Let’s start with the paintings of  New Years Eve Rorschachtest   and    January 1st Rorschachtest

Except the dancing, which is true, there is the holy matrimony of inner woman and man. Also right in the middle, there is the spine. Left and right, down and above, everything comes together as it is supposed to be within. The January 1st color jamming shows something more in-depth and tells about layers. The comment made by @kritzelich is right, concerning the chicken. Concerning the owl, its not but a fish.Here the symbolism of both.

When the chicken spirit crosses your path, know that it brings good luck and prosperity, indicates overall good health for you and your loved ones. The chicken totem is your potent protector when it comes to negative energies that threaten to enter your world

When fish spirit comes into your life, it gives you a very powerful connection with the Water element.
This is the element of mystery and creativity. The fish spirit animal plays an important role in your subconscious. It helps you to make powerful decisions that affect your waking life in a very positive way.
The world below carries a lot of mystery. The fish spirit guide helps you to dig beneath the surface to conceal knowledge that is usually not seen.
For you, the fish is a symbol of what’s obscure on your life. These things prevail in most of your activities.
The fish spirit water enhances your level of fertility and femininity. Also, it enables you to enjoy prosperity and good luck.

The symbolism connected to my inner reality means that the chicken was set as disguise and protection for the spiritual fish until the fish is strong enough to come to the fore. He is looking in the mirror and sees the chicken he is not.Also suiting the chicken spirit connection to the bunch of fears I had when really young and my victim mentality because chicken were seen as holy and used as offer to the gods.It is time now to let go of the chicken (shit) shield and come to terms with the fish, my real me. I have to make a fish tool. The branches I happened to find as usual right in time.

Now we come to the drawing and painting you can see in Saturn-Pluto-Conjunction
Lets start with the symbolism of the penguin and the whale.

Whale  is the symbol of good luck. It symbolizes limitless creativity that will make all your biggest dreams possible.  The whale represents your intuition and awareness that guide you to make the best decisions. The whale is commonly associated with emotion, inner truth, and creativity.
Physical and emotional healing
Keeper of history
Importance of family and community
Emotional rebirth
Peaceful strength

Penguin’s symbolism The period of darkness that you’ve been experiencing is now ending. There is light at the end of this tunnel!
Penguin is reminding you that although things may seem chaotic right now, there is a definite order in this chaos. Thus it is important to realize that by continually moving forward with your plans and dreams and handling each small piece as it comes up. The most chaotic time always is just before a big breakthrough happens. Just keep flexible and remain centered within yourself so that you can keep moving forward. Believe that you have a good connection between the physical and the spiritual ( painting of New Years Eve) and that you will naturally know what to do next.

As I already assumed, the swollen leg of the penguin is connected to my inner, and unfortunately also outer, reality. My left ankle….the lower leg. There some old fears around the talents of the fish are hiding as well as anger for what could have been but was not, some guilt trip over old faults despite knowing that everybody makes faults during the growing up learning of life route. What has the whale got to do with this? He is not flying by, looking depressed or angry. No, he cannot swim further because there is no doorway yet for the emotional rebirth. This symbolism suites the actual supporting energy’s – we are all on our way through the door to our new us, our new life but don’t find the path yet. That’s how I actually feel, besides a little bit disgruntled.

The grande finale therefore is the painting of the shedding dragon – liberation and freedom.

An inspirational day it was today despite the tension I feel. This morning, after a Twitter drawing challenge, I did a quick minimalist drawing as test. Just curious if I can do it. A penguin and a whale. When seeing what I had drawn, I had to laugh because the two animals look like what is me in real life. The penguin’s left leg a bit swollen and the whale is not amused. Funny remark on Twitter : ” that bird would look surprised if suddenly a fish flew by….damned climate change.”

Had a canvas waiting and the drive to paint kept me waiting. When it finally hit, the painting was ready in no time. All done with eyes closed. Following my hands to choose a color, where to put it and what to do with it. Painted with my hands. Only the finishing touch in gold is done with a brush. I have the feeling that my inner dragon is shedding…..

The first morning of the New Year I messed up colors again to see if there could be new insights to gain.

Two people answered to this one and the predictions are nice.

A chicken look in the mirror.
Time for reflection and self-awareness.
And if “chicken” is too stupid for you – it could also be an owl

A coati that wallows comfortably in the dirt … Phew … it took me a long time to recognize something. And what does that mean now?

Looking after others, being generous with your time and space, foraging, finding wisdom in unexpected places, being highly adaptable, sniffing out the truth, accepting the imposing presence of others, integration and assimilation, physical play.

@kritzelich on Twitter came with the idea @rot_grad had last year to mess around with colors like the Rorschachtest. Then let others predict your future in 2020. Great idea so why wait until December 31? Messed around 3 colors and covered it with another paper with in mind what will 2020 may be like. Great fun to do so try it yourself. Here are the two outcomes.

