The process involving my grandmother and the influence this had in the female family line that started May,7 with the process painting now has come to closure.

In a former life of the soul of my grandmother happened something involving a child she never forgave herself for. That child passed on her hate towards her mother through the female line. Grandmother in this life still had self hate because of what happened back than. Me, as caring and open to energy’s as I am, took place in the energy of that child and carried it. As matter of fact this prevented me from really loving grandmother despite she being kind of a protecting godmother to me. I also, passed on by my mother, carried the self hate, preventing self love and forgiveness. Bitterness also developed. Had to do a family constellation to give all of it back through the line and I did, creating a barrier towards the old energy’s. Now I, finally, only have my own energy field left.

The process of the painting? To my biggest surprise the painting isn’t, as I thought, about grandmother – it is me. The message came through  my coach Ria Winterman
“There is something you did not see and it is that middle you worked on….in the beginning it is more outgoing, first not rotating at all, then the movement,and in the latter changes you worked back inside and closed with the walnut.Your own process. Back towards you as you are.” Indeed I didn’t see that.

This brings us to the painting made June, 9th
What was made for a Sunday drawing challenge in fact is connected to the process painting. Also the tool I had made ages ago and no idea what fore. The blue painting is the elaboration of what’s behind the walnut in the process painting. I’m very fond of both paintings and they will be framed as soon as possible and the tool somehow with them on the wall. So far what was going on Monday 3rd with the full moon.

Along this 3 month process I happened to get a newsletter of Irida webshop offering Brazilian Rhinestone . One immediately had my attention and I ordered it. Yesterday it arrived and after a long sea salt bath in the full moon it now enliven my altar. To me it look like a man and a woman are hugging. The assignment to do: who I am now and putting that in writing….

 Photo by Hendrik J.J. Meijer

A few days ago I learned, that the trees in our courtyard are Amber trees, Liquidambar orientalis, and I take care of one of them.  information about the healing quality’s in dutch

The healing power of the tree cares for the lungs and the Medicinal Incense Amber has a stimulating effect on the spleen, liver, kidneys, thyroid and heart. The active ingredient is also available as an info about the essential oil in dutch

This morning I suddenly noticed, that the amber tree seed balls resembles COVID19 .  COVID19 attack the lungs but also the heart, blood circulation and more and COVID19 came, to bring us back to love with ourselves, our own rhythm and Mother Nature.  The same things the tree can help you with. What makes you sick is also the cure as of now research is going on which shows that bats carry something that give them the ability to survive deadly sicknesses.

And a friend of mine yesterday came with another down to earth knowledge: with the leaves of the tree you can shine your shoes.

Now my own blood type and the food to eat for this blood type.

Blood type O (the hunter):
oldest and most common blood type, from which the other and thus more recent blood types have developed. The survivor at the top of the food chain, equipped with a strong immune system. Willing and able to destroy anyone, friend or foe alike. People with this blood type are carnivores with a strong digestive system and an overactive immune system that do not tolerate dietary and environmental changes. They are strong, independent, opportunistic, energetic, social, realistic, outgoing and clear in their emotional expression. They have leadership qualities and see the main lines. They control stress through action and sports. Need to move a lot and activate their metabolism. If not, they become fat and lifeless.
cut or limit the intake of: carbohydrates such as bread, potatoes (including potato starch and chips) and grains as much as possible. Especially avoid wheat in all its forms (bread, pastries, biscuits, pasta, couscous), corn (also corn starch), dairy products, vinegar, sparkling water, soft drinks, coffee, orange (juice), vitamins A and E (due to the tendency to slow blood clotting).
say yes to: proteins that you mainly get from chicken, soy products, lean red meat and fatty fish. Carbohydrates from rice, rye and spelled. The vitamins C, K and the entire B complex that are beneficial to you, just like calcium (broccoli and salmon with canned bone) and iodine.
THICK AND SLIMMERS for blood group O:
greatly slow down the metabolism: wheat, corn, kidney beans, white beans, lentils, mustard, raw cabbage sprouts-cauliflower.
speed up the metabolism: kelp, seaweeds, sea vegetables, fish and shellfish, iodized salt, liver, red meat, kale, spinach, broccoli.
And just as important: Exercise a lot. Any activity is beneficial to you. This way you stay fitter and you can better manage stress. Use the stairs and your legs as much as possible instead of the lift and your car. If possible, practice sports that tire you and increase your heart rate, such as jogging, tennis, aerobics, or squash. If you do not eat in accordance with your blood type, you will eventually have a chance of stomach ulcers, arthritis, inflammation, slow thyroid function, allergies, blood clotting disorders and autoimmune diseases.

