Yesterday, after a short period of rest and meditation, suddenly I had the drive to work on this beauty. The tool is not initiated yet.



“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~ C.G. Jung

Yesterday evening, I came across a Tweet from @ActionComplete with this photo. As with allergies, the thing one is allergic to, is the right remedy also.

My own fears-insight-tour started, when I got three mirrors for my first practice-room. One was about detecting fear. A very strong mirror people were afraid of   very often.

First and number one fear: my throat chakra – saying what you really want to say which – was blocked. The mirror did its work to make that clear. Second fear – acrophobia – the fear of heights – which is not the fear about being somewhere high above but the fear of coming down into your body, your life and getting to know yourself inside out. Years later during family constellation work I had a good look at all my fears. All people in the room stood up one by one to come as a fear standing behind me. Something about 12 or even 13 people. One of them even was my fear to give birth when pregnant with my first child. My fear of being followed, fear of the dark, you name it I had it. All are gone by now so I could not think of something I’m still afraid of and which I have to do to overcome the fear. There only still are some remains of my fear to be without money and maybe this

Change is inevitable and pressing right now. Money is a bit skint but manageable – living with what is in acceptance and devotion. It’s a bit like the articles you can read – see following links.


Mr. Moneymustache

Surrender is another one because of losing control. So far my fears – what are yours? Would love to read your answers.


As I wrote in My Easter Junction April was a month of heavy pain which was gone by Easter Sunday. Followed by my legs who are not in the mood. My coach sent mail that I had to wait until May 17 for my appointment. The days after the mail I learned via different sources, for example Jessica Adams and Nadia Gilchrist, that May 17th was the start of an energy vortex and a portal for spiritual guidance until Sunday 21.

The tool of April was the main course during our conversation.

Use what happens to your advantage near Wednesday 17th May…..

Jessica Adams

Don’t miss out on what can be an extraordinary window! Make an extra effort and take definitive action to build the next step towards a life more authentic.

Crystal Pomeroy

The tool opened all old wounds of my youth and life at once together with anger how I was treated by my parents and others. The anger is released now – it was the unconscious trigger for a lot of self-sabotage. My hip dysplasia, the operation back than and how my father forced me to walk with crochets through the woods. His motto – don’t complain – walk. I was born with small hips. My mothers potty training and the fact that I could walk when 9 months old caused the dysplasia. All the pressure to grow quicker than possible resulted in unconscious survival mode: no one ever will force me to do something. I will not walk. When human beings are forced to do things to early in life atychiphobia is born. Talked about this some days ago with @NatureRunsWild on Twitter. This all together blocked everything around the hips.

During the session I had to hold the tool and feel if and where pain would arise. Flight modus between the shoulder blades – know that and also how to prevent it. My stomach started again, some fear.The coming days I have to meditate with the tool and feel old pain and release into the ground. After each meditation a brisk walk in my own rhythm to unlock the blockage on walking forward. No more pressure, not even by myself . I can let go and trust my intuition, although I am still a bit afraid of doing so due to the scars from former life’s.

When no pain come up any more the next tool has to be invoked – one of these…..

There was a message with a hint delivered yesterday. When I woke up, the living room and my plants were full of ants. Nature and animals are messengers of what can be expected or has to be done.

See ants in the house meaning in Dutch Here.





Living in the city is a risk factor. It’s worth while to listen to the speech of psychiatrist Mazda Adli.

TEDxspeach Mazda Adli here

My own experience in this was huge. Back in 2003 I spend one week at Marmonfosse in France
Located on a mountain in the middle of nature. No noise except the sound of the wind in the trees and the sounds of animals such as all kind of birds. I often sat outside during the night – a breath-taking experience. No lights – only the night sky with millions of stars in the city you never see due to the fact there it is never really dark. Owls call through the forest, fire flies danced and on the background the murmur of the rippling water of the well.

After 3 days some of the group needed some stuff and we decided to drive to the nearest city. The energy there felt overwhelming in every way, although it was not a very big city.

I suppose, you can only feel the difference when being in nature for several days. We did our shopping as quick as possible and drove back to Marmonfosse.

When at home again, it took me a week to get adjusted to city life despite the fact that Hoofddorp, where I live, is not really thát big. To me, it is absolutely necessary to have a garden to reduce stress levels.

Of course, as with all and everything in life, how and to which level one react to stress factors in the city depends on one’s stamina, personality and DNA.

Brain activity when being in nature here – in dutch

Your style

Yesterday Nina Elshof, Feng Shui Academy  posted a question on Facebook to choose a style you like.

Make a choice:

Today she let us know what element your choice is: answers

Before you click on answers, first make your choice and then go and see.

I choose picture 1 and 5.

Style 1 stands for wood.
Wood grows, develops and always is in full motion with impatience. It does not interfere with the environment. It therefore helps you to be yourself independently and autonomously. Wood also helps to renew  yourself and get moving. Wood support to put into words everything you care into, for example, writing a book. At the same time, wood is like a flower ball bearing the promise of a beautiful flower, carrying  and inviting many hidden talents and qualities to blossom.

My Feng Shui profile is 3-4-4 which is all wood – so my choice for picture 1 is all about me and the right choice.

During the course of my life I learned to integrate the element of water more and more, especially the reconnecting part with my own source which was not that easy.Took a lot of inner development and search to finally find the original goal of this life. My work colours are blue/white I also learned quite soe time ago. Everybody has a working colour. You can use this as cloths your wear to work or for your own business. Choosing No 5 suites this perfectly.

Style 5 stands for water.
Water is mobile and flexible and is always capable of adapting. It’s an element that shows as no other  how to move with the flow of life. How you can, for example, flow with your emotions,  instead of  your emotions  flooding you. At the same time, water is quiet and cool. So you can really relax with water. It helps you to reconnect to your own source and to get clear what your original goal is in this life.

So make your choice of one of the above pictures and go see your answer.

For more info about Nina Elshof, FengShui Academie



Just stumbled upon the next week horoscope by Nadia Gilchrist . The first thing that rang a bell was this part:

Also on April 20th (this is a big day)Mercury Rx retreats into Aries a few hours after it conjoins the Sun. New insight that you unearth can be applied to an initial impulse/conversation that first sparked around March 30th.

That was the day I found the root .

The next paragraph that hit me was:

However, also on April 21st we have the final square between Venus in Pisces and Saturn Rx in Sag. So you will be dealing with painful limits that have been around since April 8th.

That was the day I initiated the root-tool  and an awful week started.

From that day on I struggled with heavy pain around the diaphragm, back pain and an outrageously beating heart. Could not eat much, sit long, had to move around to bear the pain or lay down repeatedly. There is really something around core wounding going on, working in layers but I still cannot nail down the concrete issue.

Some relieve came with the Tuina Massage with acupuncture I decided to undergo all of a sudden. Some pain areas disappeared the next day and the diaphragm slowly recovered. Each night I slept 13 hours for 7 days in a row.

Yesterday, on Holy Saturday,  I was feeling a bit better and could eat normally. Today, Easter Sunday Morning, for the first time in days, I feel okay.

Remarkable fact, at least to me, with the initiation of the tool was, that I had to sit down while doing it. Finally I had to cross myself three times with the tool.

The cross – the symbol of the Holy Week. The cross also is the sign for the total human with spirit – as above so below – so left so right.



Four days passed before got clear how the top had to be done.The top had to be locking like whirling energy. Tomorrow the tool will be initiated with its specific power.


By happenstance also a little painting came up.






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