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Posts Tagged ‘saman tools’

….and the beat goes on…

There is closure of what has been seen and understood en to see it on a deeper level, thus another layer. What I’m closing are the developments starting august 2016, followed by May 2017 and November 2017. The walking tool, the mother-tool and the adult parent, not to forget the seal-tool for the childhood experiences. Time to grow up.

It’s not easy when you are in puberty and certainly not when almost 66. My legs and feet are killing and the right knee is damaged like a derailed train. My left leg keeps swelling. There was the start.

Several years ago, I did a family constellation around mother, again… There she was, on her knees, only saying she want to be dead and nothing and nobody could change her mind. Finally 11 woman took all this negative energy, handed it to me and I had to bring it outside. It was a farm and right in-front of me a field with daffodils. She love daffodils, so I brought all the energy there. On my way back to the room, I got stitched by a big horse fly. For weeks this was an infected spot.

Later that year I visited a Physiotherapist. He looked at the red spot mumbling something about ‘ you will have fun of this for a long time ‘. Today he was proven right. Back than I already knew that I have some energetic lock around my ankles. The left leg keep having this and the horse fly spot is red again.

What’s going on is not again that horse fly but something around motherhood – my motherhood. There is some confusion around the theme on the one hand being a mother and on the other to be a woman. Had to think about Elvis who once said, that he had all those other woman because his wife gave birth and with a mother you don’t have sex. Being a good mother is a known trait by me, being a woman is not rely. Also what is not known so far, is being a good nurturer to myself due to the fact that I took care of others since the day I could walk.

Here the legs, especially the left one, come into focus. Legs are not meant to run for yourself, only for others.

Something else came up. Me missing my well-known will power to do what is necessary. I go to the gym with inner reluctance because of the pain. I know I have to make a plan and stick to it: walking, gym, yoga, meditation. Here my coach asked if there wasn’t another tool to support… had to think of my father who drove me through the woods with crouches after my hip-surgery to get walking again…… Followed by something had to be put together…. It was the adult parent and the seal of childhood. Besides the magnesium muriaticum another one is helping this: Magnesium Carbonicum    – the father energy.

When our conversation was over I suddenly knew how to put the two together and which tool to join the forces: the inner father.

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