Bread and bread products
Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Bread of 100% sprouted wheat Gingerbread Oat bread
Rye bread Corn bread
Rice cakes Wheat bread
Rolls / balls

Bread spreads
Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Apple syrup Chcolade paste milk
Chocolate paste pure Sprinkles milk
Sprinkles pure Peanut butter

Dairy products
Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Butter Goat Milk
Eggs Buttermilk
Cottage cheese
Low-fat margarine
Whipped cream

Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Plums Apple Strawberries
Figs Lemon Pineapple
Grapes Banana
Raspberry Blackberries
Kiwi Coconut
Pear Mandarin
Orange apple

Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Mihoen Wheat pasta

Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Sweet potatoes Endive Potatoes
Kale Peas Eggplant
Broccoli Cucumber Beetroot
Dandelion Paprika Cauliflower
Red pepper Lettuce Mushrooms
Leek Green Beans Corn
Spinach Tomatoes Rhubarb
Onions Red cabbage

Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Veal Chicken Bacon
Lamb Mussels Ham
Minced Beef Eel Pork
Beef Tuna Goose
Fried fish

Favorably Neutral Avoidance
Pineapple juice Beer Apple juice
Cherry juice Green tea Coffee
Liquorice tea Wine Black tea

All the food and drinks named to be not favorable for my blood type are the foods I don’t like to eat since I was a little child. Had to by my parents with the effect of being an overweight with little energy. The blood type diet to me is a logical and healthy finding.

Blood Type A Personality Type

Kind and compassionate individuals who put others’ interests and needs before their own. While they may seem calm on the outside, they often suffer from inner turmoil and anxiety.

People with blood type A personality are excellent listeners and make good friends. Although they get along with others quite well, it is often achieved at expense of their own balance and happiness. To be liked by others they bottle up their emotions, which takes its toll on their nervous system. It is beneficial for them to take time alone and rest well.

The best jobs for this personality type are jobs that don’t require much contact with other people like programmers, accountants, writers or librarians.

What about love? They are most compatible with their own type or AB type.

More: http://dadamo.com/txt/index.pl?1003

Blood Type Personality B

Outgoing and friendly, this type is people person. Unlike type A, type B doesn’t do that at expense of his own feelings and well-being, it comes to him naturally without any effort. Contact with people doesn’t wear him off and he will do great as a leader or any type of job that requires dealing with people.

Type B is highly adjustable, he can feel people. He is into body language and other methods of deciphering others. People with blood type B personality type rely on their intuition and trust themselves.

Once again, they are most compatible with their own personality type and AB. Talking about discrimination, Korean women consider men with blood type B personality not suitable for marriage due to their playful and flirty disposition.

More: http://www.dadamo.com/txt/index.pl?1006

Blood Type AB Personality

Freedom-loving AB’s are strong and rational people. They don’t worry about little things and usually can assess their life challenges without emotions getting in the way. Despite their love for freedom and independent thinking they don’t have any issues when it comes to relationships and are quite popular.

More: http://www.dadamo.com/txt/index.pl?1005



Blood Type O Personality Type

This type is described as responsible, practical and rule-conscious and organized. They make excellent leaders and their determination helps them achieve their goals. While they are usually liked by other people, they are somewhat loners and need a lot of time alone.

Typically type O is physically strong and can find success in sports.

In love they are most happy with their own type or AB type (seems like AB type is really lucky in love).

The Type O Profile

Type O was an early success formula. It is the only blood type that carries two opposing blood type antibodies (one blood type A and another against blood type B). These antibodies undoubtedly conveyed some survival advantage, as many of the common diseases that plagued our ancestors possessed markers (antigens) that simulated the other blood types. Thus, what is commonly considered a transfusion complication was, in type O, a very useful defensive benefit. However, when misdirected, this innate immune reactivity can sometimes get in the way of good health. Blood Type O may be predisposed to certain illnesses, such as ulcers and thyroid disorders. In the 1950’s it was discovered that Type O’s had about twice the instances of ulcers of all kinds than the other blood types. These findings have been replicated many times since then.