Some of my followers on Twitter react, read their replies

A woman runs to the left, distorted by motion blur: your year will be very dynamic!

I see a scorpion in it … You have to be careful if you want to mess with him, he knows how to defend himself and has a hard shell that protects him from the hardship of the world.

Hmm, I see dancing people, movement and a kiss.
Maybe you will dance in Africa next year?

People dance in circles, holding hands. Kind of folkloric. Didn’t read @ohmadmary ‘s sight until I looked at it (I swear!)

@moorfrau I see a wildebeest but don’t know what it has to do with you.

I see an obese dragonfly. You will take off and float around elegantly, even if there are things that want to make it difficult for you.

Looked up the meaning of Gnu animal totem: You are facing a great decision about moving. You are needing the strength of family and groups of people. Senses are enhanced. You need to follow your hunches. Pace of life will be speedy.

Woke up this morning with the order in my head “draw a Wildebeest” and I did. Maybe drawing one will give the forecast more energy.

Merry Christmas

Black Bird

The day, @kreafavo launched again one of her drawing challenges from her #glasvollideen (bowl of ideas) the person, I took care of for two months, peacefully died that very same morning. In the last two days and nights before he died, he opened a new door for me through which I went astonished and did what had to be done there.  I had no time, head or heart to draw that day and the days after. The challenge could not have been more appropriate. When black bird appears something new enter your life. The challenge came up on Twitter and almost simultaneously the phone rang. See the meaning of black bird.

The power animal Black Bird shows us all the possibilities that lie ahead of us and gives us the courage to tackle new projects, new ideas or projects. Sometimes under this influence it is necessary to renounce certain habits or let go of people.

Today the Black Bird had to be done to process it all – to free my inner horse from it all – my body has a hard time. Maybe, doing the drawing and the writing will help to let everything flow…. After the funeral the future is calling again with grief as background for some time.


It all started with the idea of @artbypunktraum to give some of her paintings for Christmas – tell me what you would like. But @AnaOrid3 said that an exchange would be more fun. So I asked her what she would like to have and she wanted one of my dog paintings. Asking me what I would like to have.

I was named after Saint Gertrud with mouse so I said, draw me a mouse. And she did. A wonderful, well feed field vole. Happy me \O/ 


One of the drawing themes for November was the quince. When I looked at it again, it occurred to me, that I am in the middle of the fruit, the white spot, white only to the knee, the green leaves as protection of the heart and my feet deeply rooted in the earth. In the brown stalk I also saw a blue horse that stretches all 4 legs as if it is exhausted. The drawing actually fits well with all that is going on inside and out. Looked up the the meaning of the quince and found this:

Element: earth

The fruits are very healthy, but they are only consumed when cooked. Although they are not inedible raw, but they taste hard like cooking pears, sour, bitter and hairy. The quince is the namesake of the jam (derived from the Portuguese name for quince “marmelo”). It is a traditional cure and tonic for cough, abrasions, burns, stomach and intestinal complaints. The uncut seeds and leaves are used for tea.

Spiritual meaning: the quince is a symbol of love and fertility, wisdom and loyalty, happiness and protection, health and skills. It is considered to be the original form of pome fruits of today. Among the Greeks, it was one of the attributes and sacred fruits of the goddess of love, Aphrodite. In the Italian and southern Slavic areas it is often used magically, for example by the gypsies in Hungary for love and fertility magic and to protect the animals. She must take strong and beautiful children. The Cretan apple, as it is called, has aphrodisiac properties and was already a popular space frieze for the Romans. The leaves also smell and give off a seductive scent, which gives a good mood especially in winter. The fruits look like muscular apples and have a powerful, stocky and robust design vocabulary. The downy leaves and delicate flowers, on the other hand, look soft, warm and beautiful. Male and female characteristics unite.

Talked about it with my personal coach, wondering if the drawing actually had a deeper meaning as many of my paintings have. She confirmed with the words: The symbolism is right for you now. Your heart isn’t locked, not entirely; you are processing a lot of grief; let it go.


The Star Elders, Archangel Michael, and Lord Pakal through Aluna Joy
Message Received on 3/16/19, Recorded live,
but edited to make more sense and flow to those reading this now.
Aluna Joy Yaxk’in

I see a little square cube that is oscillating crazy fast like an atom does in each of our cells. The light cube quickly implodes and becomes a circle, and then goes back out into a cube. The cube and the circle are core symbols to ancient Maya cosmology. The square is the Earth and physical reality, and the circle is the spirit and everything non-physical. The square is about our human spacesuit, and the circle is our limitless spirit. They are the building blocks to everything in heaven and Earth, and they contain every possibility and ability. When it oscillates, we can be both body and spirit. This light cube is a gift to help us remember and to heal because we forgot who we are. . . . Now I am seeing an amazing, living rainbow, kaleidoscope energy. This is an advanced complex form of what they just showed me with the cube. It is morphing out from the center and moving out into the world. It is beautiful and multi-colored. Ok . . . I think they are offering us an activation. So are we ready? Let’s dig further to see what this is all about.

