me and looked at the trousers and said: ” I do not believe you bought this trousers yesterday in our shop!! This is an old one. Unbelievable you buy a new one and want to return an old one!”

 “I bought this trousers yesterday. It was hanging nicely between all the others, labels on it and on a hanger. As far as I saw the only XXL so I tuck it. Today I saw the damage. I have no reason to lie to you. I have the labels at home.” “Yeah you can bring them together with the real trousers you bought yesterday.” I kept saying that this was the trousers I bought but he would not listen. ” I send an email to headquarters that you cannot try this in another Bristol shop and I make a photo of the bon and the trousers.” he ended.
He called security after I said I would not leave unless this was solved. I had to leave the shop.

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In the 65 years I live, I never ever lied about anything.

The only possibility that this is an old sports trousers: an employee of the store switched his own trousers and put the labels on it and on a hanger and there it hanged nicely between others.

I never ever think about such things and therefore not got suspicious. Even more because all labels were on the trousers.

I’m the victim of the scam and € 19,99 poorer. I will never ever set foot in any Bristol unless this will be solved.

UPDATE January 25

After many emails finally the region manager decided to refund the money. No excuses, only for the fact that it took so long.

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Today another coaching hour for myself. After one week with enormous heart rate when I thought my heart and head would explode. A second week with the start of new volunteer work that actually is real fun because by doing it, I can help people to get their new start.

In the meantime I already had seen an article from empoweringastro.com where the connection of the upcoming New Moon with the August eclipse was mentioned. I made a tool that eclipse day. And this tool took center stage today, figuratively and literally. And an article came along on Twitter about Pluto in the natal chart .

But first things first. Pluto in my natal chart is in the 6th house. So what came up in the beginning of our conversation was about sickness and what this mean for me. It’s all about loosing control – my fear of sickness mingled with a last little bit of my wish to go to heaven again. Sickness as a sign that something needs attention and not as a guilt trip. My feeling about the maybe-explosion of my big heart was not far-fetched – the ongoing transformational journey now has reached the next stop: my heart. To let everything flow into the high heart – taking responsibility for my SELF.  Now the tool.

I had to hold it. The day I made it and when I initiated it, because of its length, it looked like an old-fashioned crutch.

There is an old saying: ‘ walking with your soul under your arm ‘ and that is the top shell with the gold in it on top of the tool. The three small ones – I had to feel it – they are my parents and my grandmother, now supporting me in my quest and I have to take them in with love because they gave me life. Here the message came that the three are really over to the other world now and therefore able to send positive energy finally.” So after all it’s a crutch in some way. Hold the tool.” I took it into my left hand, closed my eyes and there it was – not under my arm to be positioned but in front of me, right in the middle. ” It’s my spine and the curve is precisely underneath my heart and if I turn it around the curve goes right into my heart.” “That’s it, my coach said, the energy has to come into flow to your heart and not be blocked anymore, taking full responsibility for your souls’ journey, yourself and love yourself in all that you are.  By the way – I had to say out loud that I am proud about myself and what I managed to heal…..was not easy.

What can help the process is Plantain

Plantain grew massive around the Municipality planter I’m gardening. My neighbors thought of it as weeds and it had to go….The latin name of the plantain is plantago lanceolata. Lancelot who fought for love and whose name meaning in celtic is son of fate.

That all was the drive to bring man and woman together in their new home: my golden heart.

Let’s keep one eye on November 20. That’s when the Sun in its last day of Scorpio squares the degree of that big total solar eclipse of August that crossed America from ‘…sea to shining sea’ at 29º Leo. These are trigger points releasing over time more of that reset energy. If you have planets at 29º of most signs, you will feel the effect most strongly. New Moon November, 18

Inside degree for LEO 29
A broken sword.
Consecration to a higher power. The giving-over of the personal will–the marvel of root change. Coming to the end of your own path, and it is just the beginning of the greater way. The heart must open. The infinite must be born inside. The destiny-necessity is there–so much karmic backlog. So many ways to be right and to be wrong. The realization in the very midst that there is nobody listening to the old tale and everybody is awaiting somebody else to come through. A profound and utter doorway into a great unknown. What has been is finished. What shall be is so very different. And what is now is a question and a prayer and a destiny that must find its redemption.

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Look for stagnant energy patterns in your home, especially those connected with ancestral energies embedded in art and furniture that belonged to family members that passed away.

excerpt from the article about the Full Moon of June 9 by Nina Elshoff

Something to think about and I did. When rebuilding the attic in my childhood home which was in the family for 3 generations, most of the stuff especially Grandma collected, went out. Some things like photo’s from the war and after, war medals, money went to a museum in Cologne.During my 9 house movings all the other old stuff went piece by piece, be it because of it went broke or I just left it somewhere. There are only 2 things I kept all those years. The inherited dining services from Villeroy & Boch I only have some pieces left of. When having little children some things fall in action of doing the dishes together. Unfortunately the services are no longer part of collection Villeroy & Boch.

 

 

 

 

 

The other thing I still have is this:

Mother’s sieve, back than part of  Krups 3 Mix 3000 kitchen help – almost 50 years old. My mother did not adjust well to and lamented a lot about new electrical things father bought. The sieve survived longer than the rest of the tools, still going strong in serving me in the kitchen. The recently received old photo’s and the family marriage book of my parents do not count I suppose regarding old ancestral energy. Nothing further left from the old days & old energy’s. I let it all go, starting 1977, slowly but steady.