Type O Strengths and Weaknesses

We’ve already mentioned the tendency of type O towards higher levels of stomach acid. There is also another unique characteristic of type O that is perhaps even more important: This blood type has a very well-developed ability to digest meals that contain both protein and fat. This is because two chemicals used by the digestive tract, an enzyme called intestinal alkaline phosphatase, and a lipoprotein called ApoB48 are secreted into the digestive tract in much higher amounts by type O’s. These digestive factors greatly enhance the ability of type O to not only metabolize the choelsterol in animal products more efficiently, but also greatly increase their ability to heal their digestive tract and better assimilate calcium. However, these very same strengths come at a cost: in Type O simple carbohydrates, especially from grains, are more easily converted into fats and triglycerides. Many grains also contain reactive proteins called lectins that can ramp up the type O immune system, resulting in unwanted inflammation and auto-immunity.

Manage Your Type O Stress

The legacy of your Type O ancestry causes an immediate “fight or flight” response in people of this blood type. However, this finely tuned response to stress, so vital in early Type O’s, is not always so beneficial in modern times. The Type O response can cause bouts of excessive anger, temper tantrums, hyperactivity and even create a severe enough chemical imbalance to bring about a manic episode. Since there is a powerful, synergistic relationship between the release of dopamine and feelings of reward, Type O is more vulnerable to destructive behaviors when overly tired, depressed or bored. These can include gambling, sensation seeking, risk taking, substance abuse and impulsivity. To avoid becoming overstressed, follow the Type O diet, which focuses on lean, organic meats, vegetables and fruits and avoid wheat and dairy which can be triggers for digestive and health issues in Type O. Additionally, he suggests that Type O’s avoid caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine can be particularly harmful because of its tendency to raise adrenaline and noradrenaline, which are already high for Type O’s.

Energize – The Essential Exercise Component

Type O’s benefit tremendously from brisk regular exercise that taxes the cardiovascular and muscular skeletal system. But the benefit derived surpasses the goal of physical fitness. Type O also derives the benefit of a well timed chemical release system. The act of physical exercise releases a swarm of neurotransmitter activity that acts as a tonic for the entire system. The Type O who exercises regularly also has a better emotional response. You are more emotionally balanced as a result of well regulated, efficient chemical transport system. More than any other blood type, O’s rely on physical exercise to maintain physical health and emotional balance. Engage in regular physical activity three to four times per week. For best results, engage in aerobic activity for thirty to forty five minutes at least four times per week. If you are easily bored, choose two or three different exercises and vary your routine.

Live Right!

In addition to exercising and eating foods that are Right For Your Type, here are a few key lifestyle strategies for Type O individuals:

  • Develop clear plans for goals and tasks – annual, monthly, weekly, daily to avoid impulsivity.
  • Make lifestyle changes gradually, rather than trying to tackle everything at once.
  • Eat all meals, even snacks, seated at a table.
  • Chew slowly and put your fork down between bites of food.
  • Avoid making big decisions or spending money when stressed.
  • Do something physical when you feel anxious.
  • Engage in thirty to forty five minutes of aerobic exercise at least four times per week.
  • When you crave a pleasure releasing-substance (alcohol, tobacco, sugar), do something physical.

Friday, June 5, with the Full Moon,I had signed up for the  Full Moon Webinar with M. v/d Knaap  
Besides some heavy irritation at the beginning, the actual reality within made itself known. Saturday was a day to reboot and process. Sunday there was the usual #ichgebeauf drawing challenge by @kriegundfreitag. This time: let your subconsciousness draw or paint without thinking. I always paint this way when an energy-painting will be made. So no big deal I thought.
Started with blue acrylic paint and let my hands do. Poured water over the canvas, covered with tin foil and let my hands do whatever moves they wanted. The base of the painting. Proceeded with water colors. The middle is made by glue.

A friend of mine saw it and made the connection to a tool I have since forever. Both, the painting and the tool, connect to the high heart mentioned during the webinar. The painting shows the new world in progress – the high heart knows the way.

My son also was fascinated – looks like a map he said and lots of water. He took the photos of both.


As I already thought, my grandmother from mother’s side is involved in the process seen in the paintings of the Lady of the Lake in the post From eye to Avalon.  Had send a request to get her birth certificate in March to have a deeper look at Grandmother. That arrived April, 29. Have been investigating Grandmother with all I can and got a pretty good picture of how she was, how she could have been and why her life was as it was. Simultaneously I got a request to forward a flyer from a friend of a friend who work with a guide and channel messages to your questions. Tried it first, because I want to be sure its worth while. That message arrived May, 4. Some tears but also grumpiness came up. Yesterday I came across the full moon article by Nadia Gilchrist
in which was mentioned that the message one received on May, 4, is part of the full moon, thus the channeling.

Sunday I had already the feeling I had to paint and yesterday bought a big canvas. This afternoon with the full moon I painted. Here it is.