Archangel Michael reminds me that we came here (Palenque) with the intent for healing on all levels. So he says this is the beginning of this healing. I asked within about what are we going to do today, and I hear this now . . . We are to merge with the fast, oscillating light cube, and then they will layer the constant motion, rainbow, kaleidoscope energy. I am sure as we go on that they will make sense of this, and relate it to our lives in human form.

I see that this living rainbow, kaleidoscope energy rises up from the planet’s ley lines and nodes first. Then the energy slowly moves out into the world, so the entire world will have the opportunity and benefit of this energy. For now, I see the energy will be less concentrated the further it goes out from the source. Once all the ley lines of the Earth are fully activated, there will be no deterioration of the energy as it moves across the planet. There are many brave ones working daily on the energy grids all over the Earth. Palenque is built on top of one of two main Earth arteries (ley lines) that circumnavigate our planet. Here in Palenque, we are working with the Plumed Serpent Ley Line. The healing offered here today will begin from a pure and concentrated form of this energy, from this ley line, infused with the wisdom of the oscillating cube, and the stunning rainbow kaleidoscope.

(Archangel Michael, the Star Elders and Lord Pakal say those reading this with an open heart will receive the pure and concentrated form of this energy no matter where you are.)

Are you open to having a physical, soul and spiritual healing on all levels, including your amnesia in this life, your past lives, and ancient lineages? This is what they are offing us today. You must give permission for this activation to take place as you read this, because we/they never force or push any energy on anyone as this is an invasion of your free will, personal boundaries, and sacred space. (If you are not called to this message, you can stop reading here.)

Archangel Michael, the Star Elders and Lord Pakal want us to allow the energy to come into the heart of our beings. Please place your bare feet on the ground, and make sure you are in a space where you will not be disturbed until you are finished with this process. Have pure drinking water nearby as well. Also, do what feels natural for you.

The process begins . . .

Phase 1 – Upgraded circulatory system, and the return of universal memory.

I can see the Earth’s circulatory system which is rising up from this powerful, Plumed Serpent Ley Line. It is rising up in us now, and it is grounding us to the Earth’s energy lines. This energy will come up into our feet, and up our legs first, and, in a few moments, it will go all the way up through our crown chakra. This will give us much needed grounding for what will follow. Now they are showing me the Palace in Palenque. They are showing me that the Hall of Records (a living library) is being opened up to us. It will come in a vibrational form, which will be a groundbreaking and advanced energy and will be new to this Earth. This energy is pure consciousness from the new cycle that has already arrived. We might feel a vibration, or have some temporary pressure or ringing in our ears. In this circulatory system, I see the filaments of colors, red and yellow/gold with some white/silver brilliant light, coming up our legs to our hips and slowly filtering up through our bodies. They say we will be keepers of this energy, and this is a gift from the living library here in Palenque. We are being beautifully infused.

Breathe that in for a few minutes. We need some grounding, so make sure your feet are on the ground.

They are showing me the Hall of Records again. The Hall of Records is the history of the universe and our place within it. But it is also contains infinite possibility for our future. Our place in the history of the Universe is a bit different for each of us because of our personal history, experience and perspective. But at the core, it is the same. They are giving us the living records that belong to us, including the things that we hid away in the past, and those things that our soul agreed to carry forward. We never lost anything, but we did lock much away for future use. Maybe this is why we sometimes feel that we arrived on Earth to soon. This wisdom and information goes back eons, if we could place a time line of infinity. They say the healing that they are offering us today will come automatically and in phases, or stages, as our old body memory begins to move aside, and we remember wisdom and truths that we really never forgot. This will not be a memory that we will receive in our head. Most of the really good stuff that we search for comes into our body as a feeling, and then we will have a series of “ah ha” awakenings that unpack it.

I now see the filaments of light moving up our bodies in red, yellow gold and wrapped in silver white. Hold this light in your heart now, and intend that we will remember the source of all that is. This is the source that we are always a part of. If you feel dizzy or fuzzy, make sure you are standing, or sitting, in a stable way. And I see the guardians of this place sending a great amount of gratitude to us today (and those reading this). Breathe that in for a few minutes, and pay attention to your heart and what you feel.

