At Crossroads

working on the heart center the past weeks

today biking to our best florist in town

to order a bouquet for a colleague who suffer from cancer

there I found a turmeric fruit

turmeric which is healing for the heart and cancer & so much more

right before the crossroads of October 10th

by finding the turmeric fruit I could write according to the writing feathers of Hella Kuipers for October 9 .



I am – because I was born

as a product of 1952  – a very good year

 all blue,  little,  fighting for my new life &  a girl too

without a name

mother had the idea “It’s a Susanne!”  the rest of the family got the heebie-jeebies

especially aunt Gertrud 

to stop an escalation all agreed  –  “It’s Gertrud!”

Grandma Margareta wanted an add-on so Maria joined the Gertrud

the new star got baptised as

Gertrud Maria Althausen

 I even got in Chinese years later

somewhere after the year 2000


I was told – from now on – I should be


Easy going Es – steadfast as the tree – easily to remember by other people

because pronouncing Gertrud in another language is hell

sometimes also funny because of all the alterations people make of it
How I came to my names

The ES has a number of different healing properties. Only use the juice to prevent blistering and reduce uric acid. It also suppresses hunger and help losing weight. The leaf is used as an antidote for snake bites and as a compost for warts. It also works laxative and is beneficial in arthritis and rheumatism. The bark is used in the treatment of tapeworms and the seed of the essence tree is taken as aphrodisiac. Men who were impotent ate the seed and were led by a ritual through a split-split eagle. This would make the impotence disappear.

The es is closely linked to rituals for sick children. Newborns receive a drop of essence juice for protection. If a child is severely ill, an es was split into two parts under the crotch and the child was carried by the two halves. Then the two halves were reassembled. If the tree heals, the child would cure too. As an essential oil, the esophagus helps you to gain more strength and flexibility and get a bit more firm.
©MODRON Vrouwencollege

As a matter of fact I’m a healer. I want to work with children. And my energy field during my younger years was in half – the upper body and the lower body with a blockage in the middle. A lot of inner healing work had to be done on this – strength and flexibility came with it over the years.


schrijfveer voor 1 oktober http://heldenreis.nl/schrijfveren


Full Circle

Today was full of action due to endless telephone calls, mails, a coaching session and, of course, a treatment by Annelies Beschoor-Plug. But first things first.

The coaching session: We both started short of breath so a calm start was necessary. First we talked about the last treatment by Annelies and the tool I made about this. I told her about my decision for no operation gall bladder and what good information I’ve got from my general practitioner. During my conversation with him he also said that his concern was more about the steadily rising alkaline phosphatase info in dutch

In short the alkaline phosphatase works on your bones. A high level is normal after a fracture but not when nothing is broken. End of October another blood test to see if the rising is still going on. Then a visit to an internist will be necessary to see what the reason is. When talking about the bones, the session really started. Problems with bones have a deep-rooted, inherited angst of deficiency, hard to believe it ever will be okay. There is often a deep despair with bitterness and disappointment as result. This also can affect the liver and gall bladder.

This all rang a bell because I often hear myself say “it’s all useless!” As a matter of fact one of the angles Neptune make in my birth chart has to do with this angst for deficiency in each and every way. In younger years I had an enormous storage room full with everything you possibly might need and an enormous loaded freezer. The money shortage of the past years also a result of this. It feels like running a maze, a hamster in a hamster wheel and not seeing the way out.There has to be a positive mantra: All will work out just fine!

As I wrote in a previous blog I have to work with this Triangle.

Until now with no success. I also put my ocean jasper into the Triangle – a good move.

Now when sitting in front of the Triangle I have to hold my anti-pain – tool which works on the legs with the theme of going towards a new future.

Fun fact – more or less – : I’m playing Candy Crush and for weeks now I wasn’t able to get through a certain level because I don’t play on Facebook so one can buy extra things. And also while trying to get through I repeatedly said: it’s useless. After the session I mastered the level…. 🙂 I got the telephone call that I was accepted as worker at ‘home administration’ from https://www.meerwaarde.nl where people in financial trouble can get help. It’s volunteer work. I’m good in creating order in chaos.

There is a homeopathic remedy for this theme of deficiency. In the afternoon a good treatment by Annelies Beschoor-Plug.

Hoped for some rest, peace and quiet afterwards but no way. I had to sign a lot of papers coming in by mail as curator for my client. Part of all the sudden rush during this day maybe is the finally forward motion again of Pluto.Live is on the move again too. Off the maze!!

The Wound

Tuesday I had another session with Annelies Beschoor-Plug, the psychosomatic physiotherapist. Her right hand underneath me on my back where you see the red spot.

Her left hand went along my left side like the line I drew on the painting.