Today, Sunday May 10, followed the feeling that the painting has to change. Removed the feathers and dripped with white all around the painting – but still – this is work in progress I suppose.

Update May 15, 2020:

Out of the blue there suddenly was the ignition to implement the next step to the painting…..

Maybe its Sunday who does it. Today, Sunday, May 17, 2020 I changed the painting again. The middle was annoying – now its a spiral.

Thought the last one was the grande finale but no. Yesterday evening, June,4, the red had to be added.


One spot had to be changed and I was not sure which one. Today, Sunday, July 12, I found myself painting again………… The middle ……………Center piece is a walnut!

The Walnut tree is a symbol of intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, and inspiration. It’s synonymous with intellect and mental aptitude – even the nuts resemble the brain! Native Americans see the Walnut as a symbol clarity and focus, gathering of energy, and beginning new projects. https://www.northwoodrings.com Further the Walnut’s symbolism is home.

Yesterday had a lot of drawing challenges. 1:  @AnimalAlphabets #MythicalAlphabet animal for J – Jasconius and we had World Tapir Day. Started with the Jasconius because I felt most attracted to this myth and of course as a turtle.

Jasconius – a fabled sea creature, variously described as a large whale or vast sea turtle with huge spines on the ridge of its back. It is always described as being huge where it is often mistaken for an island and appears to be rocky with crevices and valleys with trees and greenery and having sand dunes all over it.

Turtle – Symbol of the world, of the Earth, Ability to stay grounded, even in moments of disturbances and chaos, slowing down, pacing yourself, determination, persistence, emotional strength and understanding and ancient wisdom

And okay, because my Chinese sign is Dragon – lets draw that dragon having a good time resting on the balcony of a tower.

The Tapir was the last to draw. First I had no intention to do so. But Tapir as an animal totem has much to offer. Didn’t know that one of it’s totem powers is awaken to your magical power. Suits my current inner development so let’s do it. I intuitively drew the tapir with a red vest. The magicians colors are black/red. So now I know why.

Tapir’s wisdom include: toughness, understanding shyness, longevity, connection to the horse and rhinoceros, gentleness, ability to remain unchanged by time, magic.

I use what comes my way as a sign or metaphor, so it was a busy day yesterday.

Stumbled upon this extra information about the Full Moon April, 8 and it rang a bell somehow.

But first things first. Two weeks ago my neighbor asked me what happened to my left eye. Me having no idea that there was something wrong asked the reason for her question. “it’s all bloody.” Hadn’t noticed in the morning. Must have happened during sleep. Nothing happens without a reason so I looked it up. Being to hard on oneself mixed with unconscious fear. So unconscious, I thought, I even didn’t notice the deep dark red left eye.

We have the Corona Pandemic which is also related, among abuse of power and money or having a victim consciousness, to fear. Fear has an impact on the lungs so I made an appointment with my personal coach.

The message that came through was: ” It’s not fear in the common sense. It’s a family line thing, a fear from way back that went subcutaneously and became suspicion – of people. Originated during the fall of Avalon, went through the black Plague in Venice. Back then the thoughts were: all good is destroyed and all mysticism went locked away – it’s not livable. Groups of people, mysticism, faith and intuitive living got suppressed.”

The hints were already there. The drawing challenge of the knights of the round table and Corona virus I had a whale of a time with. And for another drawing challenge I used my shamanic Venice lady.

This morning the drawing challenge of the Lady of the Lake connected to Avalon too. So it was quite clear that by painting the lady of the Lake, I would be able to open the lock of all spirituality, mysticism, intuition, the other way of living and gaining knowledge again.

Drew two Ladies of the Lake – one for the drawing challenge on Twitter. Afterwards the urge to paint another Lady of the Lake. The one with the sword – giving back strength to the locked themes. The other is painted intuitively – pure water running up and down again with love.

Comment by my coach when seeing the paintings: the first make the break through, the second helps to flow again.

I think it would be good to draw the #AnimalAlphabets Mythical Ijiraq who is a real #shapeshifter and transformation in Inuit mythology.

I had ordered the writing of Ruth Siegenthaler Das Jahr 2020 – ein epochales Übergangsjahr that gave deep insights into the upcoming months and what to expect and to do. Worth the while reading it, you can order it in the shop of Ruth Siegenthaler.

Jupiter and Pluto are now figuratively initiating a final cleaning by asking us to clear up all the doubts and life lies and to face all the consequences of the truth as it presents itself

A spiritual spring cleaning. Furthermore, among other actions, we go back looking at our inner child and our relation to mother and what is really true. Mother – could write books about all the healing I already faced around my relationship with mother but also with father.