 

Bewaren

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Needed to do some minor shopping. That’s not something difficult you may think. You’ll never know.

Thought of doing it quick in one retailer…it was not meant to be.

Started on ROFL-mode when entering AH and seeing the big poster hanging from the ceiling:

DOWNLOAD NOW YOUR VEGETABLE GARDEN APP FOR ALL THE HELP YOU NEED WITH YOUR MINI VEGETABLE GARDEN.

For outsiders: for every 15 euro purchase you get one mini-vegetable-garden. The grown vegetable is just enough to feed a small garden gnome. And what the hack is the difficulty with those mini things you need an app for?

Laughing out loud, I passed the gate and started shopping. Sausage, bread, soya milk, water – easy finds. I also was looking for….

All the approximately 3 meters of mayonnaise from different brands – NO Rémoulade !

The first KID I found filling the shelves, I grabbed to ask if he know where I can find the Rémoulade. He looked desperately at me and then around to find another employee to help me. An older man slowly walked towards us and asked what’s the problem. “She is looking for Rémoulade.” “Must be in the mayonnaise row “, he said, let’s have a look.”  Together we went over there and he searched the 3 meter of shelves to find what I was looking for. “Not here, maybe out of assortment.” he suggested.  “All the Kühne – made with love – products are on the shelves and only Rémoulade is no longer available?” I answered.  “We have to look in the computer, please follow me.”

Had to follow him through the complete store back to the entrance where the office is. Had to go into the office and sat there to watch him looking for my product. “Can you please spell the word Rémoulade to me?” he asked. Deep within me, some part of me almost fainted by inward laughter. All the products came up but no Kühne Rémoulade.  “See!!! we only have Remia Rémoulade Sauce!”  he triumphed. “Let’s go back and look for Remia.”  I followed the man in blue back to the 3 meters mayonnaise where we both started looking for Remia Rémoulade Sauce.

– NOTHING – NADA – NOPE –

“I have to go to the computer for the product number, then find a terminal and then, with the product number, I can find the place the Remia Rémoulade Sauce is to be found within the 3 meters mayonnaise. It’s not that simple as all customers think.”

Hell of a job – the voice inside was awake again. Another woman suggested we have a look at the salad dressings. Proposal dismissed.

“It has to be here, shall I go to fetch the number?”

“No, thank you very much for your useless friendly help, I will buy it at Dirk v/d Broek.”

Meanwhile 3 other searching customers lined up to grab him. Have a lot of fun I thought sarcastically. Fetched the last products I needed and left the store after payment.

Got 2 mini vegetable gardens!!!

I donate them to the elderly home where they are put into a seed table just for show! The elders love watching them grow.

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sometimesThere is definitely change all around. Sudden change – without warning and there you go.

Yesterday and today were more Murphy’s Law then Change. There is no post office anymore. Letters and packages are sent at a post agency hosted by our local tobacconist. We only have one in the Center. Had a heavy envelope to post, bike over there just to see that it was closed due to renovation and new look. My letter was urgent so I went to grocery AH and weighed the letter on the vegetable scale – 305 gram. Calculated the necessary stamps and finally dropped it into the mailbox. Duration 40 minutes.

Today more of the same. An appointment by phone failed. I was extremely tired all day long. 17:00 I pulled myself together to do the necessary shopping at the grocery Dirk v/d Broek. They just had installed a new self-scan system…… It didn’t work properly. The old system broke down very often too. Finally, after several attempts to make it work, the employee gave up. I had to pay at an old-fashioned cash register. Change is beautiful.

Next stop Kruidvat drugstore. There were two employee’s. One was helping a child who was sent to buy medication for an one-year old baby and on conference call with his mother at home simultaneously. The employee tried to explain that you cannot put whatever medication in a baby and she advised to call a doctor. The mother, on the phone, made a fuss and finally, after having called her boss, the employee gave the medication. Meanwhile other customers had to wait for her because they had some questions and I had to return something. The young cashier was extremely tired too and had not the authorization to handle return. Standing there for 30 minutes, cake and coffee would have been nice. When the other employee finally came, she couldn’t get into the cash register …. The other customers still waiting patiently. After several attempts she got into the cash register.

Coming out of the drugstore only to see that the main entrance, a revolving door, was out-of-order again. This trip had the duration of 1 hour 30 minutes. At home,  one of my sons called to tell he was sick having problems with his throat and voice.

black-swan

Major changes often come from unpredictable chaotic, and random events. Even tiredness, sickness and broken store systems.

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Sunny Sunday Morning – nobody awake – Hoofddorp as dead except for some workers who has to install some tents for a two days show-off of our Mayor and the City Council Members at our beautiful old City Hall. For this occasion, for the first time in history, they planted pretty flowers and rose bushes around the old trees and grass alongside the street.There is also a man busy to water the plants (not often seen in this city) and cleaning the newly refurbished street and plaza in front of the old city hall. The City Council almost sold the tent but massive protest could prevent it. Now they are happy to still have the place for their show-off.

https://haarlemmermeergemeente.nl/nieuws/haarlemmermeer-ontvangt-vng-jaarcongres

hoofddorp_oude_raadhuis

 

Did not take any photo and bike to the demolition area at former Woodward garden. The following pictures show the sad, painful extent of the destruction.

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reus4Birds are all over the place and in the pond a heron was calmly waiting for some fish to have survived the demolition.

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This monumental tree, I hope, is to stay.

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UPDATE 24-07-2016

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