Very painful. At a certain point, I heard her saying: ” It’s empty here now, come back here.” I noticed that all my attention was at her hand on my back. I did not feel a hand but like this

The red spot is our backdoor – a central point were our nerves come together and on energetic level it’s the door the soul enters her home the heart. If you happen to experience something nasty, painful et cetera, you may feel itching at this spot. Than you try to escape threw the back-door. Annelies locked this with her hand. My being was trying to get out. I felt panic and I was short of breath. Along the black line, you see on the painting, it felt as if there was a wall, the entrance to a cave. The whole afternoon, after this session, I was panicking and short of breath.

Wednesday all of a sudden I felt more alive and stronger in my legs then quite some time. I had a lot to do and everything could be done fast. The afternoon a sleepy energy and I went to bed early.

Today my next session. Her hand on my back but more in the area of the stomach. This time the hand felt like a plug to prevent something from leaking. The other hand, again, alongside the line. Some minutes past before the pain set in, razor-sharp, like a knife was cutting everything open. The rest of the area seemed to be shuffled all to the right because there suddenly I felt a heavy mountain. An energetic operation was taking place. The sewn tight spot got open, the mountain vanished and it was all over. We talked it through and Annelies had the same experience I had, a razor-sharp knife cutting ……

I know from my own healing work as a shaman that now I have to take good care of the wound. Biking home, no horses. Instead, at an old tree, I saw a branch precisely in the shape of the line of the cave. I already cleaned and colored it. Now its drying in the garden. First photo:

I will finish it today – that is my way of taking care of the wound and to manifest the healing.




Beautiful Art Fair

Spend a splendid afternoon at Sous-Terre Galerie Aalsmeer seeing lots of art and a friend of mine with her jewelry. Here some photos for an impression.

The first art work I saw.

Followed by meeting this young lady:

1st years work , now already in her 3rd year of learning to be a goldsmith. Unfortunately not the best of photo due to my camera.

Made by an artist with the suiting name

My friend Marcelle Meuffels with her hand-made jewelry inside-out line.

Her sister Alexa also there with her photos.


Coming to this beautiful creations, made from the heads of old dolls. First stripped from their hair and look what beauty’s they are now.

The clowns are in and you see who they are, do you?  Had to laugh out loud.

Thy are made by

This is a stunning piece and I would like to have it. Unfortunately I did not succeed to make a photo of the name beside it.

Before I reached the door to leave I came across this:

followed outside by this group:

And with a last photo of the lake, I started the long walk back to the bus stop which was, due to street maintenance, at another location then usual. So beside art I had my daily walk too.






Found this  article from Nederlandse Hartstichting
on LinkedIn. Reading the story of a woman with almost the same pain symptoms as mine who also was first treated for stomach ailment made me think. The place to be in my case is also the heart as you can read in a previous post.

It is astonishing to see, that doctors jump to conclusions and concentrate on only one organ and decide in a wink for a maybe completely unnecessary operation. We all should think twice and ask for a second opinion before operation and/or medication. I surely will.

Update 27-09-2017

Today I saw another doctor and we had a good conversation about the gall bladder. He, like me, think that the gall bladder is not the root of the pains I had and where I had them. So my decision last week to cancel the operation was a good one.

Writing Feathers

Coming again across the schrijfveren van Hella Kuipers I suddenly saw in a wink that all the themes starting today till the end of the month could be arranged as a poem – a poem of my little life – it is in dutch.

heel, heel langzaam
Nader ik meZelf
Na elke stap als
Bij een genadige windvlaag
Waait weer een schaduw
Uit de kamers die ik onderzocht
Wat jaren geleden nog vol angst
een groot risico leek te zijn
Bleek mee te vallen
Ik zag vele films die een leven kunnen veranderen
Zeker het mijne omdat mijn verbeeldingskracht
Van elke rampspoed nog iets goeds kon maken
Ook was en is daar mijn verre prins
die 12 jaren geleden in een bokkig zwijgen viel
En ik aan kant vol verloren verdriet
In een plek die niets weet van mij
waar ik broodkruimel bij broodkruimel leef
Soms verval in pure luchtfietserij
aan dagen die onaangedaan en onbewogen
als een trekhond mijn lijf en leden vooruit tillen
Diep van binnen hunkerend naar een mythisch wolvenlandschap
zonder elastiekjes van oude banden naar weleer om pols en enkels
mijn innerlijke vissen achterna
met moed ver over een stout randje
Om soms dan toch weer als een monument van het verzwijgen
vol met vragen zonder antwoord
’s ochtend te eindigen bij koffie in mijn mooie tulpenmok
Om zoals altijd
Te ontwaken

deze keer voorgoed
Heel, heel langzaam



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