Yesterday a new post by Astrobutterfly was in my mail. Headline was Chiron the wounded healer and the first thought was – not again ….Curious as I am I opened the post nevertheless and found new information.

The Wounded Healer Generation – If you are born between 1950 and 1989 you have Chiron opposite Uranus in your chart!

If a whole generation has this opposition in their natal chart, it must have quite some meaning so I read the post. Interesting indeed. Next question – what does it mean within my personal system and how does it fit into all I already know about me, my past and my purpose in this life?
Came along some interesting websites with more information.

Chiron in houses and sign

Chiron natal aspects

Chiron opposition Uranus

You find your personal information there, if you have your natal chart information where your Chiron and Uranus placements are.

When I learned something during my inner soul journey than it is that everything we meet in life is by our own soul choice to learn the lessons we wanted to learn this time around. Our ‘negative ‘ side attracts some negative experiences so we can learn to move to more positive actions and attract positive people in our life. All children complain and ramble about their youth, their family and their parents, mother or father or both. Necessary to make the break and move into your own life, learn about who you are. Approximately around your 30’s you turn around and have a good look at your ancestral linage.

Is it true what you thought about your parents? Is it true that your experiences in life, your sickness and your mental state is the fault of your family? It isn’t but it takes a lot of guts to let go of your children’s vision of reality and take the truth about you. Parents treat each and every child differently and each and every child in a family complains about other things. Parents do their job as promised long before you were born. When you finally are able to see the true you with all negative and positive you can clearly see the pattern in your family and ancestral linage. Back to Chiron.

My Chiron is in my 10th house in Capricorn and Uranus in my 5th house in Cancer.

information about the houses in Dutch

information about the houses in English

Chiron – Uranus

Core belief: I am different, I don’t belong

Chiron Uranus has a tremendous fear of standing out, a fear of being too unique, too different, too eccentric. The core belief here is “I don’t belong”, and so despite unique gifts and eccentricities which make the person quite talented, there is a consistent reluctance in being oneself, in all of its individuality, as the core belief is that if the person truly shows who they are, they will be ostracized. A Chiron – Uranus person is looking to heal this core belief and display their Uranian gifts, as it is truly by standing out and accepting to be “singled out”, that they will experience a healing of their Chiron.  https://www.lookupthestars.com/post/chiron-in-aspect-in-the-natal-chart

It is true that I was not seen or heard when young. Even when pregnant with me, mother denied being pregnant, the very existing of me, and what I learned later in life, my twin brother who died in the womb during pregnancy. My parents died young. Grandmother was the soothing influence, as were other elderly people in our neighborhood. It is true that I had to struggle to find my place in society. My father did not support me. Took me years to finally know what my purpose in life is and tell it. I disgust people who abuse their authority. I was afraid of the police as a kid. I was forced to follow the ancestral path of being a local government official of the Municipality of Cologne. My father and grandfather worked for the German Postal Service. This was supposed to be a secure job til all eternity. Ultimately life’s experiences forced me to quit the job, sell the family house and I even emigrated to put distance to whatever were. I know and experienced that my calling and purpose in life lies in the field of healing. I am a shaman by nature. In former life’s I worked with herbs. Still have to recall all this knowledge.  I love nature, animals and children to work with. Regarding my parents, I now can see by this final knowledge about Chiron in opposition to Uranus a last missing link to let go of the last bit of anger towards my parents and myself.

Up to now I had resentments about myself for not being where I have to be: a fully working shaman. My truth. We all finally come home, home to ourselves in gratitude and love to our family who gave us life and lessons we needed to learn and break free into the new future.


Next sequel

October, 9, 2014 I painted this:

Sunday, February 9, 2020 I jammed with Henna powder and got this:

They belong together – the Henna Powder Painting is the sequel of the other. Progression.. PS: came around this:

Mercury Rx in Pisces sextile Pallas in Capricorn (12 deg)

This is a continuation of Mercury and Pallas’ first sextile on Feb 9th: “Unstructured ideas are integrated with strategies. The traditional solution is blended with something more whimsical or empathetic. Excellent for grounding hints/dreams in the real world and applying them to something more focused.”

Today, you examine or question the integration of dreams and practical solutions. Look more closely at the whispered translation and be prepared for some revisions. This is not a straightforward process, and it will conclude in April:

Apr 8th: Mercury direct sextile Pallas (26 deg)

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