When we came into this body, we had to forget almost everything we knew. If we had remembered everything, it would have been so unbearable that we would have not survived. So we don’t remember our whole universal history, and our place in it. Yet this is exhausting for our soul, because we never stop searching until we find all the missing pieces. It is almost like trying to start a car with a missing spark plug. We are misfiring all the time, and we know it in our hearts. So this is part of the reason why they are offering this healing today. It is why part of this process is us receiving an upgraded and circulatory system, and the memory of the history of everything, and our place in it.

Now the energy has risen to our hearts, and it is moving to our higher hearts and crown chakra. To complete this process, take a few moments to take this energy all the up to the top of your head . . . to the top of your crown chakra.

We ask that this phase of the healing is sealed into our higher hearts and our sacred place within us where we hold things that are most dear. We ask that it be sealed within us, throughout all time, space, and dimension; body, mind, and spirit; past, present and future; for all time . . . OR . . . until the receiver no longer want this activation. We might feel like a tingling spot, or a pressure, at the top of our heads or at our heart centers.

Wait a few minutes until you feel that this upgrade is complete. This could happen in a few seconds or a few minutes. They want this part to be complete, because next, they are shifting gears and offering another layer to this process.

Phase 2 – Travel on consciousness with internal orientation.

Now they are showing me a lot of geometric images that are going to be hard to describe. They are like nesting cubes, with tubes, tunnels and specific directions. I am asking “What are the directions for?” They say that this is the concept or consciousness of being able to navigate the “TO and FROM” (to travel with consciousness). OK . . . now I understand why they made sure that we were deeply grounded to the Earth and on this ley line with the upgraded circulatory system, because they are going to offer us something that is not grounded at all. They are showing me that this is the energy of how the Star Elders travel on consciousness. The first time I was shown this process, I was here in Palenque in 1990. They are showing me the tube that the Star Elders used to come into this reality and to also return home. The “TO and FROM” goes between anything or anywhere, anytime, any thought, anything. It is our choice what the “where to” and the “where from” is. For now, they are just exposing us to the concept. This is coming to us like a lightning bolt of new frequencies. Just like a lightning bolt, the energy upsurges from the Earth, and it simultaneously shoots down through our crown. It is the core of the “TO and FROM”. Once we feel this today, and, in time, as all the pieces come together, we will be able to use this.

All that they are showing me now is not of the Earth. It is in our spirit, our soul, and now in our body. The Star Elders are not much different than us, because they are our ancestors. They know how to travel through time and space with natural, internal navigation and consciousness. No maps, no GPS, and no asking outside for directions are needed. We already know how to do this, but we forgot. This is why they offer us a trigger to what we already have, so we can remember.

There are many reasons why the Star Elders want us to remember the “to and from” ability. It will end the constant searching for something that we forgot. This will help with fatigue, anxiety and nebulous frustration. There may be other things that we will need to remember in the coming days, but we won’t be looking for this one again. This remembrance will help with the deep feeling that we need to be set free, or feel trapped, because, we will know that we are free. We have the ability to travel at any time as long as it is within our divine purpose. In these chaotic and quickly transformational times, we may need to get out of the way of crumbling programs very quickly. So knowing the “to and from” ability, gives us the peace, helps us relax, and we quit feeling trapped. It is not natural for human kind to feel trapped like we do. It is natural to feel free and limitless. This is the reason why we have craziness and war, because humanity thinks that they don’t have options. They feel trapped, and trapped people do desperate things. The Star Elders say that there is no unobtainable thought. If we think it, see it, feel it, then it is possible. Simple as that! So get creative and dream big.

We ask again that this final phase of the healing be sealed into our higher hearts and our sacred place within us. We ask that it be sealed within, throughout all time, space, and dimension; body, mind, and spirit; past, present and future; for all time . . . OR . . . until the receiver no longer wants this activation.

As we finish here today. I hear many wonder now . . . “How will we be able to travel on consciousness?” This will happen synchronistically, without trying, just at the exact time that we need it most, because we will be 100% present. Remember, trying to travel will only stop the process as we will be telling the universe that we are stuck . . . by “trying”. Does that make sense? Just let go, be natural and be as present as possible.

The Star Elders, Lord Pakal and Archangel Michael honor us, because we chose to come in these bodies, to take on this very pivotal job at this moment of the great crescendo of creation. It is a very courageous choice, because we had to forget almost everything and allow ourselves to fall into a body. Up until now, it has been a blessing to forget how much we lost. It helped us with crushing homesickness. But now it is time to remember. Remember everything. What we forgot is exactly what we need to build the future.

This message was received on the first day of our Mayan Pilgrimage.
The entire take-away message with the significance from this entire pilgrimage is posted here: Why We Are Out Of Time, And Why It Is A Good Thing – . . . And What Is The Time Line Encapsulation?

Today, in the afternoon, it was the right time to initiate the dragons and the female energy tool. Try if you can feel the difference.

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